Moving out from my parents house ?

Question

i am sick and tired of the abuse and my dreams being shot down in this house . i been here for 7 years now . we immigrated from another country.

i can't take thsi anymore. For some lucky reason i have a degree in elec and comp. engineeerin . so i am gona get a job
and move to another state probably CONNECTICUT ?

but i am not sure if i will be able to do it , because i am --scared for some reason . i dn't even know why
do you think i could do it ?

Answer 1

Everybody needs a confidence boost sometimes, so here are a few tips...

1) Feel Good when you Want

When you need to boost your self confidence or self esteem, find 3 things that make you feel good. These could be memories of good times, a piece of music, a holiday souvenir, or a person's face - use photos if it helps. Practise thinking about them and bringing them to mind.

Developing self confidence that lasts - because of the way emotions 'attach' themselves to memories, you will quickly train yourself to feel good when you want - a great help.

2) Beat Self Consciousness

Self consciousness is the No.1 enemy of self confidence. Learn how to keep your attention off yourself. You can do this easily by following these steps...

a) If you notice you have become self-conscious, (you can usually tell because you start to feel anxious), choose something 'everyday' you can see and study it in detail. For example: examine a door, look at the different textures and shades of colour, wonder about who made it and how and so on. The important thing is that you're learning how to keep your attention off yourself.

b) If you feel self-conscious in a social situation, it's usually because you don't have enough to do! Focus on what your purpose in the situation is. Whether you're there to:

find out if you like the other people in the situation
make others feel comfortable
find out some information
make business contacts
and so on...
It's easy to feel self-conscious if you have nothing to do, and much more difficult if your attention is occupied by a task.

Think how comfortable you have been with others when you're all working toward a common goal. The common goal of socialising could be making friends, it could be the exchange of mutually beneficial information, it could be whatever you want it to be!

3) Don't Take Undue Criticism - Even From Yourself !

Challenge your own assumptions. Here's a few to get you started:

a) Confident-looking people have bad moments too.

b) Just because you feel under-confident, doesn't mean other people can tell.

c) If you're saying things to yourself like "You're no good at anything" then rest assured, you're wrong. Everyone can compose a sentence, get successfully to the store, eat without choking. Don't let yourself make sweeping statements about yourself - in the long run it is this sort of thing that can really damage your self image.

Building self esteem is not just about thinking good of yourself, it's about not thinking bad for no reason!

d) Just because you have felt bad about yourself in the past doesn't mean you're always going to feel that way. I have seen hundreds of people surprise themselves once they have learned how to build self confidence in a way that it stays built!

Answer 2

It's very much a regional thing, depends on how big a place you are getting, how many people live there, etc. Here are my costs for a 2BR in Chicago suburbs- Electric ranges from $40 to $90 (that's in the summer when the AC is going all the time) We don't pay for heat, the apartment covers that. Which is a really good deal because gas heating can go up to $200-300 a month in the winter. Water/trash will be about $20 a month, but again, our landlord rolls that into the rent so it's not out of pocket. Phone/DSL- $50 bundled Cable- $60 Renter's insurance- our landlord requires it but I highly recommend it anyway- $20 a month

Answer 3

If you have a degree in elec and comp engineering, you are an adult. If you are an adult and don't have a job, you should get one. If you are an adult, you can probably do what is best for yourself, and if you are a college-educated adult, you can probably make it in another state. Your parents might even be relieved if their adult child gets a job and moves out on his/her own. They might not be as "abusive" or so willing "shoot down your dreams" if you're really working in the real adult world. It's normal to feel some anxiety when facing the unknown.

Answer 4

Consider getting together with an older wiser person, who you trust. Discuss your options together and gain their help in making a feasable plan.
As with any plan, recognize that your first choice or second choice may not come-about, and so have a 3rd or 4th choice option to fall-back on until you can get to where and what you want to do.

We came to the state we now live in, all out belongings in a trailer. Working at jobs that were available at the time, and with a willingness to do anything legal...we're still here 25yrs later, and in a much better situation than our Plan A had been so many years ago.

Remember, getting a job is more about WHO you know than WHAT you know. So, once you get to town, be willing to work at any job available, but get to know people in the direction where you want to go.

Answer 5

First of all, how old are you? Why don't you try getting a job in the same area where you live with your parents and that way you will be away from them for longer time. That way you can get used to making your own money, then see how it goes moving out of the house and living on your own or with room mates close to home just in case it doesn't go well. Once you see that you can be on your own, then move away where ever you want.

Answer 6

My boyfriend moved from Florida to California with $50 in his pocket. Slept in his car until he settled himself. Now he was determined to get away from his parents. If you're determined, then you can do anything. Hope that story inspires you a bit. It sounds like you're very intelligent and you can take care of yourself. Good luck! =)

Answer 7

How old are you? As long as you are legal you can do anything you put your mind to. I do recommend that you try to at least stick it out long enough to save up a decent amount of money as this will help you get a better start. Good luck to you.

Answer 8

is this what you learned in school with you degree..... leave parents because they are being parents....

I don't mind the idea of moving out to be able to live on your own, but your thinking is not right.

If you want to move out, clear your bad intentions first, and make sure you have a job before you move out. but always be sure to take good care of your parents WHO MADE YOU WHAT YOU ARE...

Answer 9

I think that you should move out. You have a degree and it is time for you to stand on your own two feet and go forward.

Answer 10

you can do it if you want to do it
the only person stopping you is yourself