My boyfriend and I have been ddating almost 2 years and we have been sexually active since before we even dated. Lately we have been disagreeing about sex.. He gets mad because i am not always in the mood and he is. But he is literally in the mood all the time. I am 19 nd he is 20 and he keeps saying how he shouldnt be sexually frustrated at 20 but we have sex aroundm 3 times a month and we do other sexual things several times a month aalso. I will admit he does plleasure me more than I pleasure him, but i dont like giving head and he really wants it more. I love him so much but im not too sure i can be in this relationship anymore. I feel like he is acting like a 16 yr old boy who just iscovered sex. I like having sex w him but im on birth control and it does lower your sex drive. Im scared that if we did get past this situation that later in life if we were to get married what if ii didnt want to have sex as much. Im scared hed cheat on me or leave me. i woulld love your advice!!
2007-09-04 15:24:20 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
oh i forgot to mention that we only get to do it 3 times a month because im away at college and hes home. and also i live with my parents and he lives with his parents so we usually dont have a place to mess around alone. Im not a prude or anything. There are just some circumstances in our way.
2007-09-05 10:54:12 · update #1
oh and i know for an absolute fact he would never cheat on me. I trust with 100% and he makes sure i know this!
2007-09-05 10:55:52 · update #2
I think if he really loved you, he would be okay with waiting. I also think you need to talk more about this with him. If he's pushing you to do something you're not comfortable with, then perhaps it is best that the relationship ends. From your description, it sounds like he's looking for sex for himself, so _he_ can experience pleasure, rather than treating sex as a way to experience intimacy with _you_. It's good that you're thinking seriously about this situation. I wish you well.
2007-09-04 15:30:50 · answer #1 · answered by Eastern US Guy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to loosen up. 3 times a month is not near enough. The average couple does it 3 times a week. Therefor, you are only giving him 20% of what normal other couples give. But, no... that isnt even true because you are 19 and 20. You should be doing it even more than that. i recommend you do it at LEAST 3 times a week. Just give him a bj or hj more often. So, your sex drive has slowed down. His hasnt. Why dont you stop being selfish about it and just please the poor dude. You should be glad he isnt just with you for sex because I know for a fact if the relationship was about sex he would have walked by now. Myself and every guy I know would have walked by now had it been about the sex. So, be nice to the guy. Get him off more often. As for your sex drive, talk to your doctor... find an alternative.
2007-09-04 15:31:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
3 times a month is not a lot of sex, especially in a new relationship. 2 years is not a long time. I've been with my current boyfriend for 6 years and we have sex several times a week still. I suggest getting off the birth control, it will do wonders for you libido. As far as giving head, you might as well learn to love it. Try doing the 69 position, it's very erotic and it may make you want to pleasure him more while he's pleasuring you. Back to the birth control thing though, I used to be on birth control and it killed my sex drive plus it made me dry up so fast that I literally couldn't have sex. I understand you're just trying to be extra careful, but I'm telling you, you're too young to be fighting about sex!
2007-09-04 15:32:42 · answer #3 · answered by cindos_69 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At 19 & 20 sex drives are normally high (at least for me). I dated my husband in college we had sex at least 3 times a week. Now in our 30's add a baby and we sound more like you. Meaning what your experiencing is unlikely for a relationship of your age. Women do tend to get comfortable and take sex for granted when its available; another reason you're probably not in the mood. Sex is a big part of a relationship but you shouldn't have to feel threatened by it and stay in a relationship just because. If you feel your are doing your part and your boyfriend is still not happy then the problem lies further than sex and you might have to rethink your relationship. No matter what you must believe in yourself and trust your instincts.
2007-09-04 15:52:36 · answer #4 · answered by shoegal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's been a long time since I've had sex but the last girlfriend that would actually have sex with me, it was more like 3 times a day (her wanting it more than me, I'm happy with 3 times a week) 3 times a month is not that much. If he is giving you more oral pleasure than you are giving him he should stop giving it to you. I wouldn't cheat I would just leave.
2007-09-04 15:41:07 · answer #5 · answered by bproduct69 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not in the mood often, you're not trying. It takes effort. It's frustrating for a guy because after a few days of wanting sex, one is ready to explode. At 19 he is near his sexual peak, women don't hit it until much later. 3x a month is more typical of an old couple. Try renting some xxx videos.
2007-09-04 15:37:55 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been with my boyfriend for almost four years and sometimes we argue about the same thing. I would talk to him and let him know that a relationship a healthy one needs good communication. Plus, if you're already worried about what the future may behold, that is a good indication that you will have bigger problems, and some with trust. If you guys can work on it and agree on things the ride will be alot smoother. If he cant understand that, then he isn't someone you need to deal with. I started reading up on astrology signs and it seemed to help too. I started to understand him better and it has made a difference in our relationship. Sextrology to be more specific could help!
Hope everything turns out ok!
2007-09-04 15:39:15 · answer #7 · answered by madisonclaire326 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't really know whos right or wrong in this situation i don't think either of you are its just your personal preferences...but 3 times a month really isn't alot for 2 young people thats less then once a week : /
2007-09-04 15:30:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a mismatched sex drive is only a problem if it is important to the relationship. some people link up where sex is the only common binder in the relationship. others may base it on companionship or common interests. you need to discover how important the sex is to both you and him. if it is very important to him, you can adjust or look for an exit.
2007-09-04 15:31:31 · answer #9 · answered by bilez1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i would tell him everything that you just said and also maybe try to have sex a little more often with him... see with me and my boyfriend it is the other way around I couldnt only have sex 3 times a month i would die!!!!! try to make it fun and romantic... maybe if you go to the sex shop and get some things go home make dinner watch a movie and then play with the things you bought it would make it fun for you. be romantic and fun with it and do the things that make it enjoyable for you to get you more into it.
2007-09-04 15:34:46 · answer #10 · answered by Kimmy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋