When the mother of my children and I had a falling out last year we almost ended a 7 year relationship. during that time My father was calling me everyday. asking me if there was anything he could do. telling me it would be ok. then we decided to go to counceling. we love eachother. we needed some help in our relationship. It worked. very well. Since telling my Father over a year ago that we were getting back together I haven't heard anything from him. I saw him at my Greatgradfathers Funeral and he walked out the back door. coward.. ANYWAY. I am struggling with the decision to invite him. my whole life he has done this **** to me and now I don't want to do the right thing.
2007-09-04 15:12:14 · 21 answers · asked by Rob B 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It's totally your decision. However, my mom once cross stitched one of those saying pictures for my dad. It says "Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy."
If you can live with and feel comfortable with a decision to exclude him from the wedding, then by all means do so. However, just remember that even if you do invite him, and even if he does show up, you won't spend much (if any) time with him at the wedding. Just make sure the decision you make is one you can live with.
For what it's worth, I would probably go ahead and invite him.
2007-09-04 15:50:49 · answer #1 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is such a shame.
Your father is your father no matter what he has done or will do. He is the only one you will ever have.
He called you at the lowest point in your life and offered his advice and showed his support for you.
He may not agree with the choice you made and as such is keeping his distance making sure that he isnt an influence on the decision you made to stay with your beloved.
He also may think that you are mad at him for giving advice when you were on the outs with your girlfriend.
I think the time has come for you to take him to a nice quiet place for lunch and ask him why he isnt talking to you.
If you miss his presence tell him. If you think he meddled, tell him. No matter what be honest - tactfully - but honest.
Sometimes - and I know - even when asked for advice it isnt always wanted. Especially if you tell a child the truth. It isnt always what they want to hear and so he may think he has overstepped his boundries and is waiting for you to come to him.
I wish you both the best of luck.
Please try to mend this break. You may regret it if you dont. If nothing else, clear the air..
Once that happens you can go on and have your wonderful day - whatever the outcome - at least you will know.
2007-09-04 15:46:32 · answer #2 · answered by psstoffagain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may want to send him an engagement announcement, and allow him to get used to the idea of the pending wedding, then send him a wedding invitation. This gives you both the opportunity to make things right between you as you move into this new phase in your life. Too many times pride destroys a relationship, and lifelong regrets ensue. This would be the perfect opportunity to give him one more chance to amend his error. Sometimes it is difficult for a parent to allow their children to make their own choices in life, no matter their age. Perhaps this estrangement is the only way he knew how to deal with the fact that he disagreed with your decision, and is even HOPING to get this chance without having to come asking for one. Best of luck it whatever choice you make, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
2007-09-04 16:05:37 · answer #3 · answered by hhh.chihuahuas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you invite him. He is still, and always, your father and he does care about you (even if he might not be too fond of your young lady). If you don't, you will assure a permanent separation and, sooner or later, you will regret it (and so will he). A wedding is no time to be vindictive. A friend's family has been torn apart with much heartache for some 15 years over a wedding row. Don't let that happen to yours.
2007-09-04 15:25:27 · answer #4 · answered by MICHAEL R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father or as I would call him "sperm donor" was not in my life after I turned 2 years old.He never really called it was us more or less reaching out to him.I however did not chose to invite him to my wedding.My brother did and ya what a jerk gave him a check and it bounced all the way to the bank.I do not regret inviting him to mine.I have had a dad thats been in my life threw out my whole life even before he dated my mother.But every situation is different maybe he was more a part of yours but if he wasnt I would say get lost!!!!!!!!!
2007-09-04 17:22:22 · answer #5 · answered by I <3 my family! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he wasn't the father he should have been to you and has disappointed you many times, but he gave you life. So to have a peaceful happy wedding day, I would bury my resentments and hurts and invite him. If he chooses not to attend, then at least you can say you did invite him, but for reasons he only know, he chose not to share your day. If you keep the bitterness in your heart, you will not have a serene look on your face on your wedding day, so forgive...let go, let God.
2007-09-04 17:40:25 · answer #6 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it takes a special man to be called a dad but anyone can be a father. You only invite people you care aabout to your wedding
2015-02-23 23:36:17 · answer #7 · answered by Hannah 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One man makes a mistake then he is flawed...if the other person repeats the mistake then there is something really evil about the other person...
May sound harsh...but the fact is you cannot right a wrong by doing a wrong...after all it is your chance to be the bigger and better man by forgiving him....he may have wronged you and your family members but do that one right thing on the biggest occasion of your life...invite him...for all you know he may be ashamed at what he did and repent...it may be difficult for him to say but he will repent...after all your his son...
2007-09-04 15:29:31 · answer #8 · answered by Rony Das 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully you will only get married once.
Therefore, there is no room for error in this decision with your father - you will not get the chance to rectify any mistakes. As much as it gripes you, extend the invitation.
If he rejects it, thereby rejecting you & your bride, you will know in your heart that you tried and you can go forth into married life with your head held high. It is his loss.
Good luck.
2007-09-04 15:28:32 · answer #9 · answered by Jen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would invite him as a guest, but not as a member of the wedding party (no special mention in a program or seat at a special table for example). It's almost more insulting/embarrassing for him that way, but he can participate but not have an opportunity to ruin it for you.
2007-09-04 15:27:58 · answer #10 · answered by az 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋