How do you get over a disappointing wedding?

Question

My wedding was a disaster in my eyes. I was sick and ended up getting two shots the week of the wedding just to make it there. Our rehearsal dinner was so messed up. My music and slide show didn't play, no one could hear us, no one introduced us, everyone left their gifts, our food left over food even got ruined....shall I go on

We did not have a honeymoon. He did surprise me with a hotel room on our wedding night but due to me being so sick we unlocked the door and went straight to sleep...some wedding night. I guess after all the planning and all the dreaming since I was a little girl I just didn't get the fairy tale that I wished for and it has now been 4 months and I still cry about it.

Answer 1

You know a lot of couple are so exhausted after the build up and the entertaining that they just crash when they get to bed that night. As the others have said the ceremony isn't as crucial as the fact that you are married to the person you love. All the stress leading up to the wedding probably dampened a bit of the excitement you had as well. Have a nice renewal of vows, low key, maybe wear your dress again, on your anniversary and enjoy your marriage.

Answer 2

Your life is NOT defined by 1 day. Focus on your husband, your job, your family, your future. Your life has just begun and you are too busy dwelling on the past to embrace it.
I'm sorry you got sick, that was bad timing. I'm sorry your wedding wasn't everything you dreamed, but your marriage can be.
People put way too much emphasis on this 1 day, yes it is important, but not so important that you need to be depressed for months. Get some perspective, go to a nursing home, hospital, or soup kitchen and volunteer a few Saturdays with people who have real problems.
Maybe have a 1-year anniversary party with your family and close friends. Just a cook out or something really fun, but less stress. Your family will understand why you want to re-celebrate so you can enjoy all their company this time while in good health. Or go to Vegas and have your honeymoon for a 3 day weekend and go to one of those chapels that re-marry you. You can get a dress and start making memories with your husband.
Try to move on. Don't let this consume you.

Answer 3

This means that 10 year renewal can be a blast. :)

What about for your 1 year anniversary, you make it into a honeymoon/renewal. You got 8 months to save up and plan by keeping it simple. Don't get all those expectations. Do little reserve here and there and enjoy it. Not worry about how the food will get there or the slide show won't play type stuff.

Ex: My husband and I are renewing on our 1 year anniv in Feb in maui (our original wedding location/year actually). But hey, we got married a year sooner and never got a honeymoon nor the dress. What better way to get a dress and honeymoon is to do it on our 1 year anniv.

My mom and step dad are going (a vacation in it for themselves). Rest of my family, who didn't make the first 1, can't make this one either. But that is okay.

I had to really sit and stop crying too. It is not about the wedding part. It is about WHO you married.

Answer 4

I can see how that would be disappointing. I'm sorry that it wasn't the dream you were hoping for!

But, keep in mind that it was just one day! You weren't getting married just for the wedding, right? You were getting married so you could spend the rest of your life with the man of your dreams. THAT to me is the bigger dream here.

If it still bothers you, consider doing a vow-renewal at your 5- or 10-year anniversary. I know it's a long ways away. Or, do a big bash for your 1-year anniversary if you want. Of course say "no gifts" but just throw a big reception party for your friends and family.

Answer 5

If you rephrase the whole thing as a comedy routine along the line of "you think that you had it bad, I had to walk uphill to school both ways", etc then you can convert it into a good feeling. I was also sick for my wedding (102 fever), the ceremonial wine cup was missing, the photos were taken by an amateur posing as a professional, and I nearly fired the clergyman 10 minutes before the service, threatening to conduct it myself. The hall did not allow us any time for rehearsal so you can figure how coordinated the processional was. For our honeymoon, the hotel bathroom had a daddy long-legs spider with a body about three inches across and legs that were proportional (we went to Hawaii). The hotel staff just handed us a bug bomb and ran. We've joked about it ever since.

It's no big deal that the "Wedding Night" occurred a day late. You got married and that's the important thing.

Answer 6

Cheer Up!! I think brides have and idea of perfection and when we get disappointed it's difficult to get over. I put alot of energy into making my wedding perfect and thought it went smoothly until days later my MIL had an "episode" and lashed at my mother, then at me, then my husband. She felt the photographer didn't take enough pics of her and her side of the family. But after everything, she had better pics than my family. I was in tears after all of this because of lack of consideration on everything that was done to make her happy.

You'll get over this, it took me a good year to get over her behavior. I couldn't even look at my photos w/out getting pissed off, she was miserable at the wedding. Every bride has a story...

Here are some examples
One wedding the priest didn't show up, I think he was drunk somewhere. They had to call the town mayor to perform the wedding

Another, the photographer was flirting with the waitress and had hardly any photos. The one's that survived were taken by a friend, he was robbed and the camera along with the photos were stolen.

Answer 7

I completely disagree with all of the people saying "move on" "you're married, that's the important part" and "it's only one day". How rude! This is a once in a lifetime day that you envision as being perfect, romantic, and wonderful. You're right to be disappointed! In fact, I felt the same way for over 6 months after my own wedding. My advice: Wallow in the misery of your crappy wedding. Complain about it until you're blue in the face, dream about it, cry, whatever you need to do. Because if you don't, you truly won't ever get over it. It's really not ok that your wedding sucked, and you can never replace that special moment in your life. But I say, to hell with them all, and have a vow renewal on a 14 day cruise to the Carribean with all of your closest friends and make it the way you want it. Do it asap, don't wait for an anniversary or special occassion. You WILL feel better about things, I guarantee it.

Answer 8

Try to focus on why you got married. You love your husband and now you have the rest of your lives together. Also, think about what positive things came from your wedding. Did you love the music? Did your photos come back looking great? You said so many things went wrong at your rehearsal dinner, but what about the ceremony and the reception? Did you get a honeymoon or did you guys do anything fun afterwards? Did you see family you don't get to see often? I know it's hard to focus on the positive, but there are so many great things that come from weddings.

Answer 9

You should have hired a wedding professional to oversee and manage your "rehearsal and wedding day activities." Ninety percent of your problems would have been eliminated.
That's what we do, and we do a very good job of it!

Wedding favors are left on the tables because wedding guests don't like "cute or clever" items. Most table favors are a waste of time, money, and effort. And there are plenty of banquet hall dumpsters filled with wedding favors to prove it.

You were sick the week of your wedding because you were so stressed about everthing being "perfect" that you became weak and vulnerable to anything that was floating in the air.

Well if this will make you feel any better, here's a true story . . a Bride (and her parents) spent over $65,000 for the "wedding of her dreams." Only to find out three weeks later that the Groom's girlfriend watched the whole ceremony from the last row in the church . . and then drove to the reception hall and helped herself to appetizers and a few drinks before she left. And two days after the Bride and Groom returned from a ten day Hawaiian honeymoon the Groom moved out fifty percent of their recently purchased furniture and one-half of the wedding gifts (many of them still unopened) and left town to join his girlfriend (while the new bride was at work). Now that wedding was a real disaster!

Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant

Answer 10

I think you've already done it. You've learned some of life's very important lessons. Real life things seldom meet ones grand expectations. Illness can step in and spoil things at any time. Even when everything seems to be going wrong, we generally manage to muddle on through. One must graciously accept disappointment and refuse to look back and brood.

As long as your MARRIAGE is a good one, a disasterous wedding will someday be something to look back on and laugh. Congratulations and best wishes.