I am a teenager. I have parents. I have a question about parenting. SERIOUS answers only please.?

Question

I will try to make this question as short and consise as possible.

What are your opinions on parents and children having an equal playing field?

Example: My parents curse, I cant curse.

Answer 1

you aren't going to like my opinion but I think parents have to set rules. They are the ones in charge. They are responsible to do what they feel is best for you. Whether you agree with their decision or not.
when you are grow up and on your own, you can make your own rules.

Answer 2

There is a point where you will be old enough to take the "heat" for your actions alone, until then you are your parents kid. Cursing is easy and some people think it's funny, but only YOU can know where is the right place. Your parents are just trying to help you learn where that is. (not in front of them it sound like) so think about that... maybe they don't want to hear it. You friends. maybe they do... There is NOT an equal playing field for parents and children. There is always a parent and a child. You are both people and that will always be true but you will always be a child to them. Only after you have a kid will you understand maybe. Cut them some slack, and see your world as it is. Then you become more of an adult.

Answer 3

If off you left out age and a few other factors. Theres nothing worse than a foul mouth teenager. This shows a lack of respect from a younger generation. Let me ask this if your parents were alcoholic would you want to be alcoholic? Your parents have some bad habits and bad habits are hard to break. Every parent wants their children or child to grow up to be better themselves. If the playing field were equal there would be a whole lot of people who wouldn't be having children. Not to mention there wouldn't need to be child protection laws. In a few short years this won't be an issue in the mean time like I tell my daugther with privileges comes responsibilities. My girl is 18 and still has to abide by house rules. So you see even at that age the playing field isn't equal. Like I tell my kid I may not be able to control your actions outside the home but we can at home.

Answer 4

Ugh.... that's a tough one! I only say that because I was definitely pro- equal playing field as a teenager, but now that I am having my own children, I don't know how I am going to feel! Hehe I will say this: a parent should always be a good example to his or her children, because really, it's hypocritical to do something then scold your child for doing it. I'm guessing you've heard "Do as I say.. not as I do" a few times!! Just remember, even though your parents are doing something, it doesn't make it right to repeat it, and if your parents are scolding you, they more than likely have the best intention! I guess in the end, it depends on the situation... for me personally, I won't be so worried if my children curse; drinking and smoking will definitely be a different story! (I don't smoke, and drink only once in a while, but neither will be tolerated under my roof under the legal age!) I don't know if I've helped, just thought I'd give you a twenty-something perspective!

Answer 5

Good point. I'm a parent. I don't think the playing field CAN always b level - because parents are to a great degree responsible for their child's well being & behavior. IMO, kids usually understand & respect that if you give em a chance and a reasonable explanation.

Still, It would make sense for a parent to try to set a good example by NOT cursing. Trouble is, kids are judged a lot more harshly thn adults by society when they use bad language.

As for other things - I try to always listen to my kid's point of view on things, and most of the time we can figure out a compromise, unless it's safety related. Then - my word is LAW :=)

(We have a curse jar in our house - A dollar for every time a curse word is said. It paid for pizza last night - pretty sure 90% of that was my money LOL - my kids have super hearing, I think)

Answer 6

That's the 'Do as I say, not do as I do" routine. Shame on
them. They should be setting an example for their kids. I know
kids today learn both from school as well as from their parents. And it is a shame that parents' don't curb their
swearing around their kids. It doesn't take that much to change words when they're talking to use the more acceptible
terms for things. I know both my husband and i did, so that
our kids wern't hearing it around them. Not that it wasn't
hard sometimes to curb our speach. But they need to think
about how their kids will sound spouting off with bad speach
that becomes a habit after awhile. And I'm sure that teachers
have zero tolerance if they are spoken to that way. You don't
need to swear in order to get your thoughts across. It sure
won't make you seem any smarter, just because you can
lower yourself to speak that way. Just imagine how hard it
will be to find a job one day, if you are so used to swearing
that, it's the only things coming out of your mouth. I used to
have a friend who swore worse than any man I'd been around.
Especially my husband. She was a big woman and could
probably have tangled with a man and won. Well with her
limited vocabulary and hard attitude, the only work she could
find was hard labor jobs. So she took those and got less than
the men, but she still made good money. But she had to lift
heavy things, drive a fork lift, and do some janitor work too.
And everyone who knew her, did like her, since she could
tell a racy joke like a man. But that was then, and now is
another era. Young women should try to better themselves
in order to get a good career going when they are out of
school. And people judge you by your manners and by the
way you look, and dress and speak. It will always be that
way, I'm afraid. So don't try to copy your parents. Try to
be better than that. And set an example for others that
way. Make your parents proud of you. You don't have to
swear with friends in order to be popular. My daughter
didn't and she was popular and she didn't smoke either,
tho some of her friends did. But she eventually changed
friends when those she thought were started buckling
under pressure to do things that got them into trouble.
So try to curb the swearing, even if your parents don't.
And try to focus on learning this year in school so that
you can get a career going when you graduate. You can't
go far with a fast food job. That won't even get you out of
the house and on your own. So you will have to change
your personna and be a better person all around, if you
want to succeed one day.

Answer 7

A family IS NOT a democracy and it should not be run like a democracy. I often will ask my kids' opinions on lots of things but, I always tell them that Dad and I will make the decision. It is sometimes easier to make a rule that applies to everyone (all kids and adults) but, that is more for the convenience of it for the parents to enforce. Not only that but, your family is run by your parents and my opinion is probably not relevant to your parents. Your parents make the rules for your family. The rule do not have to be the same for parents and kids. But, it is nice when the rules are fair and are explained to the kids and understood by the kids. I don;t know how much your parents curse and what the consequence for you is if you curse. Chances are your parents don't want you to sound like a loser and that's why they want to teach you not to curse.

Answer 8

When it comes to parents and children having an equal playing field....there's not one!

I know it's wrong for parents to curse as well as you too. However, when you live with your parents you have to abide by their rules. I know that that's not fair but life isn't fair either. Your parents aren't setting a good example in front of you but you can't call that to their attention. Well....you could but then what would you gain by that?

This is all a "perk" to being a parent. Sorry, I went through it and so did my kids as well.

Answer 9

It is a very difficult time for teenagers these days. You are definitely getting mixed messages from your parents and as far as cursing, yes they probably should practice what they preach. However, no child, teenager or younger should think just because their parents do something that they are entitled to do it. Your parents have earned the right to do things (reasonable and proper things) that they won't allow you to do. You haven't yet earned the right, the experience or the knowledge yet to suffer the consequences (because usually your parents have to pay for your mistakes right now). Just be patient - you will be on your own someday and can make all the mistakes and bad judgments you want.

Answer 10

Your parents work full time and support you. Are you going to work full time and support them? Your parents buy your clothes. Are you going to buy their clothes? Your parents grocery shop and feed you. Can you afford to feed them?

It will never be an equal playing field. If you want the adult privileges, you need to have the adult responsibilities as well. As soon are you are able to do all that is listed above, you would be old enough and mature enough to move out, so sure, you could curse all you wanted in your own apartment when you get home from a long day at work.

Answer 11

There are decisions you can make legally when you are 18 that you cant before then. Thats the law. However these get less and less as you age, so when you were 1 and your parents made you eat peas you didnt have a choice. You probably have a choice about that now.

Also as long as your parents financially support you, even after 18, they probably still have a say. The good news is hopefully you will be an adult capable of mature conversations and can have these with your parents over any disagreements.