Yesterday, I was reading across the omniscient word of God, when I stumbled across:
“If a man finds a girl who is a virgin, who is not engaged, and seizes her and lies with her and they are discovered, then the man who lay with her shall give to the girl's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall become his wife because he has violated her; he cannot divorce her all his days.”
I was so relieved when I read this verse. For a while there, I was doubting God truly was a loving God! But now that he's provided me with the means of acquiring a wife, I feel the love of Jesus all over me!
P.S. I also have to thank the Spanish for the cheap price. There's no better way to extract silver from squalid mines than on the backs of countless Indians. =D Good thing it was all justified with the INERRANT BIBLE.
My question is, do you think the local priest will need actual silver, or will silver-backed u.s. treasury bonds do?
2007-09-04 13:36:38 · 19 answers · asked by robert 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
P.P.S.
Hey I kept reading through this same part of the Bible, I it said that we should stone homosexuals! Who's up for a friendly neighborhood stoning? 7:00 Monday sharp, Jack's house.
2007-09-04 13:40:52 · update #1
How much is a shekel???
And, congratulations!
2007-09-04 13:40:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, US money is no longer backed by silver, or any other metal for that matter. It has value based on the good faith of the US government. (Yeah, I know....)
Second, the money doesn't go to her priest, but her biological father. Since you have made it impossible for the girl to marry by destroying her innocence, you are now responsible for her well-being. And she can divorce you, even though you can't divorce her. (Oh, wait...that no longer applies. I guess taking things out of context, biblically as well as historically, can backfire on you.)
Better, I think to find a wife who will not make every waking hour of your existence a horrible nightmare, with you having no way to get out of it. And to think, you thought 3-4 days wages was a cheap price for such a wife.
Edit: to ~Smirk~, a biblical shekel was a weight of silver equal to about 10 dwt (pennyweights). 50 shekels today would be worth about $30.75.
2007-09-04 21:02:26 · answer #2 · answered by King James 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure, for the local Church, they would prefer actual silver. ^_^ Or you could always just melt down whatever silver jewelry you can get your hands on and hope they don't test the content. *wink*
Sorry, but Monday nights are the nights I dance naked under the moon around a bonfire... Let me know when we can take our kids to the temple for being disobedient so the elders can stone them, though. My 17yr old hasn't been doing his chores this week. ^_^
2007-09-04 20:52:34 · answer #3 · answered by River 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
whats a Virgin??? where do you find one? do they realy exist???? i once read about that, but it was something i saw in American Mythology I think???? and as I remember, I think the guy went to Jail for some reason or another? any way im a Virgo, but i dont think its the same, cause its spelled differently! I remember when girls wore Virgo pins, sorry im into a 6 pack,,,,thats virgin Pins. nowdays ya have to look for the Expiration date. Thats when they past the date of freshness! or was that a warrenty guarente? She only been driven 30,000 inches! But its up to you to teach her to cook something other than Microwave. dont forget the option of going to mammas house for dinner . thats your Ace in the hole! good luck. other things in the hole dont keep you working cause you missing some sleep. happy food stamps!
2007-09-04 21:18:57 · answer #4 · answered by pszch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sure are going about getting a wife the hard way! It's good that you're reading the Bible, though! LOL! You crack me up!!
2007-09-04 20:43:58 · answer #5 · answered by Native Spirit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rape wasn't justified, but the guarantee that the man had to be around to support the family was good. I think we would be better off today if divorce wasn't so easy.
2007-09-04 20:43:19 · answer #6 · answered by RB 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You must have missed a few verses if you feel Almighty God gave you His permission and blessing. REREAD the entire chapter.
2007-09-04 20:44:34 · answer #7 · answered by faith 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm not sure if this is a joke or not. when my fiance' asked for my parents blessing he didn't pay my dad anything. I'm not a slave to be bought. i honestly think your taking that way out of context.
2007-09-04 20:47:20 · answer #8 · answered by Ms. Lady 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
real silver, i mean what, people make silver nowadays in nickels. okay, maybe that priest likes collecting nickels, but so what.
2007-09-04 20:41:37 · answer #9 · answered by Retrosaur 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well Congradulations but if ur not saved then u might have some problems God tells us not to be unequally yoked
2007-09-04 20:40:44 · answer #10 · answered by bballsk8er4life 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋