Iv'e had up and downs-i have anxiety and depression.
And I have put on weight, im not huge but i am only 5' 3'' so it's noticeable. Im not a fat lazy cow so please don't call me this.I do eat healthy and exercise but
i think maybe anti depressants have made it hard for me to lose the weight-i have been trying which is upsetting that i have had little or no results.
This has led to problems with my long term boyfriend and he openly blamed my weight gain on his 'looking else where' for other women and increase in porn use.
(I am two dress sizes bigger than when we first met, i have never been small)
This has pretty much hurt my feelings and self esteem real bad
I don't know how to feel good about myself anymore as i know he fancies other women more than me. I do make an effort but when we go out and he notices someone slimmer we end up having a rotten time because he has made me feel so low.
I just feel really angry inside, i could just explode.
Please help
2007-09-04 11:57:33 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tattylashes-i loved your story and i can relate, but you are wrong depression is an illness.
I agree once you start doing things you feel better-yes that is what i have been doing but its like my body is not responding. No-one eats healthier than i do, i eat the least out of everyone i know.
You can take antidepressants, go to the gym and live on salad and still not lose weight.
I have been in the situation before as i yo-yo on antidepressants as i have anxiety disorer so i can live without them for a while then i find i go back and weight becomes an issue for me again. its just frustrating. Thanks for your advice!
2007-09-05 02:28:24 · update #1
Talk to him about how his behavior is making you feel. Explain that you are feeling a bit bad about yourself and tell him how he can be more supportive.
Continue to fight your anxiety/depression. Talk with your prescribing physician and see if you can be switched to an antidepressant which does not include weight gain as a side effect. As far as the weight loss is concerned, don't lose hope when you aren't seeing immediate results, continue with your exercise/healthy eating regime. Consistency is the key. The weight will come off.
If your boyfriend cannot understand what you are going through and be more sensitive, then you may have to take a break from him, while you work on making yourself better.
Surround yourself with positive people who encourage your success.
Best of luck :)
2007-09-04 12:09:37 · answer #1 · answered by leela 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
2 fold problem, so here is a 2 fold answer.
1) You are correct in your assumption taht there are a number of meds that can cause weight gain, mood stabnilizers are often the worst among them. Consult your Doctor, and talk to him about it frankly, tell him your concerns, and your expectations.
2) Dump him, if he is that concerned, he would be helping you through the touhg times, not CREATING the tough times.
Therapy, and a mild excercise regimen may help, not talking about jogging a mile or two, but even getting out of the house and walking can do waonders for your body and your mind.
Therapy therapy therpay.
Did I mention therapy?
2007-09-04 12:10:50 · answer #2 · answered by Michael H 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This guy is not worth it. You need to find someone that will love you no matter if you are skinny, fat, short, tall, whatever. What matters is what's inside and your feelings. You need someone that will appreciate you and any person that really loves you would try and do anything to make you happy. I was like that with one of my ex boyfriends and after he dumped me for someone prettier I started feeling even more down, but I found someone who loved me for who I was, it didn't work out eventually but he made me realize that I was beautiful no matter what. You need a good guy, now go dump this one!! I know it's easier said than done, but the more you wait, the more you are hurting yourself.
2007-09-04 12:07:27 · answer #3 · answered by .:*eri*licious*:. 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are unique. There is no one else like you. Take responsibilty for your life. You decide what you want to do. You make the ground rules for you; define your own standards and try to live up to them.
Your boyfriend is behaving badly towards you. He should be supporting you emotionally and practically but he is not doing so. In fact, he is running you down. Put a stop to it right now. You don't need your current boyfriend; dump him and find a new man. I know you can do it.
Best wishes, Fanshawe x
2007-09-04 12:12:59 · answer #4 · answered by Fanshawe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
can i just be honest without sounding bad here please? i gaines 2 stone recently because i got lazy.....i ate lots of fatty foods, i didn't excercise, i was immobile, i did'nt do anything but eat and i stayed in the house and did nothing for over a year...i piled on the pounds and i lacked confidence, when i saw my friends they were forever telling me that i had gained weight, and it hurt, so i would stuff my face and try to forget it.....i finally woke up to my senses and got out of the house, and the rut i was in, i stopped eating fatty foods, i got on my bike every day i went and met my friends and actually started enjoying myself, all i needed was motivation, i got positive and i started to believe in myself....before hand i would not even get undressed infront of my partner, our sex life went AWOL and that caused alot of problems between us....my point is, you have to get up and start doing stuff again, stop eating the wrong stuff and start getting positive, go out for a walk...visit people, do something...depression is only brought on by ones self, it's not an illness, it's something that people put upon themselves, theres only you and you only that can get out of that state, pills don't work, they make you worse...you have to gain positivity before you can move on....i have lost 2 stone now and i feel fantastic....better then i did a year ago..the reason why you feel this way is because your in a rut...you have to snap out of it and get positive again....lifes too short hun...believe me...dump the negative...and i mean the man yoe with...he's not helping...findo somone who will guide you in the right direction...this guy is not for you....
2007-09-04 12:19:18 · answer #5 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont know if i understood very well (hey, i'm not a native english speaker) But as far as I understood, you first need to stop taking antidepressives and try to watch some real good comedy shows (laugh is the best stuff!!) then, try to exercise a lot (i like to swiiim :D) aaand ask a medician what you should do (i saw a guy who loose 60Kg)
2007-09-04 12:09:41 · answer #6 · answered by Andeson 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not sure i can help sorry, but any man who tells his girlfriend that the reason he's looking at (more) porn and other women is because she's gained weight is a real scumbag.
Not sure that'll help you but, i needed to say it!
Get a new fella!!!
2007-09-04 12:16:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, get rid of him. He doesn't deserve you if he is going to treat you with that much disrespect. He should encourage you and help you lose weight if you want to. Looks shouldn't be everything though, and if he truely loved you he wouldn't do such mean things. He's helping to lower your self-esteem.
2007-09-04 12:09:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dump the bf fast.
But your getting good feed back here just find things to do for your self. Mostlikly you got bigger from stress so I would guess he was never good for you.
2007-09-04 12:08:15 · answer #9 · answered by Cjara 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is rotten. Leave him. Find someone who can appreciate you for you.
Honestly being stick-skinny is overrated. Lots of beautiful women are curvy and voluptuous. And I know a lot of curvier girls that are a hell of a lot nicer than the sticks.
2007-09-04 12:05:58 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋