Why do some parents allow their children to misbehave, and get angry if somebody comments on it?

Question

Read the question I posted earlier for more details:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AhZMLO1oORLPPcEDwecSk5_sy6IX?qid=20070904065848AAjcj8h.

They stayed the weekend with us and as usual his niece drove me nuts! I talked to my mother inlaw about it this afternoon and her response was that they just won’t bring her anymore. It wasn’t like she was saying that as a result of this child acting out, it was as a result of me saying something. They are very defensive when it comes to this child and so is my husband, although they have all commented that the child’s behavior is out of line. I just couldn’t tolerate the backtalk, tantrums, begging and constant desire for attention.

Sorry, here's the link ... I hope it works ...

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AhaTPUYoxGesHhYZC02KMYjsy6IX?qid=20070904065848AAjcj8h

Answer 1

They are just dumb parents , I have 4 , two girls 9&12 and 2 boys 13&15 , Anytime they stay with anyone , I tell them from the start , if my kids act up , or do not mind , they have my blessing to knock them out , or call me , and I will do it , my kids know how to act , even when they were little we could go out to a nice place to eat , and my kids were well behaved , my kids do not pitch fits in public or at home , It is law in my house , that ..My job is to provide the love , security , and guidance , and finacial support to raise them to be the best human being they can be , and remain at all times a productive citizen of society ,
Their Job is to do as they are told the first time , achieve the highest they can in school , and never talk back or argue . I do not count to three to get their attention , I do not negotiate with a child over disapline , they do as they are told the first time or get that old skin condition that makes the butt cheeks turn red when a leather belt is applied .

My house is no where near a military type thing you are picturing , we have fun everyday , I spend all the time I can with them , I do paintball, skateboarding , etc with the boys , and I do everything from watching Hannah Montana , playing with barbies , and shopping with my daughters , we go everywhere , and do everything together as a family , we are always laughing and cutting up , day ,and night , but in my house NO means NO ,and what I say goes . They know the rules , and will abide by them , They can pick their own clothes as long as it is appropreiate and decent . This is the way it is , they do not run me or my house ,They have no say in how my house is ran , they can finish school , get a job , buy them a house , and then they can say how theirs is ran ,

I am not scared of what my kids think of me , I do not care if they hate me when I have to be mean , that does not matter to me ,
What matters is what kind of person they turn out to be , If they grow up and turn into criminals , drug addicts , greedy snobs , or self centered ego trippers ( as most other kids are these days ) If my kids do not grow up to hold the door open for another person , or let the elderly in front of them at the check out , or if they do not help others with nothing asked in return then I have Failed as a Parent ,

Too many so -called parents are worried more about being a friend to their child instead of a parent , and I guess they are so shallow , that they get offended when it is pointed out to them ,

Answer 2

when a child is like that its usually because the parents aren't consistent with what they say. no means if u pull a temper tantrum i'll give in cause i don't want to deal with it.kids are smart and can understand if i got what i wanted for acting this way then i should be able to do that with the same results all the time.these parent aren't putting the effort into parenting and have probably given up and just let the child run all over them cause they just don't want to deal with it and in the end it will be worse and they are gonna have a big headache.the rest of the family gets angry cause theirs nothing they can do about it saying anything to a parents that your doing something wrong will probably make them mad and wont do any good anyway cause they don't care.best thing you can do is show your not gonna put up with his sass that you are an adult that deserves respect , (respect your elders) i wouldn't expect too much he's parents aren't demanding his respect or enforcing him to be respectful and just allow him to talk that way without any reprimands.its very sad but this is how kids are turning out these days. hope this helps. Good luck :)

Answer 3

You need to realize that parenting is hard. Especially if it is a small child. In most cases, we're damned if we do, and damned if we don't. If we raise our voice or punish our kids in public, we're bad parents, and we have to worry if someone called the CPS...then if we don't people think we're bad parents cause we aren't doing much. Personally, I have 3 children under 4. Grocery shopping with them is a nightmare. They cry and scream for any little thing they want, and I ignore them, and tell them that when they can ask nicely, I might get it for them, but until then, no. We are also on a tight budget, so most of the time, I only have enough money to buy what we need, and cannot afford $5 juices, or candies. After a while, they stop crying, but in the mean time, I get nasty looks. And I also get nasty looks when I've had it, and raise my voice to them.

Answer 4

How old was the child first of all? Most parents are blind to their little darlings acting up and being compelte brats.
I know this one time me and my husband. We have a 8 year old and he has a 6 year old(from his previous marriage) together so we have kids and we know what it is like.
Anyway we were out at nice/non-kid resturant and this child behind us atleast 5 years old..Was acting worse than a 2 year old...And once the food started getting tossed on to our table. I made a rather loud comment about not controling thier kids.
The woman was all offended and complained to managment on me and asked if I had ever tried to eat out with kids.
Told her yes we have two and they don't act like animals that belong in a zoo.. Management, gave my husband and me a free meal b/c they had several complaints about the family.
IMO if they dont'want to bring the brat, good enjoy your time and don't feel guilty

I couldn't see your other question it had been deleted.

Answer 5

Children are misbehaved because the parents are too selfish to do what needs to be done to raise the child properly. So it makes sense that parents who have misbehaved children would be defensive of them. It'd be like admitting their own fault. Usually parents like this like to blame the child or circumstance, like its completely out of their control and the child magically developed this behavior all on its own.

Its rediculous. And the sad part is, the only person suffering is the child, for their whole life. I'd like to smack those people around a little. Theres little in life more wicked than people who are too selfish to raise their kids right.

Answer 6

Some parents are just lazy and do not want a reminder of that.
Accountability is not easy, and lazy parents do not want to be accountable for their children.

Answer 7

It comes down to a matter of opinion. What you see as misbehaving they see as acceptable behavior.

Answer 8

Many parents don't like to be told how to treat their children.*

Answer 9

I've always wondered about that, too. Probably they were the same way as their kids, when they were kids.

Answer 10

Yahoo says that question was deleted.

It is your choice to have them stay with you, it is their choice how to raise their kid. Your idea of behaving may not be theirs.