My husband doesn't know how to treat a baby. We have two children, a two year old daughter and a 3 month old son. I never remember my husband having a hard time when my daughter was a baby but because she was such a good baby and never cried. Now with my son, he doesn't cry a lot only when my husband is holding him. He's the kind of baby who needs to be comforted all the time, talked to and played with constantly. Well my husband just holds him and doesn't even try to calm him down. He says he feels stupid and silly talking and playing with a baby. Does anyone else have this problem because I just don't know what to do anymore. I get no help because my son just cries when my husband is holding him.
2007-09-04 09:44:36 · 6 answers · asked by I smile because of them ♥ 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
This probably doesn't help you but I can tell you I was in the same boat. My husband was pretty useless when our kids were babies. His idea of soothing the baby would be to jiggle the crap out of the baby (not dangerously so, but you know what I mean) - the baby would continue screaming and screaming and he wouldn't even try to change positions or anything, he'd just keep jiggling away! If I made any suggestions, he'd get annoyed and say "here, you try then".
All I can say is I found with my husband, that some men are just not good with babies. Its just the way some are. When I needed help, I just tried to have my husband deal with the older kids while I tended to the baby. If its any hope for the future for you, my kids are 6, 4 and 3 and he is WONDERFUL wtih all of them now. He's a better and better father the older the kids get and he is an amazing help to me.
I wish you the best of luck!
2007-09-04 12:47:08 · answer #1 · answered by Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try giving your husband alone time with the baby.. even if that just means you are in another room in the house and not paying attention. Maybe he is worried doing all the baby things with you or anyone watching compromises his manhood or something and he feels awkward and silly or maybe you with completely good intentions are telling him how to do things and that makes him uncomfortable.. but if no one is watching maybe he will trying the "silly" things and once he is successful at calming the baby he will be more confident. He just maybe needs room to be silly.
2007-09-04 17:03:04 · answer #2 · answered by Jade645 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your husband is feeling stressed and overwhelmed with the new baby. Maybe saying he feels stupid or he doesn't know how gets him out of baby duty? It sounds to me like he's got some feelings he's not sharing. The baby is probably picking up on his stress level and getting upset. Try talking to him about why he feels stupid talking to the baby. Maybe you can get him to open up about what's really bothering him.
2007-09-04 16:54:26 · answer #3 · answered by Kat H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babys can sense when people are nervous and that makes them nervous, so tell you husband to relax, or when he holds the baby encourage him if the baby stops crying it may be that he is scared now and wasn't when your daughter was young.
2007-09-04 16:54:02 · answer #4 · answered by gesmith86 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Encourage more bonding time for father and son. Check out the site below for some ideas.
2007-09-04 17:50:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happened to himn since the last baby? Or wasn't he around then?
2007-09-04 16:53:00 · answer #6 · answered by Puppy Zwolle 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋