How do I get people to use my full name when referring to me?

Question

I live in the U.S. and most people just use their first and family names. I prefer to use my first, middle, and family names (ex. Martin Luther King, Alexander Graham Bell, John Quincy Adams, Kareem Abdul Jabar, Sarah Michelle Gellar). I do this because my name is too short, it sounds better that way, and it's how things are done in my country of origin. Whenever people address me on envelopes or introduce me, they only use my first and family names. I HATE that, but I don't want to make a fuss about it. How do I get them to use my full name in a subtle manner? Should I trick people into thinking that my last name is 2 words?

10 points for the best solution!!!

I don't want people to address me by my full name. People usually just call me by my first name and I'm cool with that. If they introduce me by just my first name, it's okay too. I can't stand it when they introduce me by the 2-name system common in America. I'm saying, use 1 or 3 name(s) but not 2 when introducing me and addressing me in envelopes or email contact lists. My email address and outgoing email name uses my full name.

Answer 1

Always refer to yourself the way you wish others to refer to you.

When you make a phone call say "This is __ ___ ___. May I speak to Mary?" and when Mary answers the phone say "Mary, this is __ ___ ___". Soon Mary will be calling you by your entire name or at least she will ask why you refer to yourself that way and the opportunity is there to educate her on your preferences.

Do the same with e-mails, memos, or any other correspondence you may have with friends and co-workers.

When speaking of your family use their 3 names as well and hopefully your friends will pick up on this and question you, giving you the chance to explain the customary use of the entire name.

Answer 2

You mean like John Boy Walton or Billy Bob Redneckerson? Sometimes the connotation isn't as favorable as the examples you gave.

You simply need to use it in conversation as you introduce yourself and it will become usage. "Hello, I'm Jean Pierre..." or "Hey, I'm Billy Bob Jimbo"

When being read from a list though, expect that the middle name will be exculded - most Americans do not use their middle name in conversation so it is excluded when being read unless attached by a hyphen (in which case it is included) or when combined into a single word as in "Maryann" vice "Mary Ann".

So, our friend Jean Pierre Genvieve could write his name as Jean-Pierre Genvieve or Jean Pierre-Genvieve and get the result he's after. This would result in him being referred to as Jean-Pierre or Mr. Pierre-Genvieve (respectively) so which one used is important. He could also use JeanPierre or Jeanpierre but those look funny.

In the examples you gave there is some difference:

* Martin and Dr. King (not Dr. Luther-King), in speaking he was Martin or Dr. (or Rev) King. In writing he is Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
* Alexander or Mr. Bell (in speaking he wasn't Alexander Graham or Mr. Graham Bell). In writing he is Alexander Graham Bell.

As our friend Jennifer points out - some people will shorten anyway. That's the nature of some people and it won't matter how much she hates being called "Jenny", someone will do it anyway. And someone will just shorten her to "J-girl". For the most part though, people will respect your wishes if you let them know.

Since a name is nothing more than a label - it's not a trick to relabel at all. It's personal branding. How many people do you know who "trick" people into thinking their name is John when it's really Johnathan?

Answer 3

No offense honey; but you must understand and respect that you are living in the United States of America now.
Yes, America loves & embraces all cultures--however, there's a point where you must accept that American culture will merge with your traditional culture. On the other side--if we were in your home country, we'd be callled by 3 names (first, middle, last), not 2; and that would be because its "the culture".

No one is trying to disrepect you; it's just that in America, 90% of people are called by their first & last names; and its considered arrogant to demand that people address you by 3 names; unless you are as powerful & important as Martin Luther King Jr & Alexander Graham Bell. And the other man said it best; if you want to be called by your first, middle, & last name--do something as important as all the people you named.

..the only thing I can tell you to do is merge your first & middle name to make 1 name. For example, if your first & middle name is Jo Pin; your new name is now JoPin...and if your first & middle name is very long--then you must shorten either the 1st or the 2nd to make one new first name. For example, instead of Josinya Freedman, your new name is JoFreedman.

Answer 4

Whenever you address people whether orally or in writing you should give your full name. It´s a cultural thing in the sense that in Latin America there is no problem with this issue but they are not accustomed to this in Gringolandia.However , when in Rome , do as the Romans do. That piece of advice has been good for many years and is still applicable today.

Answer 5

Don't wait for someone to introduce you....introduce yourself. When you do introduce yourself, tell them what they should call you. For instance, if your name is Martin Luther King, intro yourself and say " My friends call me Martin Luther".

People would rather be corrected the first time they say your name wrong than calling you the wrong name over and over. That's embarrassing for them later on. At least anyone who respects others would rather know asap.

Hope that helps Martin Luther.

Answer 6

Obama's middle call isn't used like John Quincy Adams or Franklin Delano Roosevelt. George W. Bush is used using actuality his father has an identical call and as to no longer be at a loss for words with him on condition that they the two have been presidents. Barack Obama is how he's stated as. every person is customary which includes his middle call is Hussein and he's not ashamed of it, yet there are lots of people who use his call as a racial epitaph relating Saddam Hussein. His father strengthen into Muslim and possibly somebody in his kinfolk mandatory his middle call to be that? yet Barack Obama is how he's stated as. no longer Barack Hussein Obama. i'm no longer scared to assert his middle call using actuality he's my president and thats his call yet his call does not would desire to be spoken in 3 words using actuality he's not on the problem of any previous presidents who share an identical call like FDR, JQA, and GWB have.

Answer 7

When you get introduced to somebody and it's not what you would like to be called simply tell them you would rather they call you by your full name and tell them what it is. When you send out letters or emails sign your name with what you would like to be called. Also, when using the phone tell the person on the other end...This is _____ _____ ____. And everybody should catch on. Good luck.

Answer 8

As annoying as it may be, I think you are just going to have to correct people when they say it. "Actually, I prefer to go by Martin Luther King" for example. Don't say it rudely, but just as a note. People arren't doing it to make you mad, but just because it's a cultural thing, like you said.

As for those close to you, stop responding to anything but your full name. My name is Melissa and for some reason my close friends started calling me "melly" or "missy" or even "mel." I don't like any of those version of my name, so to get it through their heads I just stopped answering to anything but Melissa. They eventually got used to it and stopped. But I only did this with people who were close to me and I knew wouldn't get offended. Most of them laughed about it.

Answer 9

yes manipulating and tricking is always better than just being direct. If its important to you then just politely correct them and ask if they would refer to you by your full name. If you would rather be manipulative then you will have to deal with lots of people that subtly call you the wrong name just to get you annoyed.

Answer 10

You don't have to "make a fuss," just tell them. Many people have this preference, as you pointed out. Lots of people want just a middle initial, but don't want it left out. That's what I do: I don't like my middle name, but I like having the initial in there; makes it harder to mistake me for someone else.

Anyone who is not willing to accommodate your wishes in this matter is being rude.