My son turned 3 recently and his father has started spending time with him. He will usually get him on either a Saturday or Sunday a spend the day with him and bring him back home. I've recently decided to go out a little more on the weekends and i would ask him to allow our son to stay over with him (I'm 22). He has asked to keep my son every weekend before and i kind of said no at first because i didn't like the idea too much but my son loves him to death and i know his father would not hurt him so i guess i had a change of heart. Now my son's father makes me feel like i'm a bad mother and i neglect my son when i ask him to keep him on the weekends so that i can go out with friends. I try not to go out every weekend but i feel like if he's asked to keep him and let him stay over then why should it matter what i do with my free time. I spend time with my son and do things like going to the zoo and movies but his father has made me feel like i should not hang out on weekends.
2007-09-04 09:07:12 · 9 answers · asked by 1 bad chick 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Depends. Are you just hanging out, or are you getting drunk, having sex with strange guys, etc? If you are just hanging out, yes, he's being unreasonable. If it's the latter, he has a valid complaint.
Also, did he just start seeing his son? What was the reason he hasn't before? Was it that he didn't want to, or was it that you didn't let him? If it was that he didn't want to, he's to blame for that. If it was you didn't let him, then you are to blame and he may feel like it's his time for revenge and making you feel bad.
My advice is to get court ordered visitation.
2007-09-04 09:19:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO it does NOT make you a bad mother! Its because he is jealous. My daughters father does the same thing, and i just tell him "it is NONE of your business what i do, as long as i am not putting my daughter in any harm, then it is none of your business what i do on my free time" and that usually shuts him up. Your son doesnt need to see his father every weekend, you could always do something like every other weekend, and the weeks that he doesnt have him he can take your son 1 or 2 nights during the week, or he can just see him every other weekend. And if your son is 3 and he JUST recently started spending time with your son, who the hell is he to be calling you a bad mom? He hasnt been there for his son for 3 years so he has NO room to talk!
2007-09-04 09:17:40 · answer #2 · answered by tayvrc2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that makes you a bad mother at all, as long as you make your son the center of your world when he is around. You are trying to encourage a relationship between your son and his father...how can that be bad? Also, you are 22 years old. Just because you are no longer with your baby's father, does that mean you should be expected to never date or go out with friends again until your son is 18 and moves out? That's ridiculous. Tell your baby's father that what you do on your own time is none of his business, and all he needs to know is that you provide more-than-adequate care for your son whenever you have him, and you expect him to do the same when he has him for a visit.
2007-09-04 09:13:03 · answer #3 · answered by fizzygurrl1980 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that this would make you a bad mother. Still, if the father is only supposed to have him on saturday then you should confirm ahead of time that he does not have plans for sunday before you ask him to watch your son over night. It is only commen curtousy. If you do that and he confirms that it is ok and he was not busy then I see nothing wrong with you enjoying the free time on the weekends. After all he only has his son on weekends correct. You take care of him the whole rest of the week. So it's not like you aren't taking care of the child.
2007-09-04 09:15:18 · answer #4 · answered by Fayt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a bad mother. You are letting your son spend time with his father and getting a little time of your own. Tell the father that if he wants to keep his privilages, he will stop calling you a bad mother.
2007-09-04 09:12:43 · answer #5 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this has been my exact situation for the past few months....at first when the kids would sleep at their fathers house over the weekend, i would stay home and do nothing because i felt guilty if i went out....but something hit me....it's my time...i have them all week and i take real good care of them...if they are home all weekend and i can't go out, so be it....but when they are out...i am going to go out....it's none of the fathers business what you do with your free time...go out and have fun when you can...it doesn't make you less of a mother....just don't discuss it with the father...it's of no concern to him....
it's okay to separate yourself from your kids when you are alone....it makes for a happier mom
2007-09-04 09:19:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is as much as you techniques you advance your toddler. What ever your gut tells you,then do it. a foul mom is somebody who does not feed their childrens,somebody who beats their childrens,somebody who does not care. a sturdy mom is somebody who loves their childrens,who cares approximately them,who makes optimistic they have each little thing they decide for MOMMY TO ANGELBABY: So if somebody can no longer discover the money for kind new stuff for his or her toddler and use stuff from different people who remains in stable shape they're undesirable mothers? If a mom has to pass to artwork to help her kin and make optimistic her kin has what they decide for,they seem to be a foul mom? If a mom has to apply WIC or foodstamps,because of the fact she will't discover the money for to no longer,they seem to be a foul mom??in case you're making optimistic your toddler is fed,you're a foul mom? as long because of the fact the toddler isn't hungry then what's the deal? in case you feed your toddler in public you're a foul mom?? so which you pick for the toddler to pass hungry? If a mom takes her toddler in public earlier he/she is six weeks she's a foul mom? So the mummy is assume to employ a sitter for 5 minutes on a similar time as you get diapers? you're a foul mom in case you enable your toddler cry for a couple of minutes? it is stable to enable them to,because of the fact it enables their lungs. you're a foul mom in case you feed toddler solids below 6 months? healthcare expert reccomends it at 4months.i will't belive you particularly reported that. you think of you're a suitable mom do no longer you? information flash darlin' there are not any suitable mothers yet they're are stable ones
2016-10-09 22:56:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no that doesnt make you a bad mother!! dont ever tell yourself that!! hes just jealous that you have more free time than him! your 22! you can go out sometimes with your friends and u shouldn't feel bad about it
2007-09-04 09:13:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
his father is just being an a**, you deserve free time, whatever it may be..afterall, what does his father do when he doesn't have his son?...and it's good your son gets to spend time w/ his dad..so just stop listening to him
2007-09-04 09:12:45 · answer #9 · answered by VWBeetleBear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋