You see, I had a -HUGE- crush on my best friend/his ex, and right then I knew that I was bisexual. And now I am going out with my current boyfriend, James, and this is KILLING me on the inside, but I don't know how to tell James because I am DEATHLY afraid he won't love me anymore because of it! Help D: I don't know what to do!
2007-09-04 08:59:42 · 38 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh, and I've made out with a girl several times before I met James.
2007-09-04 09:13:33 · update #1
To reduce the shock for him, slowly introduce him to the idea that you are bi. Like, when you see a hot girl, ask him--- "hey honey, isn't that girl hot?"
I'm sure if you do such things often enough he'd have some suspicions about your sexuality. After that, you reveal to him your orientation.
If he really loves you he'd understand. It's his right to know your sexuality. It's hard for a man to compete with a woman in this case so it's important for him to know that.
2007-09-04 09:07:39 · answer #1 · answered by 123mantobeat456 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as it's just a feeling, and you haven't actually acted upon those feelings, yet.... then it's really a non-issue. If you've already cheated on him, it doesn't really matter if it was with a guy or a girl, you still cheated. I think if you tell him, he would probably be cool with it.... I've never known a straight man that didn't want to get it on with 2 girls at the same time. So who knows, it may even strengthen your relationship. Good Luck!
2016-05-21 03:17:30 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you asked yourself just how much you are bisexual? I mean do you want to be with a woman more than you do a man? Or would you rather play with a woman sexually but have a relationship with a man or vice versa? ANY outside influence to a relationship can be a threat!
This is just my opinion... but if you are bi & have the idea to scratch an itch by being with someone of your own gender & I am not into it, then you really ought to do me a favor & leave. You see to me, this would be the same thing as having an affair without consent. And if I gave you consent to step out, then I too get to do the same thing but with someone of the opposite sex. Remember, it's just to scratch an itch cause I think the guy over there is HOT! (no offense) - does this help you out any? If you are wanting a lasting relationship then be the type of person who wants the same thing they can give. If your guy is into swinging... then by all means, swing!
2007-09-04 09:09:35 · answer #3 · answered by T. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is always the best policy. In the long run, you will be miserable in life if you can't be who you are and love the people that you love (just like a man who is gay and marries pretending he can be like all other men...and has kids and then 25yrs later 'comes out'). I bet your B/F would rather know and it's only fair for him to make an informed decision.
2007-09-04 09:07:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to take a step back and ask yourself why you want to tell him this. Is it because you want him to know who you are, or because you want to have a three-way with him and his ex? Or because you want the freedom to date girls for a while? All those are valid reasons, but you do need to know what your objective is here.
If you do tell him, you need to be ready to deal with any concerns he might have, the cheif one probably being, "are you going to leave me for a woman?"
The good news is that quite often, men find female bisexuality to be very hot and welcome it. Although that can also be a problem if he fixates on how hot it would be to watch you do another girl/have a three-way, and you aren't interested in that.
2007-09-04 09:08:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I already know you are going to get alot of dumb responses, please don't pay attention to them. That said, what you need to do is to be honest with him. I know you are afraid, but, look at it this way, do you want him to love you for who you are, or whom he wants you to be? there is nothing wrong with being bisexual. Perhaps, after you experiment, you might even choose one way or the other, but, to deny who you are to yourself or him will only make you miserable and always afraid to be yourself to people you love. Any relationship is based on trust and he deserves to know the truth, but, don't be offended if he asks you about a threesome. He might be curious too. You want him to treat you with respect, truth and honesty, and that can only happen if you are totally honest with you. If he does not accept you, then you are better off being with a guy or a girl, who can accept you for who you are, not just what you want them to see. Look at it this way, if he is a jerk about it, do you really want to make a person who is so close minded happy at your expense? I wouldn't, so, you shouldn't either. Good luck.
2007-09-04 09:07:30 · answer #6 · answered by dancam1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have not had sex with the other girl or with any other girl then your not bisexual. Having thoughts does not make you a bisexual person.
Until you have sexual relations with a girl I would not even hint at telling your boyfriend.
2007-09-04 09:05:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you desire to date women while you are with him? If not, then why mention it? Most of your partners are still going to expect you to be monogamous...unless you're interesting in playing with others while dating your current guy, keep it to yourself. If you want playmates, then be straight with him (no cheating).
Most guys dream of having a bi girlfriend...he may take the news (if you share it) better than you think. You are what's known as a "golden unicorn"...a person of rare and very desirable sexuality (a lot of single guys want you, a lot of bi and lesbian females want you, and a lot of alternative lifestyle couples want you).
2007-09-04 09:04:45 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH he will love you, bring up the subject of a 3some and just talk about it see how he feels about that. If he is up for it try it and then if he likes it, tell him you like it and you want it all the time!! I think he will be freaked! (in a good way)
2007-09-04 09:03:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys are pretty accepting of this. Hence the term "lesbian chic."
But really, you need to find a supportive group in your area to talk to about this, whether or not it includes any current romantic interest.
Don't hand someone your heart until you are aware of the possible negative consequences.
2007-09-04 09:06:49 · answer #10 · answered by R P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋