Do you think it's normal for a boyfriend to give money to his girlfriend?

Question

Constanty? I had a fight with a friend because of it. She gets 200 - 300 $ a week from her rich boyfriend and finds that normal. I beg to to differ. Plese dont be judgemental and dont insult.

Ok, I am not jealous lets make this thing clear. And I live in Eastern Europe, where 800 $ is a lot of money ( for instance, this is my pay check for 2 months). She is not asking for the money, and he is rich. The problem is that I am afraid she is being caught in this net. She has no future plans with this one, but she is looking for a guy with momey to be her next bf. I am worried because with her exes she used to pay Dutch everytime. So, this sudden change is strange

And its not the gifts that I have a problem with, I love getting those as wekk. I just find it odd that he pays her in cash. It is somehow insulting to me.

Yes, she needs the money. No, they dont love each other.

I am not jealous, my man wants to give me money as well, but I am too proud to accept it, after all we are suppose to be independent women, right?
There is one thing to buy flowers and gifts, but cash money .. dunno , sounds tacky to me.
Plus, she has no job, and she stopped looking for one when she met him. And what will happen when he leaves her to find the next pretty face? She will have no income then

Answer 1

I never received money from previous boyfriends (not that they never offered....they all did I just wouldn't take it, I think it would have made me feel dirty and it would have cheapened the relationships)

and never received any before my man became my husband I always had my own.

Sounds like he is using his money to buy her attention and affection and she is using him for his money.

So to answer your question no I don't think it is normal or right and good for you for having a good head on your shoulders and being smart enough to know whats right and wrong.

Answer 2

Normal? I guess that depends on how you look at it. No, in the sense that most boyfriends, rich or poor, do not give their girlfriends allowances. Yes, in the sense that many boyfriends spoil their girlfriends with gifts, and you could argue that an allowance is a gift.

Normal or not isn't relative. I think the better question is whether or not it is a good thing to do. I say no. The boyfriend runs the risk of spoiling his girlfriend (if she isn't already) and underwriting a "gold-digger" mentality, thus causing and/or continuing a whole myriad of bad behavior that will ultimately damage the relationship. In addition, why would anyone want to buy another's affection? Sounds cheap to me.

Answer 3

As long as the giving is not by force then, I do not see the problem to be honest. However, now that we live in the 21C it would be naive of us to think that girlfriends shouldn't give boyfriends money either. Seeing as we do go on about equality. I share the mentality that if i go out with someone, whatever I earn is also theirs and vice versa. Obviously that doesn't apply if I have only been with them for lets say 4 months. After about 6 months, I would say that the exchange of money - if for the right reasons, is not a problem at all!!!!! Your friend, if her fella has the money to give her then, he obviously has the right to do so. Maybe to him $200 (around £100) is the same as £50 (around $100) to us. Everyone, stands divided on what they think is a reasonable amount of money i guess. If you have the money, earned it legally and are willing to give it away without blackmailing the other party, then... why not?

Answer 4

Sounds like it's for services rendered...it's one thing to give your girl $50 for fun-shopping once in a while, but to make a regular payment [which this appears to me is just that] is putting her in a category she may not believe she's in. Yet. Scenario for the future may include: breaking up with him? Ugly time. Rich dudes always call the shots, set the price, exact the reward and go sideways [or worse] when the girl walks away...or tries to. A really decent rich guy springs for gifts and the occasional shopping spree...but not often, and always only for special occasions like birthdays and holidays. Basically, your friend is on his payroll...so get the phone number for a woman's shelter for her, she may need it! Be a good listener for her, fight or no fight...she may need a pal when she figures it all out.

Answer 5

If she is in some financial need that he knows of that might be one thing

but most likely if he is paying her that much in his mind he is getting the girl friend free - it is the money that is her boyfriend
meaning since he is paying money he is not otherwise obligated emotionally
he may even be obligated elsewhere like with wife and kids

he aint no 'Player" he is a "User"

I am also willing to believe that she is hot with a good presentation and thinks she is worth the money if she is taking it

meaning she is the 'Player' and has found herself a 'User'

so they are most likely both playing the same delusional game
if it is what they want to do as adults - it is their choice I would say

Answer 6

My thought is, he has it to give or he would not be giving it. In a relationship a women my buy gifts or give money so what is the difference if a man does. You said he's rich so he may like nice things and want his women to have nice thing and know she cannot afford it. I dont jump to say he is buying her affection because that could possible be not the case. If Ur friend is into him and he is into her then that all that matter.

Answer 7

If your friend and her boyfriend don't have a problem with him giving her money then you shouldn't. Granted you and alot of other people will have problems with this. If I earned enough money to help out someone I was seeing I wouldn't either. But like most people $200 - $300 a week is not within my fiscal means. Be happy for friend that she has meet someone who cares for her and can help her out. Even if she does or doesn't need the money.

Answer 8

Thats not normal...that to me seems like someone who is using a man more then actually being with him...a man pay for dinner yup sometimes...maybe buy her gifts on birthday or special occasion yup..but just hand out 200 300 dollars that to me is NOT normal ive never known anyone in that type of relationship.

Answer 9

Hhhmmm...it's interesting!! It really depends on what the relation between the 2 people is. If it looks more like your friend is receiving an allowance from her BF then that's inappropriate. And if that's happening and she's enjoying it then it is not normal. But if theirs is a relationship of genuine concern then I believe it's normal.

Answer 10

No, I don't find it "normal" but if the guy has the money and wants to treat his gf, that's his business.

I've never ever had a bf give me money, nor would I expect it, and depending on the circumstances I may or may not accept it (I make my own $$ and don't want to be obligated to someone else).

Answer 11

Yes it is Normal, but it is not smart. I wouldn't want to be dependent on someone else for my money flow. It gives that person too much control. Doesn't your friend want to be self sustaining with the ability to stand on her own two feet? Her boyfriend must realize that it gives him power over her. It also takes away her motivation to earn that money for herself. If he ever drops her, she won't have anything to show for it accept a lack of ambition and the inability to do things for herself.