Well, me and my husband are building house and my brother does custom cabinents. well we got a bid from him and another place. I really like the cabinents from the other place and my brother has been doing cabinents now for about a year and doesnt do some of the things I want in my kitchen. and the styles he does are not the same as what I had picked out at the other cabinent shop. So he could make different ones and I like them but i like the other ones too. what would you do or say if you wanted to go through the other place to get them. I dont want to hurt his feelings but I really like the other ones more? Would you just go with him or tell him you want to go with someone else.
2007-09-04 07:46:15 · 6 answers · asked by anonymous 4 in Home & Garden ➔ Decorating & Remodeling
After being in the design business for over 30 years, there is one thing we've learned, we don't do business with family or friends. Unfortunately, it generally does not work to either our or our client's benefit. As much as you might like giving your brother the job to build his portfolio, a house is your major investment of a lifetime and you must do what is in your own best interest and your family's. In this case, it is a taste preference and you must decide which you prefer. If it is using another vendor, be honest and tell him why it is your choice in a non-threatening, non-confrontive and non-offensive manner. You will grow to resent him and the cabinets if you install the ones he made merely to save his feelings in the long run. Besides, if he is a professional cabinet maker he won't take it personally. Best of luck on your house building project.
2007-09-04 08:18:22 · answer #1 · answered by eskie lover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the end of the day this is your house and the kitchen is the most important investment you can make in it.
If the styles are very different and your brother cannot do some of the custom things the other manufacturer can do, you may need to explain to your brother that it's not his abilities but rather the difference in styles that made you chose the other cabinets.
If he also installs cabinets, maybe you can also find a happy medium where the other place makes the cabinets, but you have your brother install them.
Most kitchen places charge separately for the cabinets and installation, so you might be able to work something out.
Another reason you may not want your brother do to your cabinets:
No matter how well you plan or prepare, there is a 90% chance that there will be some problems when you do your kitchen. And you really don't want to have to yell at your family member. It can quickly lead to bad blood.
Even if it's hard to tell him now that you're going to get your cabinets from somewhere else, you may actually wind up with more harmony than if he did them and you're not happy with the way the kitchen looks in the end.
I've just redone my kitchen and my boyfriend and my dad installed the cabinets. There were problems. And my kitchen still isn't finished. If you have a contractor, you can hold him to a timeframe and you can rip him a new one if the cabinets aren't exactly to fit or if the color is off. If it's family, you're screwed.
It's a tough choice and I don't envy you, but you need to make yourself happy first. Maybe you can also have him build cabinets for other places in your house - bathroom vanities, built-ins for the living room....
You'll figure it out ;)
2007-09-04 15:05:05 · answer #2 · answered by xajide 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will be your house and your kitchen. You certainly shouldn't settle for something you don't want. Tell your brother that you chose the other bidder and why as you explained here. You should always look at multiple design choices and 2 or 3 bids and if he's in the business, he should know it's the right thing to do. It would be a problem, however, if you led him to believe he had the job and then took other bids.
2007-09-04 14:57:41 · answer #3 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother has already volunteered that he doesn't (yet) have the experience to do some of the complicated special touches you desire.
You should tell him what you explained here -- and suggest that he observe (or volunteer to help) the hired contractor and LEARN to do the special pieces. He'll benefit from some new experience, feel like he was part of the process. If your contractor can offer a labor discount for having a professional (although modestly experienced) crew member, even better.
If nothing else, your brother may make a valuable contact for a future job opportunity. It has been known to happen!
2007-09-04 23:06:56 · answer #4 · answered by Sue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you can buy the cabinets you like and your brother can do the installation. Just discuss this with him and explain how you feel.
2007-09-04 15:03:00 · answer #5 · answered by Parercut Faint 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't lie - it would be better in the long run if you don't lie.
Good luck to you.........
2007-09-04 14:54:42 · answer #6 · answered by flowerpet56 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋