How do I break the news to my children? Please help!?

Question

After taking the girls to school this morning, I came home and found our dog dead in our house. This is a very sad situation. We adopted Dottie (our dog) 5 years ago when she was 4-5 years old. She died of an autoimmune disease. We have already taken her body to the vet to have her cremated. How do I break this devastating news to my children who are only 12 and 8 years old. She's our very first dog that passed away.

Answer 1

Explain it to them nicely and hows she's in a better place now. You could even tell them the story of Rainbow Bridge, it always helps make me feel better thinking of it. If you don't know it, here it is. When a pet that you love very much, passes on, they travel over the Rainbow Bridge. Once they get over this bridge, they are made happy and healthy again, restored to thier more youthful days. Here they will wait, with unlimited food and rolling pastures with all the other pets, for thier masters to come get and get them. They will wait there, happy and healthy until you pass, at which time, you will be reunited at last. There you can spend eternity together, being happy and healthy.
Even if you don't believe this story, it will help comfort the kidds, thinking that thier Dottie is happy waiting for them to be reunited.

Answer 2

If there hasn't been a death in your family that you've had to explain to your children, then now is a good time to do so. Tell them the dog has died. Don't ever say she went away, or ran away, or was 'called home' or anything confusing like that. Children need to understand the reality of death- not wonder if everyone is just going to wander out of their lives and leave unanswered questions. Don't try to soften the situation- children accept tough lessons easier than you think.

DO let the children know that the dog is now free of pain. If your religious beliefs are such, let them know that the dog is in a wonderful place where she will run and play with all the other loved pets and that she will wait faithfully there until her whole family will once again be reunited in heaven. Let the children know that the dog knew how much she was loved and that she didn't suffer when she died. (even if you think she may have been in pain, this is a small sin of omission)
Have an elaborate funeral for the dog- even if you're only burying an urn or ashes- let the kids pin pictures of her to the grave marker and talk about their favorite memory. This also helps them to express their feelings about her loss.

If the children begin to question their own mortality, now is a good time to educate them to the lifespan of people vs. pets and reassure them that they are going to live for a long time. It will be normal for them to be frightened of death, but if you are gentle and understanding, they will come to the acceptance that all of us eventually do.

Also, although it may be hard for you, some children do benefit from a new pet to love right away. You must discuss this with your entire family, but if you think the children will be helped, be prepared to adopt another dog to ease their grief.

There are several excellent books out for children that deal with pet loss. I wish I could think of the titles and be more specific, but I have seen several at Barnes & Noble. Good luck and I'm sorry for your loss.

Answer 3

This sounds more like a question you will need to ask yourself. We can make suggestions all day long, but these are your children. Do you want to fib, stretch the truth, or be brutally honest?

I think the best thing you can do for your kids is to be honest with them. Tell your kids that their dog was very ill, just like (and use an example of someone who passed close to your family from a disease, if you had anyone). But it's okay because now Dottie is in Heaven with God and even have your children write God a letter to take care of Dottie until they get there to take care of her again.

Answer 4

Oh my gosh. I am so, so sorry. I suggest going to your local bookstore (or funeral home) and picking up a book on how to speak to children about death. There are certain things you should not say such as "Dotti was sick and went to heaven" because the child may think that whenever anybody is sick, that person will go to heaven. I am sure a fuinerl home, a vets office, or a bookstore will have all of the appropriate info for you.

A nice touch would be to go to home depot and pick up a tree. let your girls help you plant it in Dottie's memories. Although healing takes time, your girls will never forget Dottie and will be able to remember her with that tree. Gifts and flowers can be lade near it and the girls can deorate it for different holidays to give them the feeling that Dottie is still with them in spirit.

Best of luck and again I am so, so sorry to hear of your loss.

Answer 5

That's so sad! I hope your children knew that the dog was going to die soon? That would have been most helpful to being with. If not, I would just come right out and tell them after the have come home from school. Give them time to cry or grieve, and later softly let them know homework will need to be done but maybe the chores can wait till the next day. They are old enough to understand death.

Answer 6

I'll tell you what worked for me when my 18 year old Scottie-Poo dies when I was 10. Go to the video store and rent a movie called "All Dogs Go To Heaven." It's a cute little animated movie about lovable little dogs and it puts a happy spin on passing away that young children can relate to. Make it seem like a reward your doggie got for being so good.

Answer 7

Well, personally I believe it would have been necessary for them to see the dog dead as part of a funeral. They are definitely old enough to have to understand the nature of death. Otherwise, just tell them and grieve with them, share memories, and when its buried and dealt with, start talking about getting a new dog (if you want one). Death is an inevitable part of life.

My family had a dog die on us when I was 11 while I was at school, he was a great dog and my mother still misses him (I am 24 now). I kinda miss him too. They decided to bury him while I was at school and I kinda regret that. I would have liked to be there for when he was buried.

Answer 8

Aw Wow, I'm so sorry.

My friend just had to explain to her toddler that his puppy went over the rainbow bridge.

Someone actually hit and killed the dog in front of their house (and they kept going), but rather than explain in details, she told her son that Maxi, "had and accident and went over the rainbow bridge."

Children are much more resilient than we give them credit for. Also, one thing that I learned from my friend...when she was young her dog died and her dad told her that he ran away and maybe he'd come home.

He didn't have the heart to tell her the truth, but he let it slip out when she was about 23 and she had a difficult time forgiving him, because she always wondered what happened to her "snowflake."

Answer 9

surpassed off in basic terms up the line from me. the section is extremely usually happening with households jogging and enjoying the geographical area. that is such a tragedy and we are all shocked. The police are not saying something approximately it. in spite of the fact that it may seem that the daddy has tried to kill himself besides in spite of the fact that the police arrived and have been given him to well-being center in time.

Answer 10

I had a similar thing happen. I just told my daughters the truth and said that to honor her memory, we can go to the pound and save another life. And that is exactly what we did. It took the edge off the death for the kids when we went to the pound the same day. (It killed me though.) I didn't regret it.