I dont think I'm a nice person. I want to be, but I say things spontaneously that I regret. What do I do? How do I get better? Can everyone become a nice person if they want to?
2007-09-04 05:08:53 · 16 answers · asked by sclark977 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Straight talking never killed any one ,the only ones that are offended are the people that can`t take the truth or the truth hurts,
If you feel you should try and change ,then try before you answer or say some thing put your self in their shoes and see how you like to be spoken to or would like to hear
You can become a nicer person but are you being honest with your self and are you willing to suppress things to save offence
2007-09-04 05:20:21 · answer #1 · answered by kevinmccleanblack 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are a nice person.
Since I don't know you at all, I am going to offer a few pieces of advice to use or not based on your experiences.
1. Think before you speak. There are times when you just want to give some a piece of your mind. Stop and think about the consequences. How would you like to be treated?
2. Give compliments more than criticism. Tell someone they look nice or if you are in a working environment- give a pat on the back to someone who has worked hard on a project.
If you are in school, let your classmates know you have noticed they are working especially hard and they are doing a good job.
3. You may want to seek counseling- feeling badly about past experiences may be the result of some "issues" you need to work out. Perhaps a qualified counselor can help you.
The journey begins with the first step. Good luck.
2007-09-04 05:15:52 · answer #2 · answered by Daisy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to train your filter. Everyone has what I like to call a "filter". Your brain thinks something up and it doesn't go through the speech filter before it comes out of your mouth. Don't feel bad, a lot of people don't have a filter or haven't trained it yet. All you need to do is train yourself to think about what you're going to say before you say it. Run it through your thoughts a couple of times, make sure it won't offend anyone, and then speak. I have to do this too, not only to filter what I'm going to say, but also because I have a tendency to stutter if I don't think about what I'm going to say before I say it.
Good luck!
2007-09-04 05:15:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's a lady at that I work with who used to be hard to talk to because she rarely had anything nice to say. I think someone called her on it because now in meetings she makes and effort to keep her mouth shut and to compliment everyone on at least one thing before the meeting is over. I think that's definately a great way to get started.
2007-09-04 05:18:59 · answer #4 · answered by mrskerlin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think everyone does that. Treat people the way you want to be treated and if something just comes out, apologize. I want to improve on this too. Good luck. By the way, you're a nice enough person if you're willing to change:)
2007-09-04 05:14:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course the first step is to force yourself to think before speaking. Think about whether it is really necessary to say what you are thinking. While I hate to let people get away with being jerks or rude or wrong, I usually find it does me no good to call them on it. Of course, that doesn't mean let people walk all over you, but stop and think about what you want to say before it comes out of your mouth. If it is negative and unnecessary, best to just not say it. Try to find something positive in the situation to comment on instead.
2007-09-04 05:13:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is really difficult to change the way we are, if you set your mind on saying nice things, and constantly think before you speak, you might make it.
Ask your family and friends to help you and to understand you when you blurt out something offensive.
You can do it, it just takes time, patience and help.
2007-09-04 05:14:52 · answer #7 · answered by Freedom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do this all the time I say stupid, insulting things and I get people hurt I get into trouble it happened a lot in high school. Well I just learned that the best thing to do was ignore them and I don't need to say anything to them. I just learned to keep my mouth shut.
2007-09-04 05:19:15 · answer #8 · answered by That Person 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to work on it. If it doesn't come naturally you will have to be constantly on your guard. Think positive thoughts instead of negative. Be grateful for people and things instead of taking them for granted. Realize that you are not the only person that counts. Walk a mile in someone elses shoes and try to feel some compassion. Jesus said: Love your neighbor as you would love yourself. Maybe you need to work on the man in the mirror first. Learn to love yourself. You were "fearfully and wonderfully made"(from the bible). I hope you can learn to hold your tongue and think before you speak. Read Matthew Mark Luke and John in the new testament of the bible. Jesus has many good learning lessons on how to be a better more loving person. Good luck and thank you for being so honest and vulnerable.
2007-09-04 05:17:27 · answer #9 · answered by Kaliko 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
YEAH, it's a hard habit but set up "filters in your mind" ask yourself befor you speak it
will this upset the person? will this person benifit from what i'm about to say?
Thinking before you speak is hard I don't care what anyone says if your use to just speaking your mind then toning it down to thought first is hard!
but yes anyone can do it it just takes work and practice!
so don't be to hard on yourself!
2007-09-04 05:45:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋