Would you consider it an insult?

Question

Supposing you were in a worse financial position than your partner, would you be insulted if you were asked to sign a pre-nup?

Um, people seem to be thinking I'm the one signing. It's the other way around.

Answer 1

No, I would not consider it an insult. Pre-nups are intended to protect the assets of BOTH parties. It simply addresses who is entitled to what IF the marriage deintergrates. If the marriage is successful, this shouldn't be a problem.

Answer 2

No. My husband and I discussed a pre-nup, and saw an attorney about it. And yes, I was in a "worse" financial position - as opposed to my husband, I didn't own a house or a business, and while I had some savings, it wasn't much. After talking to the attorney, tho, and sharing our concerns, it turned out that everything we were concerned about was already covered under the standard divorce laws. So we bypassed the whole pre-nup idea. But no, I was not offended, it was a practical thing to consider. And a big part of what I love about my husband is his common sense, practicality, and an ability to separate his emotions from the real-life concerns.

Answer 3

No I wouldn't! I think it also benefits you as well as the other person. I have seen way to many friends go through divorce and end up with more debit then they had before. This not only protects you if any thing should go wrong but you also have to look at it from there view. If they have no financial problems and all of sudden they are suppose to take on what you had before them in a case of divorce it will make it much harder on the both of you. I say protect your self, sign away as long as you agree with whats on the pre-nup. Best wishes and good luck. I hope I helped.

Answer 4

It really depends on the situation.

For instance, if one or both of us had chilren from a previous relationship, I'd be the one insisting on the pre-nup so as to assure the kids that their inheritance wouldn't be affected by the new marriage.

Or if I was marrying into a family with a long history of serious wealth and a lot of ancestral properties, I wouldn't be too offended at being asked to sign a pre-nup...though I'd be darn sure I consulted a good lawyer before signing.

But if there are no children to be considered and no major familial assets on either side, yes, I think I might well be a bit insulted.

Answer 5

I think pre-nups are a good way to cover yourself financially if you have a lot of assets to protect. I would use it only to cover what you both had before the marriage and then let everything you accumulate together after the wedding be split 50/50 if for some reason the marriage doesn't work. With an over 50% divorce rate it is a smart thing to do. No one goes into a marriage thinking it won't work but yet 1/2 don't.

Answer 6

FWIW, I'm in your situation, and my fiance is not the slightest bit insulted I asked him to sign a pre-nup. I decided even before I met him that I'd ask any guy I married to sign one. It's financial common sense and a type of "insurance policy" one will hopefully never need. The pre-nup will be completely fair to him. As the partner with more money, I'm quite generous with him, and even bought him a car and whole new wardrobe. But he understands the need for one, as financial common sense. I completely trust him, and he's great with money, both in terms of investing and not being spendy.

I suspect a guy would be less insulted to sign one than a woman, who is more likely to assign it all sorts of nefarious meanings and omens, rather than as a simple insurance policy.

P.S. I completely disagree that acknowledging the possibility of divorce makes it more likely. We make a point of working on our relationship all the time and doing nice things for each other. If I fly in a plane with a parachute, it doesn't make it more likely that I'll crash the plane. One can still be a great pilot, even if one knows there's a parachute in the plane.

Answer 7

sort of.... to me it seems like there is a part of you that distrusts your soon-to-be partner. I think it's always a good thing to plan ahead, but I don't think anyone ever gets married thinking they may eventually get divorced. It really depends on the person, their feelings about it, and the circumstances. Also, if there is a HUGE difference in financial situations, then that would make for a better case. For example; Britney Spears + Kevin Federline. How could she not sign a prenump?

I can't help but think of that movie 'Diary of a Mad Black Woman' where the successful attorney husband kicks his wife out after 18 yrs of marriage because he's moving his girlfriend in. The wife never had a job other than being a housewife--cooking, cleaning, etc. and she signed a pre-nump. She was screwed.

Good luck on your decision.

Answer 8

If money mattered more than love and commitment, then I wouldn't sign a pre-nup. The point of a pre-nup is to merely separate estates/assets prior to getting married.

If money matters so much to the other person that they won't sign, then its probably a good sign that they are putting your love and commitment to each other first and that they really want your wealth before everything else.

Answer 9

My fiance and I signed a pre-nup but we were both married before. We each feel it's very fair. We are not having children together - so we don't have to take that into consideration. A pre-nup should be a document that is fair and typically dealing with property prior to the marriage.

Answer 10

I would probably be a bit insulted. Now, if I owned my own property, business, etc, prior to getting married then yes, I might ask my fiance to sign a pre-nup (or agree to signing one if it was the other way around). But, although my bf makes more money than I do, it's not SO much more than he'd have to worry about me making a lot of money off a divorce.

So if he asked me to sign one now, then yes, I'd probably be a bit upset. I don't think insulted would be the right word, though. I'd be disappointed and perhaps a bit heartbroken...

If you want to ask your fiance to sign one, go ahead. But, make sure it's worth it in regards to your current assets.

Answer 11

I am in the exact same situation as you. Im the female and I wanted a pre-nup. I am coming into the marriage with a lot and my fiance is coming into the marriage with a lot less. I talked to him about it and he was/is completely ok with it. We dont ever expect to get divorced but G-d forbid we do, I want to make sure that I do not lose half of everything I have built up to this point.