Who thinks spanking is the best way to go or not and why?

Question

A simple Pro and Con (Im a father of two with one on the way)and im curious what people think

Answer 1

Short answer: I'm pro-spanking.

Long answer: Just b/c I do spank doesn't mean I spank *all the time.* Spanking is to be used only for major infractions, and only for children age 1-5. Before that, the child is too little to understand and after, the child should be subjected to other, more age-appropriate forms of discipline. Spanking should NEVER be done when angry - that's abuse. The child should ALWAYS be warned that a spanking will occur if the negative, potentially harmful behavior does not stop. If the child continues to misbehave, then the parent needs to sit with the child and calmly explain that the consequences of his/her actions were given to the child, and the child chose to continue using inappropriate behavior. Then, and only then, should the child be spanked. Afterward, the parent should comfort the child and explain that a spanking does not mean the child is not loved, but that the parent is trying to teach the child that sometimes wildly inappropriate behavior has severe consequences.

Answer 2

To be honest, I think it depends on the child and what the parents feel comfortable with. My oldest son, he's 5, is very well behaved and always has been. Usually an authorative voice straightens him out, when needed, but like I said he's more like an adult in a 5 year olds body. I can reason with him and he understands. On the other hand I have a 4 year old who does get a swat on the bottom once in a while, and it is effective in stopping whatever it is he's doing that he isn't supposed to be. I think spanking is effective for some children. There is a difference in beating and spanking and apparently there are some people who can't see this difference. There seems to be all this new age hippie time out crap, and that does not work with every kid. Sometimes a good swat is what kids need. Have you noticed all the bad behavior in kids today? IMO that's the ones who's parents just say no no and look the other way. You need to decide what you fell comfortable doing.

Answer 3

Of course not. Spanking is what lazy parents substitute for discipline. Even those who say they use it only as a last resort are often wrong. telling a child something 15 times and then spanking, is not a last resort.

Where is the talking about it. the time out, the grounding, the revoking of privilege or the extra chores? The writing of lines, or a report, or the loss of allowance?

Why do adults think the hitting of children, and calling it by"Cute" names like spanking, smacking, popping or swatting does NOT change the fact that you are, indeed, committing an assault on your child, can possibly be a good idea?

Answer 4

I believe in spanking when it comes to issues of safety. I don't believe in spanking for most other problems. But if you're child runs out in the middle of the road, tries to open a hot oven, jumps up and down on a table, or something else that is potentially dangerous, I think you're in a position where you HAVE to get the point of No across. I think a firm (but not violent or hurting) spanking at the immediate moment of the action does well.

I think time outs and taking away privileges are adequate for most other discipline issues. These are usually social issues and therefore the child can make these mistakes a few extra times without causing physical harm to themselves.

Answer 5

I do not agree with spanking. First of all, if you are trying to teach your child not to handle their problems physically by hitting, what are you teaching them by spanking? The parent is the model for a child's behavior, and if the parent is hitting, what does that teach the child?

When it's used excessively, the child becomes fearful of the parent. No discipline method is perfect, but spanking sends mixed messages to the child: "I'm the adult, therefore I can hit you". That makes no sense. I personally believe that kids deserve respect too, and spanking is the most disrespectful discipline method there is. It is enforcing the idea that hitting should be used to get a point across.

Spanking doesn't teach the child anything. When you create an atmosphere of fear for your child, they are no longer learning from you. Spanking doesn't teach the child an effective method of handling conflict. It teaches them to react to conflict by using physical means and anger.

I resent the implication that kids will be hellions if you don't spank them. I have nannied for over 20 families, and the children who were not spanked were polite and well-behaved. The important thing is being consistent with discipline, whatever you choose.

Answer 6

Ive never spanked my child and he is a wonderful, well behaved child. Spanking works for some but not all children. I think its stupid to spank a baby or toddler. They have only been on this earth for a very short time and besides that fact they dont know why mommy or daddy is hitting them at that age. Ive know some families that do and some that dont, so to each their own I guess, but it just something that I dont want to do to my child.

Answer 7

It is ignorance to believe that making a child feel badly will cause them to behave better. If you do choose to spank, you won't be alone, 70% of parents admit to using spanking as a form of discipline. I am one of the ones who don't spank. I get ridiculed because I don't choose to hit my children. People blame all the bad kids on the parents who don't spank, but in reality, way more people spank than those who don't. I have a degree in Early Childhood, and because of what I've learned in college and at the center I choose not to spank. Here are a list of reasons why, that way people can be sure to give me my 100 thumbs down on this answer...
1. It causes resentment.
2. I don't promote violence. It is never okay to hit.
3. A child can't defend themselves. It's like a man hitting a woman.
4. Most mistakes children make, all children make. It is developmentally appropriate for a two year old to have temper tantrums, it's natural it's like a teen having hormones. It happens to all children, they should not be punished for human nature.
5. I find more creative discipline to be much more beneficial. I use love & logic which is an awesome theory and I put a link to a site about it in my sources. Everyone should check it out because I find it so helpful to me in teaching my child important life lessons.
6. I love my children, and I'm a softie. I am just really laid back, and the only reason I punish my children is if they are hurting them selves or someone else. I really don't care what other people think about me, and that gives me an advantage.
7. I want the abuse in my family to stop, and I want to be an example to other parents out there. Everyone in my family was spanked as a child, and they all think I'm crazy and that my kid is going to grow up and be some psycho killer because I didn't beat it out of him. They are actually really surprised that he behaves much better than other children his age. Just because your parents did it, doesn't mean you have to do it.

Those are a few reasons I'm against spanking. I know I am the minority, but I hope that changes one day because all the research out there proves that spanking is not beneficial to children's well beings. Oh, and to all of you out there who won't try to see the other side for your child's beneift, go ahead and give me a thumb's down, your opinion on the issue really doesn't matter to me. This is one of those things where I just know I'm right. Have you done your research?

Answer 8

spanking only worked on my son until he was about three. we new it was time for a different method when he turned to his father after a spanking and said, "see dad, i didn't cry." i have nothing against spanking but on some kids it just isn't effective. its momentarily painful but there are no lasting consequences. children for the most part learn to adapt to the pain. with my son (he's 8 now) the most effective punishments are taking away privileges like tv, playing with his toys, etc. you just have to find out which works the best for you and every child is different. what works for one may not have any effect on the other. for example when i was young all my parents had to do was raise their voice but with my brother that didn't even phase him. so if spanking is effective for you and you can control it so your not beating them in anger then use it. if it doesn't work for one or more of your children experiment until you find a method that works.

Answer 9

coming from a girl that had a father that seriously beat her all the time.
Spanking it ok to a certain extent.
If you hit to hard or leave any mark of a any kind....I would not feel bad calling you a bad parent.
You dont leave marks. Its bad.
Spanking will only work till they are about 4 or 5. If you continue from there, it starts to get to your child.
And another thing. As "painful" as parents say it is, if you have enough backbone to hit your child for something, then use your own god damn hand! NO belts! NO wooden spoons! NO paddles or anything!!!

Answer 10

I am not against spankin totally, but sometimes an autorative voice and time out is all you need. Showing who is in charge does not have to be physical at all. (Try not to Yell either)
Remember no tantrum is going to put them in charge. YOU are still the parent. I would use spanking as a last resort when they go directly against orders. This means that they are probably a bit older by then so definatly not todlers.