Am I a bad parent??

Question

i have a 10 year old step son that we have every weekend. he is a great kid but never listens. he gets in trouble at school all the time for hitting other kids. this past weekend i took him to a family picnic at my parents house. he was so bad and argued with me about everything. i ended up screaming at him and told him he is driving me nuts. now i feel awful, was that wrong to yell so much? i later told him i was sorry and he was fine with it. but now i feel guilty. i just want him to realize he can't act the way he does and get in no trouble. should i feel guilty for yelling at him and telling him he is making me crazy?

Answer 1

ur bad , bad bad bad bad parents u shouldent be parenting ever again. c,p,s c,p,s i say bad bad bad parents

Answer 2

It must be very difficult for you as the step parent of this young boy.It has to be frustrating when you are trying to be understanding and you've reached your limit.Your reaction may not have been the best but I'd say it was very human.What did your husband do or say to help to bring this situation under control.You must work together to let this boy know he is loved.Maybe he feels angry and/or confused about the divorce of his parents?Maybe he would benefit from some councelling if he is having issues not only in your care but at school and with his mother.Sometimes children do not know how to handle their feelings and act out.There has been the mentality that boys and men are tough and do not show their feelings of sadness or fear.Maybe he just needs to be reassured that everything will be ok.( It will be different but he will still have parents who love him.I'm assuming his mother is not saying anything negative about you or your husband to the boy).You feel guilty because you feel that you should not have shouted at your step-son.He will know you care and you said you were sorry.He will know that you aren't perfect and that you are trying your best.I can almost guarantee he was expecting you to react.The positive of this situation is that you both were talking and that is always a positive.Good luck and take care.

Answer 3

Not really guilty, Step kids are hard to deal with! it's very diffrent "playing mom" everyother weekend and from the sounds of it the bio mom isn't much help either. If you need to just talk about everything i have included a website to go to, once you do go to groups and look up unfit biomoms. It's great there you can say what you want without feeling guilty and it won't build up against the child

Answer 4

Your spouse needs to step in here. One of the biggest debates oIver the years has been that divorced parents often do not discipline their children becasue of the guilt. Same goes for spoling them rotten with toys and other material objects.
As far as yelling at him, maybe it was not right to yell at him in front of everyone but I have to imagine it was just out of frustration. Although frustration is not a reason to yell sometimes frustration gets the best of you.
Does he act the same with at home? Does he have signs of ADD/ADHD that have gone unnoticed? He may just be acting out of anger. He could be mad that his parents are moving on with other people and he does not want that. Perhaps some counseling is in order?

Answer 5

Where are his parents? Sorry, but I don't consider a step-parent a parent (more like a guardian or a nanny, unless you've adopted him). You should discuss this with his Mother (if she is around and not on drugs) and his Father and look to them for methods of acceptable discipline when the bad behavior happens. Sounds to me like he is reacting out of inconsistent discipline. Yelling at him (in front of others or alone) teaches him to do the same.

Answer 6

Kids are alot of work, and there are many ways to reach out and get to them in order to get them to behave. I dont agree with what you did personally, but it could have been alot worse. I am a single father of 2 kids that I have custody of, it has been a challange to say the least, they are 10 and 8. Here is how I do it.....I let them know how DISAPPOINTED I am in them, and that I really expected more from them because they are smart and know better. I NEVER tell them i am mad at them or angry with them. If they feel they have let you down it really hurts them inside. I always ask them what I did wrong and what I can do to help them, and turn the tables on them by reaching out to them in thier mind and heart. You have to put the ball in his court and treat him like a human being and not an object, work on his emotions....

Answer 7

No. Don't feel guilty. He needs to realize that his actions are inappropriate and he needs to learn to behave in public and elsewhere. It sounds like his mom just lets things slide so he acts up when he doesn't get his way. Try not to yell too much or he will just ignore you, but raising your voice once in a while will get his attention.

Answer 8

All parents get to the point of hollering...this does not make you a bad parent! All children need disapline. Now if you said bad hurtful things when you were mad, you need to apolagize about that but for the hollering it is fine it shows how his actions effect how other people feel..

Answer 9

Things like this happen all the time.Its part of being a parent.Dont worrie too much now!

Answer 10

well,you should try to be friends with him and approach him differentlyy.you must modivate him to behave nice..maybe you could offer him a present if he improves.dont yell at him again...dont say words ,act.try to speak to him kindly. :)