My boyfriend does NOT have a high demanding job, he does get tired sometimes but he pushes me away when i try and make love to him. I love being so intimate and loving-I am an attractive girl and there are quite a few men chasing me but im going out of my mind! He just isnt satisfying my needs, whether or not i dress up sexily for him or not! I have tried everything!!
2007-09-04 02:29:12 · 26 answers · asked by Kristen W 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am mostly on top! LOL
2007-09-04 02:33:09 · update #1
get over here an ill show you a hell of a ride
2007-09-04 22:43:30 · answer #1 · answered by Bogan Outlaw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was his sex drive high before? If it was high when you and he started out, it is possible its because of his age, however, its probably more likely to be he is either doing it with someone else, or he is masterbating. Either way, he might not be turned on by you anymore.
If you are willing to test him, have a girlfriend hit on him. If he is all for it, then its you. Another suggestion, have a threesome with him. Granted, it wouldn't help much with the relationship, but it would see if he is just bored with you.
If he is still totally into you, then its just that he might not be able to get it up that often. It might be embarassing to him that he can't satisfy you, or that he can't keep up with you.
If you are an attractive girl, yes, you will have guys chase after you. The choice you have to make is whether or not you want to cheat on your current boyfriend, or break up with him, and then go after one of these guys that is chasing you.
Some say he is too old for you, and I call BS on that, because a lot of marriage work when the guy is 15 years older than the girl. So, age has nothing to do with it as far as a relationship. It can affect his sex drive, but 30 is still a little young, but then it could run in his family.
The best thing you could do, talk to him. Ask him if he still wants you. If he doesn't, then you can move on. I wouldn't give up yet, but let him know, if he doesn't satisfy you, you may have to seek assistance elsewhere. Either he will shape up, or he will let you go.
2007-09-04 09:49:45 · answer #2 · answered by George P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have almost the exact same problem. My boyfriend also complains about being tired even though he is in school taking relatively easy classes. If your guy is like mine, he might have a low sex drive, or else he doesn't express his love physically the way you do. You could try talking to him about the fact that you think he's sexy and you want him very badly (hey, a little flattery never hurt!). Also, dropping hints about your other admirers might not be a bad idea, as long as you don't give the impression of serious romantic interest in them. Most guys will increase their attention if another guy moves in; this is known as mate guarding behavior.
Beyond this, it sounds as if you are doing all you can. You make some effort to look sexy for him, but you don't overdo it. I would think that most guys (unless they are dead) would appreciate this. If talking to him doesn't work, then you may want to move on. It sounds as if you both want different things in a relationship, and these are fundamental compatibilities. If you stay with a sexually or physically unresponsive man, you will feel cheated (and may eventually cheat). You deserve someone who'll appreciate you and want your body.
2007-09-04 09:46:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmmm ... several reasons are possible.
1) Does he or you initiate sex? Maybe he gets turned off by the fact that you're always the one inititating things. A lot of men like to be the aggressor.
2) Maybe he has a personal problem you may not be privy to. A problem at work perhaps. Financial problems. Many people forget that the most important sex organ of all is the BRAIN. If one is worried about other things, sex may be the lasy thing on their mind.
3) And this is one you may not want to hear. Maybe he's getting it somewhere else.
It's difficult to keep things interesting in the bedroom. Both parties have to make a concerted effort. COMMUNICATION IS KEY. Talk to him. Tell him to be honest with you as to how you can make him feel good.
And if all else fails, call ME!
:-)
Good luck!
2007-09-04 09:41:08 · answer #4 · answered by realthick1_4_69 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, a girl at the age of 20 is too young for a guy of 30. I'm sorry to say it but it's true. You're just out of your teens and expect certain things out of life that a 30 yr old has already lived through. Dating is probably still a very exciting thing for you while he may be ready to settle down. That being said, if at 30 he really isn't too excited about sex, maybe he has a physical or emotional problem. You may need to just move on. Think about whether you would want to spend the rest of your life married to someone who doesn't meet your needs.
2007-09-04 09:38:04 · answer #5 · answered by kbear 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have a BIG problem. As long as you arent overweight
you should have a nice shape. Try telling your man that you
need Sex. If you dont get it from him you will find someone
else to get it from. That might work. There are some people
that dont need as much sex as others. Its possible that you
are oversexed or a nympho.
2007-09-04 09:37:44 · answer #6 · answered by Jimmy H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. It is not you...it's him.
2. Male sex drive slows down some in the 30's
3. Its normal for one partner to be * higher needs*
You can talk to him about it, but it probably won't change anything.
If your needs are not being met you may want to consider a new partner.
If it is him you really want, you may have to find ways to satisfy yourself when he is not ready , willing or able to.
2007-09-04 09:37:13 · answer #7 · answered by Lilly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with the age difference or you. What is wrong is he is a lazy bum that does not want to satisfy you. You both need to talk about this and work it out. If he is unwilling to work on his sexual performance it is better to break up with him before you end up cheating on him.
2007-09-04 09:41:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Laziness has nothing to do with sex drive. You have a higher sex drive than he does. That is not likely to ever change. Your choices are--learn to live with it, take care of your own needs, or leave the relationship.
2007-09-04 09:35:15 · answer #9 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
North Korea
2007-09-04 09:33:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Break up with him. You're not MARRIED to him, right? Some people's sex drives just don't match.
This is apparently something very important to you, and you're only 20. It's not going to go away for a long time. You should be seeing other people.
2007-09-04 09:32:27 · answer #11 · answered by pufferoo 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋