Ladies, if the engagement is broken off...do you get to keep THE EXPENSIVE ($3-10K) DIAMOND RING?

Question

Or, do you return it back to the unbetrothed man?

If you DO keep it, it is considered as "income" according to Federal Income laws.
Have you ever declared a kept Diamond Engagement ring as "income" for tax purposes on your return?

(this question is prompted by a segment that just appeared on Fox News where their legal analyst, Liz Wiehl, clarified that an Engagement Ring (from a cancelled engagement) that is not returned but, kept by the bride-to-be because she claims it as being "given to her", is "income" and should be declared on her tax return.)

A good point about who gets to keep the ring, depends on who of the two broke off the engagement.

@ Chastons Wifey
Very helpful and informative link.

@ mom of 2
Indeed, the ring is "just a symbol" but it still carries a large monetary value that must be (or, should be) reconciled...right?

(I see 22 Answers - thank you all for your very interesting, albeit varied, opinions).

Just to add mine...it's always been my personal contention that, like many of you have said, the ring is a "promise" to marry, a conditional gift, and if things go awry where the wedding is called off, the ring goes back to the man who purchased it since the wedding is now null and void.
Too bad ALL the States cannot agree on one statute.
A good question: why would the girl want to keep the ring anyway?...except for some spiteful reason.

Answer 1

It depends on which state you live. Each state differs from one another. http://marriage.about.com/od/rings/a/ringreturn.htm

Answer 2

Under the law, the engagement ring is generally treated as a gift. The elements of a legal gift are: (1) the gift-giver's intent to give the item as a gift; (2) the gift-giver's delivery of the gift to the recipient; and (3) the recipient's acceptance of the gift. Gifts, of course, generally become the property of the recipient.

However...

The majority of courts consider an engagement ring to be a "conditional gift." A conditional gift is one in which some future event must occur in order to finalize the gift. In most cases, courts consider the wedding itself to be the future event that must occur in order to finalize the gift of the engagement ring. If the wedding does not take place, if the engagement is broken, the gift does not get finalized, and thus the ring reverts back to the gift-giver. In other words, the ring must be returned.

Recipients often argue that the ring was given as a gift not in contemplation of marriage, but as something else, such as a token of love and affection, or as a memento of a romantic trip to the Caribbean. Others argue that the condition of the gift was not the wedding itself but the acceptance of the proposal. These arguments usually fail.

Courts are in disagreement as to whether "fault" should be taken into consideration when deciding who gets to keep the engagement ring. The majority of courts apply what is commonly referred to as the "fault-based rule." Simply stated, if the man broke the engagement, the woman keeps the ring; if the woman called off the wedding, she must return the ring.

While at first glance this may seem fair, if you delve deeper, the logic does not always work. What if, for instance, the woman's mother is actually the indirect cause of the break-up, though it is the man who officially calls off the ceremony? The courts simply cannot be asked to determine which grounds for breaking an engagement should be considered fault and which are justified.

Thus, there is a trend toward a "no-fault" approach. Simply stated, at the end of an engagement, the ring reverts to the gift-giver regardless of fault. In other words, she has to return the ring no matter what. New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, New Mexico, Wisconsin, Kansas, and Iowa all currently apply the no-fault approach.

I had a friend whose fiance broke off the engagement two weeks before the wedding! They ended up in court over the ring. My friend ended up winning the ring in the lawsuit, actually her parents did, to compensate for all of the wedding expenses (deposit for caterer, flowers, invitations that were already sent out, reception hall deposit, wedding dress & veil, etc.) paid out by them that were non-refundable.

Many people ask why a woman would want to keep the ring. Well, that's a perfect example of why!

Answer 3

This article is to help clear up matters regarding what to do with an engagement ring if the wedding is broken off. Although etiquette rules that an engagement ring should be given back when a wedding is called off regardless of who broke the engagement, the legal system says something else.

Some of the circumstances that determine if an engagement ring has to be returned include the state you live in, how you received the engagement ring, and who broke the engagement. (We are not including if you want to be evil or spiteful in this article)
Conditional Gift States

Many courts look at an engagement ring as a conditional gift that is given in contemplation of marriage. If there is no marriage, then the engagement ring needs to be returned.

Iowa
Kansas
Michigan
New Jersey
New Mexico
New York
Pennsylvania
Wisconsin

The courts also have held in these states that the reasoning for no-fault divorces holds for no-fault broken engagements so an engagement ring should always be returned regardless of who decided to call off the engagement.
Implied Conditional States

In these locales, if the guy breaks the engagement, he won’t get the ring back. If he doesn’t break the engagement, he can request its return.

California

Unconditional Gift States

Other courts have held the belief that an engagement ring is an unconditional gift and so it doesn’t need to be given back.

Montana

Family Heirloom Engagement Rings

If you are considering giving a family heirloom engagement ring, legal experts recommend having a prenuptial agreement that lists who will keep the engagement ring in the event of a break up.
Supreme Court’s findings

Just a few years ago, the Supreme Court of Pennsylvania stuck steadfastly to the no-fault reasoning and decreed that the donor should always get the engagement ring back even if the engagement is broken off, regardless of who broke it off or why. Lindh v. Surman, 742 A.2d 643 (Pa. 1999). Iowa, Kansas, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, and Wisconsin have the same rule.

Conclusion:

It keeps life simple if an engagement ring is returned to the man on condition of break up, regardless of fault. If the woman keeps the ring it will only bring back bad memories when she sees it. If she just throws it away it is an attempt to bring some type fo revenge to the man who originally bought it for her. If you have to return it girls, give the ring back and move on to finding the right guy and forget about the current one.

Answer 4

No.

This has been debated a lot, but the fact remains that legally, the woman is obligated to return the ring if the engagement is broken. It's a gift given with a contingency (the promise of marriage) and if the promise is broken, the ring must be returned.

The only exception to the rule is if the ring is given as a gift on a holiday (i.e., Christmas, birthday, etc.), in which case, it's a gift and the man cannot claim any legal rights to it.

With that said, why would you WANT to keep it?

And I've never heard of having to declare a ring as taxable income. What's next? Itemizing our iPods?

Answer 5

NO, you DO NOT keep the ring unless the GUY says you can.

Simple as that. An engagement ring is a PROMISE to be married. If the engagement is broken off you RETURN the ring to whoever bought it.

The ONLY times you keep the ring is if the guy says to keep it, or you get married and then divorced, or if he cheated on you. The cheater does NOT get the ring.

Answer 6

No. Legally, the engagement ring is consider a "conditional" gift. The condition is "marriage." If there is no marriage, then the conditions of the ring are not satified. You need to return it. As far as federal income tax laws are concerned, even if you were allowed to keep it, you would not claim it. What you do need to do is stop watching TV.

Answer 7

My personal opinion is that in most cases the ring goes back, unless of course the guy says you can keep it. Like you and others have said, it's a promise. A symbol and if what it stands for no longer exists then it should go back.

If however the guy was a creep and caused you emotional distress then you've EARNED the right to do with it what you please including throw it into the river.

Answer 8

I've always heard that it depends upon when the proposal happened. If the ring was given around a gift-giving holiday (birthday, valentine's day, etc) then the ring is seen as a gift. If it is not around a holiday, it is seen as a verbal contract to marriage, so it depends on who is breaking the contract.

I don't think I would want to keep it either way. It would just hurt too much, or if it were me that broke it off, I would feel horrible about keeping it.

Answer 9

Unless stated otherwise the ring should be returned to the fiance. It makes sense that one would have to declare it if you are claiming it to be a gift. The IRS are making celebrities pay taxes on their goodie bags now and I would put an engagement ring in the same category as the little goodie bags stars get.

Answer 10

If the engagement is called off. The appropriate thing to do is return the ring. This is because the ring is a token of a commitment. If there is no longer that commitment......the ring goes back to giver.

Answer 11

I believe the ring should be returned. Even if he was the one who broke off the engagement, I wouldn't want to keep it.

I didn't know about the "income" part of it, but I think it would be pretty hard to prove.