hello i'm a labourer and i hoped to get at least to 40 years of age before having to pack it in. this morning i woke up in agony. my wrists are killing me i have spina bifida by proxy as well so the hairy patch on my spine is driving me nuts. i couldnt make it into work so i had to tell my line manager. i've taken knocks and cracks that would put a person of normal strength in hospital. i feel really sorry for myself today, i dont feel well. i work for an agency and the foreman told me this wednesday was my last day, so why the hell should i bother going across town for another 2 days work. all i've done with most of my working life is labour. and i'm **** scared of having to face reality that all the knocks and cracks have taken their toll on me. i have no friends and i feel like i've let my missus down as well. i'm only 35 the future for me is very bleak. how do i get out of this? any info is of great help. thank you.
2007-09-03 22:03:01 · 12 answers · asked by herr fugelmeister 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
chris n: no i'm not into self abuse and yes my missus is a saint, she'd have to be to put up with me and my crap. i wasnt just top of the class i was top of my school retrospect is a very dangerous thing and i'm sorry i was born into a poor family but my mum and dad worked their fingers raw to provide for 5 kids when i hit 15 i did the same for them.
chimp: i'm very sorry for your loss, you shared a painful thing with me, i said a wee prayer for your loved ones, hope ya dont mind.
2007-09-03 23:01:16 · update #1
thanks for all the answers i'm starting to perk up a bit. i needed a good whine and a swift kick up the ars'e. just been up to the social i couldnt even write my own name, mortar burns all over my fingers and then when i seen what was demanding money for never having worked a day in their lives i thought "sod it i'd rather starve" more gold on them than an egyptian pharoh and their crying poverty. thats the kick i needed.
2007-09-04 00:41:58 · update #2
emt-b: i'm the same as yourself a skilled labourer but i'm in the north of ireland. there is no scheme to help workers back into employment they want. its either suffer or die. i have apprentices ask me for advice, i feel like saying to them " here kid nobody pissed in a pot on my belhalf" but i dont! if they dont want to look stupid in front of thier boss i'll show them how to do it. an apprentice joiner get more wages than me even though i have more skills.
2007-09-04 01:51:15 · update #3
I'm sure your wife doesn't feel that way about you, have you shared your thoughts with her. It seems to me you have been a hard worker most of your life so don't be so hard on yourself. New horizons are always a bit daunting at first, so think positive about your future. Try something you have always wanted to do, maybe a lifetimes dream of being in a career that just seemed like it would never happen. Labouring is a hard job physically so its no wonder you feel like you do. I'm sure your wife will support you in anything you want to do. Communicate with your wife, she is probably your best friend, and you can tell her your hopes and fears. Try and join a club or a class of some sort, you will meet lots of people there. Take your wife along if it something you both enjoy, then you wont feel as if you are on your own. Anyway good luck with the future.
Best Wishes....
P.S. add me to your contacts.
2007-09-03 22:45:26 · answer #1 · answered by pinky.p 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you're in for a major life change, and I'm sure that this seems very daunting right now, on top of having to deal with aches and pains.
You seem to me like someone who is articulate and intelligent, but stuck in a rut. I also think that at your age, you have maturity that younger men might be lacking in. Why don't you look into going back into education as a mature student? You know a trade from the physical labour side of it, why not learn to deal with the administrative side of it also, and make that your career? Or simply do something else.
Many people change their lives in this way, because they find that they cannot continue doing what they have been doing. Is there a college near you that you can go to, just to ask about what's on offer, and what you might be good at? Now is the time, as the new college year is starting soon.
As regards the financial end of it, depending on where you are, grants and financial aid is available. Talk to your local Citizens' Information Bureau (or whatever it's called) about this.
I wish you all the best, and don't be disheartened if it seems a bit tricky to get into. It's just different to what you're used to.
2007-09-03 23:33:15 · answer #2 · answered by Orla C 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi Dude. There is just not enough space here to help you with this. You need some professional help to get your self esteem back. You are not a failure its just your plans and strategies that have not worked for you, change them and you have a different outcome. There are some great books on Amazon and they do work. You are young and have a great future ahead of you and you are not a piece of crap. Today is the start of a new beginning for you. Get some Tony Robbins in your head. Also what you need is a pal. I can help you with this if you want, I belong to a group of friends that all help each other and it don't cost a dime.
2007-09-03 23:18:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try not to feel so bad - dont blame you for not going into work.I do agree that you should look for alternative work to labouring.See your dr also about your physical problems and maybe an anti depressant might lift your moods.Just something to pick you up.Why dont you take up a college course at nightimes or something to get you into a different group of people (good way of making friends)Or maybe if possible go socialising with your partner - maybe meet people together that way.Really hope things go your way and this is just a down moment.Future is bright.
2007-09-03 22:21:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You really are into self abuse aren't you. Why? Labouring is obviously doing your body no good at all - you know this - but you still want to do it for another 5 years?? Why are you beating yourself up? What's making you do this penance? Your wife must be a saint as I bet you are a real pain to live with what with all that moaning and no friends. You know what you have to do - get out there and change your job. Scary? Yes. Brave? Yes. Whatever you do will earn you more than labouring and your creaky bones and joints will just love you for it. Your wife might too. Good luck.
2007-09-03 22:22:12 · answer #5 · answered by chris n 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You know why don't you give some in dept details about why he is a douche bag. Because girls have a tendency to exaggerate about how bad a guy is when in actuality she could "possibly" be the reason for the horrible relationship. Throughout high school, and definitely living in college now, I notice girls lie cheat and fool around with guys behind their boyfriends back then afterwards call their man a "jerk" or a "douche" when he is pissed that "YOU" fooled around with someone else. The never of some chicks. EDIT:"I am ready" down there makes a good point as well. It's amazing how girls seem to always go for those types of guys. And they play dumb by saying things like "I thought he was different." Reality. Most girls put themselves in those situations by not giving the good guys a chance.
2016-05-21 00:18:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just know how you feel here..i aint achieved much in my time and feal real shite..you just carry on and even though that seems pointless at times but believe me aint..I moved to scotland a few years a go to be with my girlfriend who sadly died a few weeks a go..i dont have a single friend where i am and my father who has just been given a few months to live as well..But no matter how crap life is you just need to get on with it..futures are only bleak if you allow yourself to sink..Have a go at further education and better yourself.I worked for agencys for years and they are the most depressive people to work for.get onto the job center and take a free course also the libraries do free courses..its all out there if you want it and just believe in yourself..
2007-09-03 22:23:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a job that isn't manual - driving or a banks man. Something that doesn't need you to be physical to any extent. Make realistic goals and work towards one at a time. Things never look that bad if you aim low and work your way up - it sounds to me like you've got the work ethic, which is more than most these days, so look into doing something else. Good Luck!
2007-09-03 22:12:19 · answer #8 · answered by sunshine 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you seem extremely stressed at the moment, and very confused about your life too, why don't you pop down to your doctor and ask for a sick line so you can take time off to think about what you are wanting to do with work, as for your wife i would sit her down and explain clearly what is happening just now with you and your anxietys im pretty sure she will be understanding and try to help you the best she can,
i think you have got depression as what you are talking about im going through with my partner as well he feels he is stuck in a rut with life too, you say you have no friends but you do have a loving wife and maybe you two can take up a hobbie together and meet friends,
everyone feels like this at some point in their lifes and don't feel guilty for feeling like this or think your letting anyone down, just take time off and relax
2007-09-03 22:17:40 · answer #9 · answered by mizzmamma 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have a career change. Sieze the day etc. You don't need to waste your life doing something you hate. That's stupid. And I'm sure you're lovelier than you think :)
2007-09-03 22:18:31 · answer #10 · answered by Isla 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋