In an outburst of anger,my dad told me that he hated me. Whenever we have a fight he threatens to leave the house....stating irreconcilable differences as the reason. Btw i'm 21 and i'm a college student. He compares me with his older sibilings and mother who abused him when he was a kid. He raises his voice at me and says mean stuff but when i do likewise he gets all upset. My bro shouts at him too but my dad just laughs it off. When i confront him abt it he goes,'oh ur bro is not like u.....'
2007-09-03 19:33:12 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My mum gangs up with my dad on me.
2007-09-03 19:40:05 · update #1
your brother is not like you.. you're a girl and he's a boy that makes a big difference to some ignorant men. If things get too rough you should consider finding your own place you are old enough and even though it would be hard it might not be as hard as the emotional stress he is putting you through. Just do what you need to do to be happy and if your father won't let you then he isn't worth being around in the first place.
2007-09-03 19:39:49 · answer #1 · answered by Jessica 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your dad has anger control issues and rage is causing the outbursts--I mean a life of stressful family situations and anger has a place in this scenario--leaving instead of staying is simply running away instead of handling the problem. So why do you even fight? There is no communications here--he said he hates you because he hates the situation. He doesn't mean it--he acts out before thinking. Can't you stay away from the stuff that causes these fights???You are 21 and trying to get through college--I would think you would be too busy to get into fights. Sounds like a horrible situation and a total lack of communication and understanding. Better work on learning how to express yourselves like human beings.
2007-09-04 02:44:06 · answer #2 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a chance to live your own life (a separate house, apartment etc.) then I suggest you to go on with it. You can try to find a part-time job or something for back up. But if you do not have this opportunity then you should talk to your father and both of you should try to find a way to get along well for the sake of rest of the family. Because do not think that while you are arguing with him you are the only one who gets upset the other people in the house also get stressed and upset. Talk to him alone and do not interfere your mother if you think that she is with him.
Tell him that he needs to be a little more temperate. Threatening you to leave the house will not solve your problem and it will not ease his restlessness either. But tell him that it will not be your fault if he leaves the house since it will only show that he is not capable of handling problems and his solution for them is to run away from them.
You and him also need a professional help, a counselor to improve your relationship. Try this. If you feel that it won't work then you'll let it go. It will be his loss anyway.
Good luck
2007-09-04 02:53:21 · answer #3 · answered by Ardelia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad shouldn't be putting all that pressure on you no matter how old and successful you are. Just tell him to move out, or you move out. Where is your mom in all of this? If he's threatening to leave because of you then talk to your mom about it if she's around. Room with a friend somewhere and stuff, or tell him he needs to stay or leave but stop threatening. He's being really harsh and harmful to you, and just care for your brother and concentrate on your grades so that you can leave him forever when the time comes.
And I'm glad to see you like OMAM
2007-09-04 02:37:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, sweetie, that is so sad.........he needs counseling. I"m sorry that you are living with that. You won't be able to force him. If you are a Christian, then just pray that he will see his wrongs and make them right.
I suggest getting counseling for yourself to handle this if you can afford it. If not, then there are usually counselors at the larger churches.
also, you're 21 and in college, is there any way you can live on campus? give yourself some peace?
bless your heart......I hope you find some way out of the situation soon. be the bigger person and just try to stay outta his way. you hang in there! get that degree and make a life for yourself!
2007-09-04 02:38:40 · answer #5 · answered by Kathy S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds more like you have a problem.. Why on earth are you still living there. If you are in college and you are unhappy living at home, move. He does not need any problems with you. If he had problems with his mother etc. he does not need his child telling him what to do. You two have to learn to work things out or leave if unhappy. He should not leave his home. Best to you two Pem
2007-09-04 02:49:31 · answer #6 · answered by Patricia M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are old enough to get some roommates and move out. As long as you live in your dad's house, you should treat him with respect and not yell at him. If you were my child, you butt would either respect me or get out!!
2007-09-04 02:36:41 · answer #7 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to avoing the yelling and fighting when you can.. it really doesnt do any good to keep doing it... If your dads going to yell at you naturally your going to yell back... Its not a good situation to be doing this all the time..
2007-09-04 02:38:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has old personal issues that were never resolved. Don't fight back, just try to keep calm & quiet and maybe he'll realize how crazy he's acting.
2007-09-04 02:36:53 · answer #9 · answered by ßαßε 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
push the right buttons on anyone and they get angry ...push some more and they go into Rage...which usually leads to very bad things happening to you or things in immediate area, I would have walked out too.
2007-09-04 02:40:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋