I have a question in regards to guys dating plus-sized gals.?

Question

I understand that some guys aren't picky about a woman's figure and that others prefer someone who is physically fit.

However, I see more and more plus-sized women with boyfriends. Is it because they are self-confident in themselves or perhaps they were grossly obese to begin with and lost a lot of that weight or perhaps guys are starting to be more open-minded about a woman's image?

I'm curious to know since I am somewhat plus sized (lost 30 lbs. and still in the process of losing weight; though not grossly obese) and I would like to get back in the dating scene after a long hiatus. No, I'm not looking to hook up through Yahoo answers; I'd just like to know how plus-sized women manage to match up with men.

Ignorant answers will be ignored. I would like an explanation and I don't care how short or long it is.

Answer 1

You already have a very attractive feature to the better sort of guys - intelligence. That's obvious from your questions and answers on this site. Guys who insist on a thin woman with large breasts make no sense at all - the two do not naturally go together. Besides, a fair number of men have a few extra pounds in this country. They should not ask a woman to starve while they are overweight themselves. The bottom line is that intelligence and personality win the long race. After a few times in the sack, even the woman with the most "perfect" body becomes dull if she isn't fun to be with and has nothing to say. Best advice I have from the singles world is to find a fun person to be friends with first. The rest happens naturally. Any guy who wants a quick ticket to sex is not worth your time - UNLESS, that's all you want. Women always get to choose that sort of thing in my experience. You always have the power to say when.
OH, another thing from the world of guys (at least this guy)
- always keep some clothing on - even if you are in the best shape of your life. The mystery is ALWAYS more intriguing than the whole visual - if the man has an imagination (and you don't want a guy with no imagination - boring). Very very few women or men look their best completely naked.
And another confidence booster for you - Google up the Rembrandt painting "Danae" (from ~1636 I think). This is the most beautiful woman Rembrandt can imagine. She might be thought a bit overweight by today's standards, but she was all health and beauty just a few hundred years ago. Our current view of womanly perfection in this country has gotten all out of whack to the detriment of women's health.

Answer 2

Man, there are so many factors. Some guys hate competition, and plus-size women don't have as much to contend with. Some guys just flat-out like larger women. The women themselves often seem more anxious to please, too. And it's possible the women you see became plus-sized since the relationship with their boyfriends. That's the rundown on physical attraction.

More likely, though, the plus-size women are, in fact gaining more confidence because there are more of them out there. With some guys (I'm one of them), common interests and personality make the physical attraction only secondary, especially if the woman is (like you) still trying to slim down a little.

I'm engaged to a woman now who wants to lose 40 lbs by July, when we're getting married. She's dieting and exercising and has the drive to lose that weight and tone up.

And congratulations on your weight loss and I applaud your continued efforts. As you lose, you can become even more active and continue dropping pounds and adding muscle. Best of luck to you. Hope this helped.

Answer 3

I think the biggest misconception is that if you're plus-sized than you're lazy, eat alot, aren't healthy, etc.

That is not true. I am a plus-sized gal, and always have been. My entire family is bigger. Yet, I exercise at least 4 times a week, eat *very* well, count calores/sat. fats/trans. fat, etc. I am actually healthier than a lot of my size 2 friends.

People are overweight, or plus sized, due to genetics, thyroid issues, etc. I think people are starting to realize that, including men.

When I met my boyfriend, he and I were just good friends. Then I ran into him at the gym, we went out for lunch, he saw I ordered a salad (as I usually do), etc. He told me later that he fell in love with my personality, and saw that I do take care of myself.

The main thing is, you have to be friends with guys first. Not even if you're just plus-sized. It helps build a relationship, and I think guys are slowly getting the idea that heavy doesn't equal unhealthy.

Good luck, and while exercise is good, don't forget that you should never have to be a size 2 to find love.

Answer 4

Hello,

Looks and perfect bodies may be an initial eye catcher but such things wear off in time and personality comes into play.
Over the years I have learned that the most important thing in a relationship is that the two people have many interests in common and without that things fall apart in time.

I think personality plays an important role and in a dating or girl friend situation I would much prefer Kristie Alley for example to Paris Hilton. To me strong character is important and I like people who can laugh at themselves like her.

That said, when going with a person you is over weight, you can always incorporate more exercise and physical activities into your hobbies and mutual interests. I did that before when I had to shed extra pounds and things worked out well.

Cheers,

Michael Kelly

Answer 5

It all depends on whether you're being honest about your terms, and I'll run the risk of being ignorant. I've seen a woman I know wearing a sweatshirt with a picture of a sheep that says, "Ewe's not fat...ewe's fluffy." I can't help thinking, "No, ewe's fat." Obesity is generally nonnegotiable. Other than that however, the women I've been atracted to the most have been in the high normal/low overweight zone (see a BMI index). So as I said, it depends on you being honest. "Plus" means nothing to me, nor does "ample" nor "full-figured". I've seen enough dishonesty about women and their weight that these all mean "fat" to me. I find fat as in "obese" to be sexually repulsive. You used the term "grossly obese", do you know what it means? Moderate obesity is +20% to +40% over normal. Severe obesity is +40% to +100% over nomal. Morbid (what I'd consider "gross") is more than 100% over normal. All the other terms are often used dishonestly to disguise the degree of overweight.

Answer 6

As a principle, men like women of all sizes, shapes, weights and heights. It does not matter how "big" you are but how appealing you are in terms of bonding, friendship, enthusiasm, energy, humor, and personality. There are physical aspects that some guys take into consideration when dating overweight women. For example, sex with an overweight woman may be less mechanical and less flexible. But what really matters is that the "Big Jane Doe" loves me and cares about me, not her looks or sexual efficiency.
I have met 90-60-90 who demonstrate to be really unpleasant in bed, but I have met fat women who are heavenly sent angels experts in lovemaking. So who cares whether you're fat or not? It's all in your mind and your personality traits.
Furthermore, all women are beautiful. Nowadays, despite the media telling you that being slim is being sexy, charming women are the ones who really conquer men's hearts with their inner beauty.

Answer 7

Just be yourself. It's more than just guys who aren't worried about being overweight, some guys like women with a little weight. I'm sure you're cute and are probably very sweet. Just don't go out with a guy that doesn't deserve you. Wait for the right guy.

Answer 8

i've seen some moderately chunky (not huge, maybe 20 lbs overweight tops) girls with REALLY handsome men. i mean, men that would make any straight woman very, very hot.

i can speak for myself at least. often, a bigger girl, if i may be somewhat crude, makes me very horny. especially if her breasts/butt are large. she can't be enormous, but if she's a little chunky, i have no problem with it, especially if she tends to gain weight in the right places. :) hey, i'm a big (not fat, just tall and bulky) man...i need something to grab onto.

also, as men mature a bit, they realize that for relationships (as opposed to just random sex), personality counts more than looks.

finally, it is true that women who have just *recently* lost a bunch of weight are about the hottest women around. they often still have big breasts/butt, but have thinned out nicely elsewhere. quite sexy.

okay, i will stop being a pervert now. ;)

Answer 9

From my boyfriend: Basically it's not the fact that they're heavy or anything, some of them are just confident in themselves. Most guys like a girl who is confident, it's attractive. It seems like more of the "fit women" are more high maintenance and only take care of themselves and not their man...I'm not saying heavy girls are the only ones that can take care of a man, it's just that it seems that they're more appreciative of who they're with.

Answer 10

There are lots of men who are attracted to big women. I'm plus sized and have never had any problem finding guys who are attracted to that. My bf says he has always been attracted to big women, and he is average sized. And yes, you do have to be self-confident.