I am confused. Why does a guy who lives out of state who you once dated continue to play you? I mean why does he ignore me for days, then call to tell me how much he misses me etc and wants me to visit him and move to him then ignore me again for days? What does the guy get out of this? I am done dealing with it but wonder what is going thru his head. Is he keeping me in the wings in case things don't work out with the other girl? He tells me there is no other girl but I am almost sure he is playing me by how he is acting.
2007-09-03 17:50:35 · 9 answers · asked by Sad Girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hey! Girl be SMART,
The best thing to do is get yourself so busy, you can't even think about checking the phone, etc...You must leave him hanging longer than he leaves you, EVERY TIME!!! It can be difficult, but that's a great way to even the playing field...And to see if he really IS serious or not! You need to have HIM wondering, NOT you! If he's got you wondering, you have to turn the tables or drop him like a bad habit! Never move to a guy, they are responsible for relocating & dealing with any inconvenience regarding your relationship...That is how they show their love, devotion & commitment to YOU! That way you develop trust & loyalty to them, not the other way around...Remember go with your gut. You know what is going on, so don't waste any time needlessly...Best wishes!
2007-09-03 18:19:32 · answer #1 · answered by Ultra Violet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am going to a similar dilemma, only i am actually moving back home... we had planned MONTHS ago that we would get back together when i got home, as long as the circumstances were permitting of course. and this guy is the only guy i think i have ever loved as well. anyways.. so after like 2 months, where the phone calls, and the texts and the emails and IMs were consistent, he suddenly became distant with no real explanation. i called, i sent him a text or two, i even emailed him with no response. and unfortunately, i chalked it up to another girl taking his time, or he just lost interest. so i went by the advice of my friends, and the best thing they told me was to forget about him, because ultimately he WAS playing me, and that I deserved better than to be treated like some piece of damned roadkill!!
as far as what he gets out of it, i can only assume that some guys are creeps like that, and they enjoy playing the field, and are pretty emotionless when it comes to relationships, whether it be from past experiences or just how they feel in general. some guys actually don't factor into the equation that feelings are an important part of ANY relationship, and when they are void of emotion, they don't get close to anyone and unfortunately people get hurt in the process..
and i mean, you don't live there, and if you're not planning on moving there any time soon, then why bother with some guy who's going to keep you on the side when in a relationship you should be the center of attention? i say as hard as it may be, move on and forget about him - spend time on yourself, and the right guy will eventually find you!
2007-09-04 01:08:15 · answer #2 · answered by Nikki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are , from what I get from reading this, a back up. He is out of state so I am sure he is telling those girls that too, but if something ever happens with the girl or girls he is with, he wants to make sure he still has a hold on you. So he'll tell you this to make sure you still like him. Those days when he is ignoring you he is more than likely with some girl in his state. Next time he says he wants you to move there tell him you will be there tomorrow. His reaction to that should give you the right answer. I know that could be considered game playing too, but if he doesn't mean it then catch him in the lie.
2007-09-04 00:59:07 · answer #3 · answered by Leigh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes, he's playing with you! No doubt about it. He's covering his bases. He definetely plays with women where he is but he wants his butt covered if he comes back.
You have a choice (isn't that good). Be a schmuck and believe him or spend your time on guys who really ARE nice.
When he calls you, it's when he hasn't been with a girl for a few days. When he DOESN'T call you, it's because he's with another girl and is being satisified for the moment....This guy's a loser.........RUN!!!!
Forest, RUN!
2007-09-04 01:08:26 · answer #4 · answered by Carl R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Classic case of wanting to have your cake and eat it too. In my opinion he has another girl. When he wants to be with you, he'll be with you. By calling you, seeing you, whatever. On the reverse when he wants her he'll be with her. This is probably when you don't hear from him. Any guy that is really into you is going to make some time to call you no matter what is going on.
2007-09-04 00:56:45 · answer #5 · answered by aquamarie213 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably is plaing you. All guys do sometime I think.
It is hard to call his bluff. But, I think that he is just wanting to keep you on the back burner and such. He is just keeping you around in case you ever live close or when he is in town, he will have somewhere to go.
2007-09-04 00:54:54 · answer #6 · answered by showtimegk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
because he wants to be sure he has back up "in case". some people fear being alone and he wants to make sure you will be waiting around for him. but don't this guy sounds selfish and he is using you.
2007-09-04 00:55:43 · answer #7 · answered by Roxanne G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't hate the player.hate the game..
there are no reasons why men are jerks they just are?
plus they will someday fall in love..and get played..what goe around..comes around..better yet like the ciara song..like a boy..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufltcm4yzHo
2007-09-04 00:58:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if the other girl he likes don't like him then he atleast has a chance with you..
he's not playing you he's just trying to get what he wants =]
2007-09-04 00:57:55 · answer #9 · answered by slop 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋