My sister is attention seeking in a very bad way?

Question

My sister is 16 years old. About 3 months ago she attempted to commit suicide by taking an o/d of a various number of medications. Prior to that my mother said she had had been cutting herself.

She gave no reason why she tried to kill herself, we couldn't find one.

Two nights ago she was home with my Dad (on Fathers Day) when she stormed out of the house saying that she hated him. She wouldn't tell anyone where she was going or where she was. Tehre were going to be about 10 of us getting together for Fathers Day dinner which didn't happen because everyone was way to concerned that she wasn't hurting herself again.

When she finally came home she talked with me. Basically I told her what she had caused and that it was completely unacceptable to put that many people through so much worry. During the whole talk (me talking, her listening) she was just grinning and seemed to be happy about it all.

Any suggestions about what family and I can do to try and stop this from going on?

Just wanted to clarify a few things for people. Thanks for all the great answers so far.

When I asked her that night why she 'hates' Dad she didn't give me a specific reason. She just said it was because their personalities are so different. I can understand that making her not necessarily like Dad but hating seems a bit extreme. Dad also knows no reason why she would hate him and I have no reason to believe that he abused her or anything like that.

We are by no means taking this at all lightly. We firmly believe that this is attention seeking behaviour but the quandry is this:

1. We ignore her stupid behaviour, she then tries bigger things and it gets out of hand or...

2. We give her the attention she wants which rewards her for the behaviour which is completely unacceptable.

Regards to the suicide attempt it should be noted that the only real reason that she didn't die was because her boyfriend happened to come over and found her there and called the ambulance.

Answer 1

It appears that a boyfriend could help her and that the family quit bossing her around will you!? =<)

Answer 2

Basically she needs goals and resposibility. You have to start from the beginning. So lets say for the past year all she heard was she needs to do better. Stop doing that. Whats wrong with you. Or worse name calling: Your stupid, your crazy, I cant stand you, ect. And in all this if she is hit it will just feed the fire. So you have to start from the ground up. The other thing is for her to confront herself. get her in front of a mirror and ask her what she see's and how she feels about that person. Have her face herself. Then she needs to start saying she is ok and a good person no matter what anyone else thinks including family. This is how she can build herself up to take on goals and resposibilities. Goals: Have her do something 2 times this week she would not ussually do for herself. (Singing in front of you...Waring a dress....what ever she is feeling make it reverse. She needs to feel like she is special in many ways and needs to find it in her.
House Goals: Certain things must be done before leaving the house everyday. If she leaves you call the police. Along with a goal to be home at 10pm if she is not, then you lock the door. That is the consequences. No one should say anything after that because the lesson was just learned that the door will be locked. You don't want to punish over and over again for the same thing. The punishment was locking the door and she punished herself by not being there. So the door is locked and she must take responsibility for her own actions. If it continues or if she makes a seen by pounding on the door then you call the police and have her arrested or scare her with it at best. All this must be told to her before hand so she can take responsibilities for her own actions instead of blaming others that she feels like sh**t. The other thing is what is happening or has happened. Has she started to do drugs or drink? That will make a nice person go sour fast. Has she been abused by any man sexually?
Balance is a key. She needs to do things for herself and for the house, family ect. If she gets nothing in return then forget it there is no reward and she will withdraw and be awful to get along with. She will continue to look for acceptence and may look to some guy and end up prego. Get a few self help books and work with her if she wont see a couselor which I bet she wont. It will be hard but the benifits will be worth it!

Answer 3

I wouldn't brush it off so easy. Although it may be for attention, she might seriously need some help. Teenagers don't have to have a reason to commit suicide. Sadness often seems enough.

If she is okay with (or even willing to) i would suggest that she get some therapy. It can do wonders for some people.

It is not okay for her to act the way she does even if she is sad and depressed. And you did right by putting her in her place. She has to know that it is unacceptable to treat people the way she does because she is 'upset.'

Good Luck ;)

Answer 4

As the old saying goes 'Extreme cases call for extreme measures'. The next time your sister decides she needs some attention and chooses to put the whole family in great distress by staging a 'suicide attempt'...I would have your parents agree to send your sister to a mental institution on a 72 hour hold so that she can be evaluated as to how likely she is to harm herself and others. My guess is that after her little trip to the Mental Institution that faking a suicide attempt won't seem so appealing anymore. The key to this whole idea is that you, your parents and anyone else involved have to be in agreement with the plan in order for it to work. Good luck.

Answer 5

Your sister needs counseling by a professional that she can confide in and get proper help from. Well intentioned big brothers are fine and so are well meaning parents but if she is cutting herself or acting out like you say she is, she could have bigger things going on. She needs to be evaluated and counseled to ensure that if that is the case she gets the help she needs.
I had a friend that did just that and her parents blew it off like it was an attention thing. Well, she got plenty of attention at her funeral. Cries for help need answering.

Answer 6

There is something going on, way more than the eye can see."Dont judge a book by its cover" was the best quote I have ever known so far. Do a search online for "cutters" you will open a chapter that you may begin to see some answers to your questions.Theres alot more to this story, and as a big brother, you need to protect her and try to find out whats REALLY going on. Maybe as her big brother you need to be firm with her and say look, I found this info online about...... and its time you tell me what youre REAL problem is and stop acting out in this way.If you need help, I will helpyou.. Good luck, my prayers are with you and your sister.

Answer 7

Ask your dad why she is mad at him. He not letting her date a boy? does he hit her? other abuse? Find out what the deal is between your dad and her if he won't say call Child protective services. They will send out someone to help everyone. Also don't tell your sister that she is doing something unacceptable. You don't know if it is or not. Until you find out a reason.

Answer 8

She needs help. She obviously feels ignored and unappreciated at some point in her life... you are doing exactly what you should. Tell her the actions are unacceptable and then offer to spend more time with her watching movies, taking walks and let her know that you are always there should she need to talk

Answer 9

At her age almost ALL teens go through a "phase" change. However, suicide attemps should be taken seriously. I'm no professional but she might in fact be suffering from BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). I recommend that your parents take her to see a specialist. Good luck to all.

Answer 10

Yr sister definetly needs some professional help. You should have her scheduled in to see a social worker.
Also try to get her talking. Bring yourself down to her level & try to get to know her better _ why is she attention starved.
Hang out with her more or just encourage & acnowledge her life. Be her brother & not her father.
If she needs to be talked to that's for yr parents to do & if they're not doing it properly they should see the social worker too.
Yr a good brother but sometimes people do these cries for help becuase there's something bigger they need to have addressed.
.

Answer 11

you are able to try talking to her straight away out. yet that possibly won't artwork. After that, all you're able to do is to have reliable own limitations, and don't enable her control you. you assert she turns each thing right into a contest - nicely, enable her efforts fall flat. whilst she is exaggerating her ailment, do not do greater for her than you sense like doing. you should be non-confrontational approximately it - whilst she makes calls for of you, which you do not prefer to fulfill, say, "i'm sorry, i won't manage to try this." do not guard your self in this - deflect her calls for, exchange the difficulty, or in basic terms fake to not hear her. As for a manner her husband treats her, that in basic terms isn't your enterprise. in case you're uncomfortable around it, decrease some time with them.