What can I do aside understand my grandfather?

Question

My grandfather is the most stubborn man alive. He's not a strong man as he used to be. He has had many operations and hospitalizations in the past five years which makes him evry weak physically. So, my aunts and my family took him from our province and housed him with between the families alternately. I wouldn't consider this an ideal solution since its not really permanent. Nursing home isn't really a solution since its very rare to find a good nursing home here in our country. And our culture prides itself of being family centered.

But my grandfather got into his head to walk back to his province. So in the Metro Manila. He walked the service road, aided by his old memories that if he walks to the service road he can hitch a bus ride back home. He didn't realize that things have changed since 1990's. Provincial bound buses are not allowed inside the service road and my aunts had a hard time tracking a 78 year-old man walking by himself around the metro manila! HELP!

Answer 1

you dont need to put him nursing home 24/7.
your options are....
use just half day. everyday is ok if your family want.
or just weekend or something like that.
depends on nursing home.

Answer 2

Your grandfather may be dealing with Alzheimers. My grandfather did the same thing.

Unfortunately - he needs help 24 hours per day - 7 days per week. If you can get some nursing help, that would be great. Otherwise, look for some creative care that would keep him under constant surveilance. Some families that are larger will take turns in staying with their elderly and other families would find nursing care or an assisted living facility.

It really depends upon how large your family is and what type of social care is available. But - remember - as adults age - they become more like children, but with more wisdom. Never quit respecting him and never forget the life he lived.

Answer 3

Do not let him walk alone. You can walk with him, if you are free. Sometimes, old people just want a hand to accompany them and an ear to listen to them . Since you cannot be beside him 24/7, then find people who can do you a favor by walking with your grandfather for a particular time of the day. Start with your cousins, then your friends. Make a schedule of who will walk with your grandfather for each day.

Also, make your lolo feel that he is special in your life. Maybe, the reason why he always want to go back in his province is that because he is not feeling the same happiness he felt before. Take time and effort to know his likes and desires so that you can easily relate with him. Most of the old people are sad, they need a heart that will love them, and since you are his grandson, then make him a favor: truly love him.

Answer 4

I am sorry that your grandfather is having these issues. It seems that not only in your country, but everywhere the elderly are not necessarily handled with the kind of love and affection they should be. Is it possible that someone can stay with him all the time? You might help him out by letting him get out and walking with him around the city. Talk to him as much as possible. Does he have friends his age that he can get together with? I know that if the mind is not in use, you can loose touch with reality. He needs something to do.

Answer 5

I used to visit a nursing home in Cebu and got a chance to interview some patients. They are just sad souls who want to get out. One of them said he'd rather be on the streets. It's somewhat like a jail life....facilities are limited you know and relatively small. I couldn't blame your grandfather. It's really pathetic there.

Answer 6

it's frustrating but he's 78, he's going to do what he is going to do. you can offer to walk with him. there really isn't much you can do but you could look into an older folks community, not a nursing home but some place he could live with his peers.

Answer 7

I DON'T THINK YOU CAN REALLY UNDERSTAND HIM.... PEOPLE CHANGE ALOT WHEN THEY GET OLD... MAY BE YOU CAN TRY TALKING TO HIM... GOOD LUCK!