I used to call him names,hit andkick him. I used to tell him to playin the street so he would get smushed by a car. I used to punch him in the stomach and he'd cry to my mom. I always got in serious trouble.
When I was 9 yrs old and my bro was 6 I kicked him between his legs hard. I remember my mom taking him to the hospital later that night. I didnt mean to kick him it was a reflex.
Now that my brother is 14 and my older brothers make fun and joke about it, they say its my fault (because of what happened when he was 6) and he might never have kids. They think this is funny!
Now Im not sure and it drives me crazy, esp since my little brother is so intelligent and responsible acting and sweet natured. Last year on Christmas he wrote everyone of us letters telling us how much he loves us, and my oldest brother went to his room and cried.
On top of it I think my little bro is gay, because of me. Or maybe he isn't. But Im afraid if he cant have kids, its my fault!
What should I do?
2007-09-03 17:13:17 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
What's done is done. Like angry words that are spoken you can not unpeak them.
You seem to have been a vicious child and it sounds like you have great remorse which is actually wonderful.
What you can do is take your younger brother aside and tell him how you feel about what you did. ask him if he thinks he can forgive you and go from there.
Whether he is gay or not has little to do with you. You either are gay or you are not.
However his self esteem and self worth are tied to childhood.
Make every effort to redeem yourself and accept him for who he is. Do not allow anyone (even older brothers) to put him down. Stand up for him and show him the vicious child you once were has grown up and become a loving sibling.
He could be affected by your kicking him but i kinda doubt it. If he is all youcan do is hope he does forgive you one day.
You were young , vicious and stupid. Now you are older and wiser.
2007-09-03 17:24:00 · answer #1 · answered by mommakaye 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
As children we all fight with our siblings, it's normal behavior. Now, if your brother is gay, then support him and don't turn your back on him, that's the worst thing you can do. If he is gay it's not your fault, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes, and if you feel so guilty then you should have a talk with your brother and tell him how you feel. You'll end up feeling a whole lot better and he'll probably feel good knowing that your past behavior towards him has bothered you all these years. Communication is the best way to clear the air.
Reading your question really touched me, your brother sounds like a real sweet guy .
2007-09-03 17:22:55 · answer #2 · answered by Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is cruel!!!! Anywho, it sounds like you are sorry. I hope that you treat him well now. All you can do is be there for him and be his Friend. You shouldn't give him a hard time anymore. If you stop talking about it with your brothers and act like it doesn't bother you, they will stop tormenting you about it. They are only trying to get a reaction from you, so don't give in if you want it to stop. As far as it being your fault if he is sterile or not, yes and no. Yes because your the one who kicked him. But you have to realize that you were only a kid then to and you really didn't know any better. You just thought you were hurting him, not permanently damaging his body. So you have to stop blaming yourself. And a kick to the groin and a little bit of bullying doesn't make someone gay. So if he is gay it's only because he's is gay, and not because of you. I hope this helps!
2007-09-03 17:21:54 · answer #3 · answered by Jacob's Mommy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your brother would never be gay because of you. I also doubt he can't have kids because of getting kicked when he was 6. He would have testicles on both sides and they couldn't both be damaged. You say it was a reflex, or an accident so it wouldn't be your fault anyway. Instead of worrying about it, talk to your mother and ask her. He does sound like a sweet kid by the way. That was so nice to write a letter like that.
2007-09-03 17:19:46 · answer #4 · answered by Ricky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
C'mon 4get the past man think wass going on now n if ur bro is gay its not bcozz of u i am sure of dis thing. Maybe he cant have kidz in future but surely he can adopt some cant he?? If there is problem there is surely gonna be some solution. U hurt ur bro before but can u do something by blaming ur self now?? Think about the good things that are taking place, mix with ur lil' bro, talk with him frequently, share ur thoughts wid each other n u can understand each other very well cause u dont have much age gap in u. N pleeeeeez 4 gods sake 4 get abt the past things.
2007-09-03 18:47:59 · answer #5 · answered by Richa 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he's gay, then it doesn't matter if he can have kids. and don't say you made him gay. Although I believe it is a choice, some scientists say it's a gene.
OH, and btw, I got kicked in the nuts HARD when I was like, 5 or 6 and I turned out fine. Well, I may be shootin blanks for I know, but I plan on having kids soon.
2007-09-03 17:21:25 · answer #6 · answered by Matt R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be nice to your little brother. It's common for brothers to fight and horseplay, but I think you know that your actions went too far. There is nothing you can do to change the past, so just focus on the future and be a caring, supportive, and loving brother to him. I don't think you've ruined his chances to have kids, by the way... so don't stress about it, just never do that to him again.
2007-09-03 17:20:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt his being gay would be because of you. Look tell him you feel bad about how you treated him. You have obviously grown significantly as a person since then. Siblings are hard on each other as children. But, it sounds like the two of you could be great friends in the future. He probably will appreciate your telling him.
2007-09-03 17:19:05 · answer #8 · answered by 354gr 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think lots of people hurt their younger brothers. My older brother hurt me and we both picked on my younger brother. I have a few bad memories of it but it doesn't bother me now that we are older and we are all nice to each other. I really don't remember much from when I was 6. I think as long as you are nice to him now and he knows it then everything will be fine.
2007-09-03 17:22:47 · answer #9 · answered by Dan B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh boy - talk about guilt....
it appears you were raised in an abusive household. your parents did not intervene and your siblings think its funny. YOU now have the responsiblity to break the cycle.
Kids that are abused tend to abuse their own children. Kids that have been hit and kicked tend to repeat the cycle with other kids they are around, so let me repeat myself - YOU MUST BREAK THE CYCLE.
It's time for you to admit what you have done and to take responsibility. I don't know how old you are, but a good social counselor or psychiatrist should be able to help you make things right. At the least, you can understand your own behavior and help your brother deal with his own life.
Call someone NOW and help put your lives on the right track.
2007-09-03 17:23:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋