My boyfriend of 5 years has been looking at online porn & I never thought he did ANYTHING like that until someone I work with said he's obsessed with it. When I asked him he denied it and says he rarely masturbates. Recently I saw a show about how online porn addicts eventually engage in casual sex and cheat. My boyfriend is 27 and I always thought he just didn't have a sex drive. He works alot and I thought he never wanted to have sex with me b/c he was too tired. I always got turned down when I asked and we only had sex a couple times a month, which lasted very shortly. I am very open sexually and do everything he wants in bed..so it's not like I can't satisfy him. Plus I'm attractive. He looks at porn sites before work, after work and sometimes after going to bars several times a week. He's doing this before I come over his house. He's been looking at local sex ads of girls in nearby towns and I think he's cheating on me. Am I overreacting? Do all guys look at online porn
2007-09-03 16:18:32 · 5 answers · asked by duclosall 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, all guys don't look at on line porn. Oddly enuf, the ones who seem to do it do it frequently. It's like they really get hooked. I think when people first get computers they ck. out everything & mainly just to see what's out there. The MAJORITY of them don't bother w/it. Unfortunately w/these sites, they seem to dump you from one site to another & on it goes. Eventually, there's a "hook up" to dating sites that seem to be involved w/them too. I don't know if they think you're looking because you're looking for someone to kinda "go along" w/what they have to offer. I also had this problem w/my "live in". It really caused LOTS of problems between us. Of course it led to the dating end of it. To me, that was an insult to our relationship. IF he had me, why did he even feel he had the need to "look around" to see what was available out there. Then came the "fine tuning" to where you put in your local zip codes, which to me was even getting worse. This was looking for women rite in our own back yard so to speak. It got to the point where it upset me terribly. It finally got to the point where he knew how badly it was upsetting me. I told him it was insulting me & was disrespectful to me. If that's all I meant to him that he constantly had to look for more & more, then I couldn't mean that much to him. I think I joined a dating site & of course that went over like a lead balloon w/him. The tho'ts of me out there looking around was a whole different story then. I had NO intestions of even having any interest in it, but just the fact that I'd put myself out there too, finally hit home w/him. We both agreed that was the end period. Off we both went & that was the end of that. I have not had any problems w/that since. Yea, once in awhile he'll look at sexy clothes, but sometimes has bgt. things for me. But it no longer is an every day/wk. occurance. Once in awhile I'll ck. history, but he hasn't been on that crap since. He knows how upset & hurt I got over it & to him he knows me well enuf now after 16 yrs. to let "that" come between us. No more "deleted history" as I tld. him I don't delete my history, I don't have anything to hide to have to. I was one of the fortunate ones. Some men are highly addicted to it. I've seen this on the Dr. Phil show! Which ever way you decide to handle it, I TRULY WISH YOU THE BEST...Stand firm in your convictions tho...You deserve respect, if you can't get it from him, there are others who w/be willing to give it to you!
2007-09-03 17:02:50 · answer #1 · answered by Sue C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-07-17 20:29:59 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are definitely NOT over-reacting. Porn addiction is a serious problem in our culture, and if it's really bad, he may need professional help, like therapy, to get over it.
You deserve better! Tell him that he is going to have to be honest with you about his issues, and he is going to have to want to change. This is incredibly unhealthy, and unless he really wants to stop, he obviously isn't going to. I think you should just let this guy go deal with his own problems while you find happiness elsewhere.
And no, not ALL guys look at porn but many do. That doesn't mean they're addicted to it though or that they'd turn down sex with their girlfriend in place of it
2007-09-03 16:27:25 · answer #3 · answered by Miss D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
alright i'm gonna start off by saying that guys looking at porn is normal, so i don't think that bit is what you should worry about. the fact that you guys don't have sex that much is really wierd, um i wouldn't ask him though( to have sex), i would just take advantage of him... i really don't know what guy wouldn't like that.. but if he doesn't then you have to find another approach. if you know what he likes you should do those things so that he focuses more on you and doesn't think so much about porn. since you have already looked at what he's been looking at, there was probably a pattern and you could get a good idea there. and you should definitely talk to him about it. obviously he would know that you found out about his little porn problem, but you could start off by asking him why you guys don't have sex that much and that the fact that he is tired is not a good excuse. maybe if he doesn't know how much you want it you could let him know (or show him) if he already knows, then talking should help you sort out your problem. good luck
2016-05-20 23:11:48 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Besthookup
2015-01-28 08:39:57 · answer #5 · answered by Lauren 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not that much! you need to talk to him and tell him if he really likes you then hell stop.
2007-09-03 16:24:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋