Almost every time I try to start a conversation with my mom, she ignores me and doesn't answer back. Then if I say something about it, she'll say, "What do you want me to say? You didn't ask me a question." Or she'll say, "yes I heard you. You said (such and such). So what?" It's not like i'm a child either. I'm 23 and try to have adult conversations but everytime I try to talk to her, she won't. The only time she ever talks to me is to say something negative or to nag at me. I don't get it. Then the other day, I very politely asked her a question and she snapped and yelled at me and said I was giving her an attitude when I wasn't at all. I kindly asked her a question and even said "please." Why is she always acting like a *****?
2007-09-03 16:16:26 · 12 answers · asked by Thing 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't appreciate you people telling me negatively to get out of my mom's house. In my culture, it's acceptable to live with your parents until you're married. Besides, I go to work part time and college full time , so it's not like i'm the deadbeat child. Rent is very expensive here- my bro has 3 jobs, works 6 days a week, and still struggles to make ends meet. It's not easy to just move out.
2007-09-03 16:49:17 · update #1
I'm not Jewish. I'm actually chinese.
2007-09-03 17:45:00 · update #2
Quit trying to have conversations with her. Its a lost cause. Talk to your friends and let your mother stew in her own misery. Your allowing her to drag you into her misery. At age 23 you should be out on your own and not having to deal with this.
2007-09-03 16:20:31 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
She is being passive-aggressive, in other words, she has an issue with you but she won't admit and resolve it, so she keeps acting out. Sounds like things between the two of you have been tense.
Would you consider writing a letter to her? Because it seems like she's not ready to really talk yet. In the letter, you could start with saying how much she means to you and how much you care (obviously) about your relationship. Then ask her if you'd hurt her in the past and that you miss the times when... (normal communication era). Make sure she gets the letter and then it's not in your control. She might melt and decide to tell you what the problem is (and it might not even be you) or she might ignore it.
In any case, don't push the "I'm 23" agenda--for moms we're always babies...
Try to sit down with her, look her into eye, hold her hand and say, Mom, tell me if I can help you be happier today? See what happens, and if nothing works, you can at least say to yourself that you've tried!
Good luck dear, moms are tough...
2007-09-03 16:30:25 · answer #2 · answered by sara 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What I see here in what you wrote is, that your Mom, has some kind of problem within herself, and when people are having bad days or have a problem they usually take it out on the once they Love, their children. Do you have a dad? if so, I would suggest to have a talk with him and tell him what is happening between you and your Mom. why don't you tell your Mom, what it is that makes her angry at you, is it something you've done? or does she wants you to move from her house, because 23 years old should be more independent, and be on their own. Do you work? if so, than rent an Apartment, and see if that would make your Mother notice you. Sometimes I do not know why some Mothers do not appreciate their Children. I have Seven of my own, all Married, with children of their own, and I do not know what I would do without them. I wish you Luck.
2007-09-03 16:34:47 · answer #3 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your mother has had this personality forever, I assume? If so, you just have to accept that this what she is like. Don't take it personally. When she's rude to you, just laugh inside your head (don't be rude back) and say, "There goes my Mom again!"
When you want this kind of conversation, don't go to your mom for it; she's the wrong person.
Appreciate her good points; I'm sure she has them. I'm sure she does things to make your life better, for instance she gives you a place to live so you don't have to pay high rents.
If you really want to move out, of course that's okay too. But you still need to put your mom's behavior into perspective, not be upset about it.
2007-09-03 17:15:56 · answer #4 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say how your relationship was before.
My Mom is mean sometimes too. When she thinks in her head that the world doesn't respect her, or when she thinks that I am taking advantage of her (in her head of course!).
I know she loves me, but her way is ignoring, because she is hurt. She never says why until I ask her wtf her problem is. Then she spills what she thinks I did.
I used to feel bad when she did that, and ignored me, when I was your age. Now, I don't give a rats azz what that woman thinks.
My advise to you is to ask her what's bothering her. If that doesn't work, then just don't talk to he so much. She's your mom, and if anything were to God forbid happen, you wouldn't want to be on bad terms. Just keep a distance for a while.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
2007-09-03 16:28:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seem that your mother has the same problem that so many mother have just don't know how to talk to you unless it is some thing not good. I would suggest that you just set your mother down and tell her that you are 23 and it would be nice if you and her could just be mother and daughter and sometime it alright that she might let down the guard and you and her be friends. Because at your age it is sometime to be a friend and not a mother all the time.
2007-09-03 16:25:24 · answer #6 · answered by kool aid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say it's getting annoying, now you know how SHE feels when you talk back to her. Apologies are only to make the person who dissed someone feel better. You disrespected your mother, she doesen't HAVE to allow you to do that and she isn't. Find some other way to get to work and while at work think about how often you disrespect your mother...and your father is wrong. I have done the same thing your mother is doing. I don't HAVE to allow my child to disrecpect me. Apologizing doesn't change the fact that you don't respect your mother.
2016-04-03 02:11:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has she always been like this or is it something new? How old is your mother? Could she be going through menopause? Talk to your mother about how she's feeling, about her life for a change and you might gain insight and understanding and empathy. I hope you 2 can work things out.
2007-09-03 16:59:58 · answer #8 · answered by gma 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called menopause honey. Either get the old girl on some hormone replacement therapy or stay out of her way!
2007-09-03 16:24:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i kinda have similar prob with my mom..
i think most mother dont want their daughters to grow up..
they see them little and want to treat them like children all the time.. but dont listen to her all the time try to give her some space and never argue with her always agree with and be nice to her and finaaly she might realize that she was wrong if not then she has some kinda prob and need space
2007-09-03 16:23:11 · answer #10 · answered by amanda h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋