My 12yo son won't take responsibility for his actions, is there anything that i can do to make him?

Question

He has been misbehaving in class.

Answer 1

Unfortunately you cannot *make* him take responsibility and you can take someone's advice here about showing him who is boss, but that will probably backfire because if you haven't already been teaching him that you are the boss his entire life, starting now won't do a thing.

What he needs to learn is natural consequences. Talk to the teacher(s) regarding the class(es) in question and ask about his behavior specifically. Does it turn out he's purposefully disrupting class to get attention or because it's funny? In real life, you are asked to leave.

Does he break things, take things away from others, etc? In real life, you have to replace it, give it back in addition to some sort of restitution, etc.

He needs to learn natural consequences no matter how embarrassing or harsh they are. Better now than when he is 18, and can't have you to watch his back.

Answer 2

Lots of great advice here! definitely talk with his teachers and find out when and how he is misbehaving in class (maybe he is covering up not understanding the lesson or having trouble with the curriculum, though learning disabilities usually show up earlier). Taking responsibly for his own actions is something that needs to be stressed from early on. I agree that you may not have much luck retraining him in this. Logical and natural consequences are definitely the way to go (though expect things to get worse before they get better as he is going to test to make sure that you are serious). Martial arts training is also excellent for teaching respect and responsibility (just make sure you get into a good school)

Answer 3

You can't make him decide to do the right thing, you can only lay out for him what happens if he makes choice A and what happens if he makes choice B, and let the chips fall where they may. He's at an age now where you have to LET him be responsible for his actions, even when it means he screws it up a bunch. It's hard to watch, but some people have to learn their lessons the hard way.

Answer 4

Okay, someone is going to be the boss. the question is this..are you going to be the boss or are you going to let him be the boss.. you had better make up your mind now, because if you let it continue, you will lose him forever. He knows that you want do anything to punish him.. probably because you have always given him his way and he is used to lieing his way out of things.. set the standard of conduct and lay out the punishment.. and make it severe punishment.. tougher than he will imagine.. lay down the law and enforce it.. and while he is learning to follow the rules.. teach him why it is important to behave properly.. it is obvious to me that you have not taught him much.. which leads to these question..why? and where is his father? I am not trying to insult you..I am trying to get you to wake up and take responsibility for your actions or inactions concerning raising and diciplining your son..

Answer 5

Check with your local county jail and see if they have a scared straight program. It gives the kids a chance to see inside a jail and find out what goes on. It is a way to let kids know that if they continue on the path they are heading they could be one of those inmates in jail.

Answer 6

take the away what he love to do(tv, games, hang out with friends, etc), make his bedtime a hr early everytime he gets in trouble. better yet talk 2 the school and see if he get in trouble put him 2 work cleaning the campus

Answer 7

Someone else mentioned Karate. Perfect!
Also, show him the consequences of his actions. No tv, no video games, no music. When he earns the right to have them back, he can have them back. Simple as that.

Answer 8

sign him up for martial arts. It's a great way to learn respect, dicspline and self control

Answer 9

Umm it depends on what type of responsibliries you are refering to, more details needed

Answer 10

Counseling. Now.