I've never had a problem with my boyfriend watching porn until I found out that he's watching it essentially everyday when he doesn't want anything to do with me. He's stated that masturbation is easier for him to climax than having sex with me. This obviously upsets me but he says that I'm overreacting and too sex driven. I feel that whenever we have sex, I'm forcing him into it. My self esteem has plumeted and he doesn't seem to understand why. So, am I overreacting to all this or is there really a problem?
2007-09-03 14:08:06 · 22 answers · asked by lissasdev 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
A guy who doesn't want sex? Something's up.
2007-09-03 14:13:27 · answer #1 · answered by Taylor G 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he is watching porn every day and avoiding having sexual contact with you it has become an addiction instead of a turn on. My bf had the same problem and it took a very long time to work through it. I demanded he quit looking at it so he began hiding it; then I busted him on that so he went to magazines, until I found them. It has been quite a while since we've had these issues come up but it was a long road and to be honest, the intimacy hasn't ever been the same. After the addiction there is a problem with physical contact. They have seen it so often it doesn't have the normal affect you would expect from your partner. Good luck and I hope you work it out which ever way is best for you.
2007-09-03 14:16:39 · answer #2 · answered by littleone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your boyfriend has a big problem if he would rather watch porn than have sex with you. While I am not a psychiatrist or sex therapist ,I suspect he has an issue with love and emotional bonding that is a prerequisite for intimacy.Hence he would rather masturbate to climax (which requires no intimacy) than engage in sexual intercourse with you(which requires intimacy).I don't know if you are driven by sex or not;however,I believe you are justified in being upset by his behavior and not overreacting one bit.Discuss this obsession with porno with him, ask how you can improve your love life so he can climax sexually.If he refuses or does not see a problem, then you will have to decide if you still want the relationship. I wish you the best.
2007-09-03 14:37:04 · answer #3 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I first found out my bf watches porn when I checked his history.....(he usually watched it when I was away in my country ) we had a long distance relationship but we done cybersex quite often. So I saw it and breaked down I cried and wanted to break up,my Love for him made me stay with him though........I asked him not too look at it anymore but when I came over after 2 month I discovered some more porn ......I totally lost it I cried and I even slapped him for it......and its actually pictures of naked women not movies. I dont think its allright in any way I mean he flips when I said that Cristiano Ronaldo is really hot ,I made him pay I looked atg naked nice model guys and he didnt liked it at all loeave alone masturbating to them.We once was in a bar and to make him pay two guys that were starring at me I greeted them infront of him and said "Hey He looks alot better then you"! the guys had a laugh and he was hurt and pissed..... In the end before I last time went away I installed an antiporn thing on his pc that I can recommend....but now we live together I dont think its allright that porn is considered as normal and okay!!!! just cuz so many do it ......I mean google jelous on porn so many many women suffer cuz of it !!!!! And to u plz dont take ur bf watching porn confront about it and do something about it like this antiporn thing ,I mean u are his gf and he shouldnt get turned on by anything else......Ask him if he would like it if u masturbate imagining that u gonna sleep with some nice firend of his or some nice naked guy!U can also buy the playgirl and see how he reacts ..But the fact is it hurts u and he should stop But please dont suffer for some man ...............I mean he has to make some consequences ,I cant believe he knows about it and is still doing it. Shock therapy is best do something radical then ..........the way I see it he is disrepectfull and waits for u to change when he is the 1 to....
2016-05-20 22:25:40 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I must tell you honestly that I've never found a woman "too" driven by sex.
No, you're not overreacting and there really is a problem. Seems to be his problem though and not yours. You just got caught up in it.
Pull yourself esteem back up - only you can do that, and you know it too.
Something else is going on here, whether you can see it or not. Sorry, but masturbation doesn't even come close to having sex with someone you love.
2007-09-03 14:16:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break off with him now and just be glad you are not married to this guy. He obviously has a sexual problem and its not up to you to try to change him--he will not. No you are NOT overreacting to this! When we dont let the men do what ever they please---we are overreacting. Get out of this situation.
2007-09-03 14:18:00 · answer #6 · answered by skyward 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think that both are true.
On the one hand whatever his reason for not wanting to have sex with you, it's about him and not about you so you should let it affect your self esteem. too many women get their self worth from others rather than from themselves.
But on the other hand your needs are not being met, and thats a problem. Personally I love porn and I think masturbating is great, and if i have a partner who wants to indulge in it I'm thrilled, as long as they do it in addition to our shared sex, NOT instead of our shared sex.
I think you need to either negotiate with him to get your needs met, or get your needs met elseware.
2007-09-05 04:29:10 · answer #7 · answered by Jenny T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you think that possibly your boyfriend isn't watching the girls in the porn he is watching the guys. Anyway just a thought. Your boyfriend should take care of your needs not just his.
2007-09-03 14:16:07 · answer #8 · answered by Laughing with you not at you 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my dear god!!! my boyfriend will be tired and not want to have sex like one day of the year and I feel awful and think that there's something wrong with me.
If I was you I would be absolutely devastated!!!!!
I don't think I could be with someone like this. If you are with someone then you should be physically attracted to them and that means that you desire to have sex with them and enjoy doing so!
If you boyfriend watched porn then wanted to act it out with you then that would be ok! but neglecting you is NOT ok!!
try talking to him and laying it out like a children's book
if that doesn't work, he needs to hit the road!
2007-09-03 14:15:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not overreacting. Porn shouldn't be an issue but when he prefers it to having sex with you, it's time for some counseling or for you to say buh-bye to him.
2007-09-03 14:14:35 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is something wrong with him. Any guy that would choose masturbation over the real thing is just weird. lol Try doing sexy things to get his attention if that doesn't work then try talking to him more or just move.
2007-09-03 14:17:05 · answer #11 · answered by Living in BFE 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋