How Do You Deal With A B*tchy Sister?

Question

Ok. I am 19, and i have a sister who is 21. We live together with my mom (we're pretty poor, lowl, so dont say move out, its not an option right now) And i just cannot stand her anymore. I feel like im going to beat the snot out of her. She is just COMPLETLY unreasonable. She will not listen to anyone, and she is completly selfish. A few examples:

I was making lunch, and she asked me to make an eggroll, which i did, and she just let it sit there for 3 hours, so my mom comes home and does the dishes, and mentions she threw the eggroll away she gets all bitchy, yells my mom out, and runs out for a few hours

I was at a cook out and she comes out yelling and screaming at my dad who had gone into her room (which she no longer lives in, my dad lives in his own house) that he had thrown stuff away, and now she needs to "sort through the shattered remnants of her life" It was all trash. She even has a rabbit up there that she doesn't take care of, she is yelling and crying and runs out.

We got home and i am talking to my mom, not her in the least, and i mention something about moving a video game console into her room, and she just goes off "Your not taking the SNES into her room, you guys have everything else, your not taking that!" I wasn't even talking about that, i was talking about MY gamecube, and quite frankly the SNES she was so defensive about is BOTH OF OURS so if i want to play it while she is not, i have every right to do so. She just gets so moody over things she should not. She is 21, and needs to grow up. I mean, she is contantly doing drugs, drinking alcohol, she is such a horrible person. Even my parents and brother all don't like her very much. She even said that she's going to be homeless when we move because she doesnt want to move back in with my dad, well you know what, i don't care if she is homeless as long as she is not there. I seriously HATE her. She is an awful person, and i just can't deal with her. Anyone have a similar sibling?

Oh, and as for the dishes, me and my mom have a deal. I empty the dish drainer, and i make dinner, and she does the dishes, which is a good deal because we both have bad backs, so i take the job that requires more standing up.

Answer 1

You'll have to do the very thing that you resist the most, and that is, have an open talk with her, without negative emotion and refuse to leave until you calmly gain a sense of connection with her. Try to look at things from her point of view, and be calm, ask her questions, ask her whats going on with her, why is she so upset. Keep doing this and don't react to her. Explain why you know somethings not fair or not. The alcohol and drugs are affecting her and that might be all it is, or she is bipolar. Whatever the case, its like "Whats eating Gilbert Grape" she is upset about something that happened to her, and even if its not true, her feelings on the matter are still valid. As you grow older, you will realize she's your sister, and all you have and this is a lifelong committment. You will get along better later if you work on it now, you will have her later as well and all this will just be the past. Someone has to be the adult here, and if its not going to be her because she's drugged out or confused, then it will have to be you. Be grateful its you and that you're not like her.

Think of it this way, do you honestly wish you were her for an hour? Could you imagine what that would be like? Feel GRATEFUL you are not her, and realize that her presence in your life is much larger than it appears to be at this time. Its a learning lesson, you are here to grow, know and learn, and a difficult person in your life is ALWAYS a learning lesson, its a learning lesson ABOUT YOURSELF. About how you will react to difficult people and situations, about how you handle situations and people, about what kind of person YOU ARE in relation to your experience with another difficult human being.

Imagine that everyone got along and it was a "Mutual admiration society" that would only happen in an idealistic perfect world. Noones perfect and this has nothing at all to do with religion. This has to do with the fact that people are thrown into situations to learn and discover who THEY are, not really as much who the other person is.

Be thankful this opportunity came your way because it teaches you coping skills, it teaches and shows you what kind of person you are, and if you fail this test, it sets the tone for a really crappy life where you overreact to other people because you had to put up with someone else constantly overreacting to you. If what you are implying is true, you're supposedly the good guy, well don't let a lesson in life take that away from you. Learn never to have negative people mold you into another negative person. Have the consciousness to realize this is an opportunity for you to be a peacemaker..and now, and in the long run, you will always remember this and it will make sense.

There are two ways to choose to live life. One is to live life miserably and let others bring you down to their level, and two, is to live life with great creativity and compassion and not allow them to bring you down. Show them love and compassion and help them and then eventually release them if they will not grow up and change for the good.

In the end, what you must be concerned with is remaining unscathed in the midst of "Problematic people", because its never a reflection of you really, its a reflection of them.

Don't ever confuse the two.

Answer 2

Good Boy, helpin moms out. Your sister is not your sister right now, it's drugs talking and doing everything for her. I don't know the situation but it sounds like you and your family need to pull an intervention on her. It sounds like you have no insurance so find a pastor or other good speaking professional that you or your family knows and call her out all together about the drug and alcohol use. She will probably run but then she knows you all are on to her and that you want her to do something about it. There might be more money for your family if she were spending more at home instaed of the drug house and drinking. The bottom line is she has a problem and as much as I know you hate her right now, she's your sister and you would like to see her right agian because you love her. So talk to your family about it and act. The sooner the better.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

Well it sounds like she is very immature and needs all the help that she can get, But not everybody grows up. You should tell her she dont always need to be mean and she should grow up, tell her to go get some help it could even be the alchol or maybe there is something bothering her that she acts like this. But no matter what your family and you just will have to deal with it or think of a way to work around it.

Answer 4

WOW, why doesn't she go get a job? If I were you, I would talk to your mom about how she is being, and tell her she needs to have a talk with her and tell her she is living in HER home and she needs to start showing respect to EVERYONE, if she doesn't like it she can get out and find herself her own job, you are 19, you are just getting started, what is her excuse? If you really want her out you need to talk to your mom and tell her she doesnt need that crap, I know she is her daughter but still, she needs to take care of herself and if her daughter is treating her this way, she cant do that. If you do go to kick her out you may want to have a cop come over there to make sure she takes ONLY her things.

Answer 5

It is the drugs and the alcohol that are making her the person that she is. The unfortunate part is there is not much that you can do about that but have her committed to a rehab. She will probably hate you for that but she would hate you clean and sober and alive. As for you dealing with her tantrums contact your local ALA-TEEN. They are skilled at helping young people with drug addicts in their lives to cope with the ups and downs of it all. Your mother and father also need to step up as the parents and get control of this situation. Good Luck with it all, it will be a long hard road.

Answer 6

Ok here is the thing, at twenty one years of age your sister is a grown adult. Now she might be a failure of an adult but she is an adult. In any apartment complex, there are rules. If she paid her rent, and proceded to ***** out management it is in the contract they can kick her out. Regardless. If she walked in paid her rent, and twenty minutes later was a *****.... they could kick her out and by law not give her rent check back. That is how adulthood is. She is twenty one years old. To put it bluntly, regardless if your poor or not, your parents have no obligation to let a grown daughter ***** her out. And to be honest, if I were your mother, the rabbit would be gone one day when she came home and food wasted would be coming out of some sort of rent. At nineteen, you may get a break but at 21 your sis needs to pony up some rent.

Answer 7

I live with a b*tchy sister to I know how it is sadly
My sister is very cloe minded and is very unreasonable to
Its to the point where I can't stand her
I alwasy avoid her and stay away from whatever she is doing but of course don't let her interfer with that ever you want to do
As for the yelling and screamin at everyone you need to tell her to cool it and give her a taste of her own medicine
that soudns harsh but she has to see what she is doing and how it is affecting people

Answer 8

It's probably hormones.. either that or she's going through some personal emotional things. Get used to it. She'll calm down in a few years (and then you'll have to deal with it from your wife).
Truthfully, I'm female, do you want to know the best way to deal with it?.... Either try and ignore it or try and be super kind. I can guarantee you that she doesn't want to be this way.
Further, try and remember that guys aren't a real picnic either... you guys simply don't notice the annoying things you do... lol

Answer 9

Keep your mouth shut and stay in your room, or get a job or two and move out.

Why did your mom come home from work and have to do the dishes? Why didn't you already have them done for her since she's still supporting you at your age?

Answer 10

you've dealt with her for 19 years. Once you have enough money just move out and don't deal with her BS anymore. I ago through the same thing with my sister, shes a total jerk and is always disrespectful to my parents. You just gotta continue life until your mature enough or rich enough to move out.