My daughter is 22 and stubborn as the day is long-yes, I suppose she gets it from me.
My daughter used to respect me but the last 3 years her behaviour has changed-Not for the better.
She has been rude and selfish. I have always given to her without reservation.
She married someone I do not like and has a daughter of her own now. I am the Grandmother technically but she has not allowed me to see the baby because I don't like her husband.
I offered to stay at a hotel, just to see them and not him, it would only be for 3-4 days since they live in Florida and I live in Ohio. She declined my offer without hesitation. She does not call or write me. I have told her some pretty hateful things in retailiation to her and her husband's mistreatment of me. I have been waiting for her to apologize but nothing. The baby is now 14 months old and I fear she will never know me.
I think my daughter is extremely unfair to use a tactic like this to hurt me.
2007-09-03 10:27:33 · 12 answers · asked by Lorraine C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Talk it out, life is to short for crap, go talk to her.
2007-09-03 10:31:46 · answer #1 · answered by kim t 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is no longer a child. She is married and has a child. You need to respect that she has no need to tolerate anybody who disrespects her family. Her husband and her child IS her family now.
You need to eat some crow. Apologize, then apologize again. You don't have to like her husband, you just have to be polite.
All I am hearing is how much she has hurt you. You don't think you have hurt her by disliking her husband? Even if he is satan, she chose him. You didn't have a vote as far as I can tell.
You have a long row to hoe on this one. Ask for your daughter's forgiveness, but only if you can understand that you have no power in this situation and you mean what you say. She will allow you into her life when there is no threat that you will hurt her or her family.
2007-09-03 17:38:23 · answer #2 · answered by New Shews 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will not care who was right if something happens to one of you. Stop the nonsense. Life is way too short and you do not know when the end is coming or for who it will come first. This is all stupid stuff. So you don't like her husband, you do not have to live with him so suck it up and paste on that fake smile when you have to deal with him. Your daughter should realize that husbands can come and go but she only has one mother. Forget the petty nonsense and forget who is right and wrong. Do you love each other? they stop wasting valuable time and make it up to each other and behave like loving mother and daughter.
Sorry to tell you this Mom but you are wrong. If it were me and you were openly disliking my husband I would not be too happy with you either. To ask her to come see you with the baby and not the husband/father was just asking for a great big No Thanks. I do not blame your daughter or her husband for how they act, you kind of asked for it all. You need to apologize if you have any hope of making things right. Accept the husband if you want your grandchild. it is as simple as that. If you make your daughter choose between her husband and you, you will and should loose.
2007-09-03 18:12:07 · answer #3 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's obvious that right doesn't equate to happy, so one of you will have to put aside the reason for the disagreement, forgive the other and move forward.
leave the discord behind. the hateful things you've said and say to each other only perpetuate the disharmony. mom, just apologize and leave the door open. the man your daughter chose may be an unfortunate choice in your eyes, but she made the choice. there are 2 sides to everything; your daughter may be right in disagreeing with your reasons for disliking her husband, or she may be too stubbor or embarrassed to admit she made a poor choice (she may never say you're right).
you want to salvage your relationship with your child and hope to see your grandchild...mend the fence and leave your gate open.
best wishes to all of you that you reconcile sooner rather than later. i hope to never have such an experience with my daughters; i can [only] imagine how it must feel.
2007-09-03 17:57:39 · answer #4 · answered by loving 40+ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to her house and talk to her, try your hardest to put up with her husband, even if you have to fake it all!
At the end of the day, you want to see your granddaughter and your daughter.
This situation is exactly like the one with my boyfriends sister and her mum, so her mum went to see her and just is civil to him, even though he is a nasty man.Basically if you want to move on, you have to see her and have a good talk and be the bigger person and apologise because life is too short for stuff like this.
Oh and if it's since she has been with this man she's turned nasty, has she ever shown signs of him beating her? I know it's horrible to think about but you never know, it may be the reason your not aloud to see the child?
2007-09-03 19:03:58 · answer #5 · answered by ColeyMo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you should apologize for what you have done wrong, saying hateful things.
After that, it depends on how much you want to see your granddaughter and how much you want to avoid your son-in-law. It is generally prudent to be polite to your child's spouse, so unless he's done something to make this impossible, you should probably do that. You don't have to like him, you just have to be civil. Let them know that you are willing to "agree to disagree."
But if your daughter still doesn't want to see you or let her daughter see you, you may be out of luck, at least for now.
Whatever you do, use your brain, as your emotions may cause trouble.
2007-09-03 17:59:23 · answer #6 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well she is married now. You have no say about that. She is an adult. But I do think you to can work through it. Let her figure out who she is now. Just keep trying to talk to her. Never give that up. You are and always will be her mother and you should always be there for her no matter what.
2007-09-03 17:44:50 · answer #7 · answered by ktdmama3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it doesn't matter if we are right or not. We just have to concede to things and love each other. As long as she knows you don't like her husband there is going to be tension between the two of you. Nobody says you have to like him but its her husband so you may have to respect that. I have pushed people away in my life by telling them how I felt too, becasue of the need to get it off of my chest. You're the one that you hurt when you do that, becasue it pushes them away and they don't want you in there life. Just show her you love her and accept him as her husband and that you want them in your life.
2007-09-03 17:35:30 · answer #8 · answered by The Wižard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is an awful situation for you.
But why do you not like her husband, is he into drugs are violence?
If it is for a petty reason, i think that you would be in the wrong.
but it is the lowest of the low not to let you see your grandaughter
2007-09-03 17:35:01 · answer #9 · answered by zippy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you might not like him, but she loves him. not liking him is hurting her... imagine how you would feel if someone didnt like your daughter and singled her out like that.
be the adult and show her you can put your feeling aside
2007-09-03 17:35:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋