we are having a hard time creating a guest list that won't hurt feelings. we want to have a small wedding but our family's are quite big, how do I get out of asking every family member to the wedding? Are there any nice ways to do it?
2007-09-03 09:29:04 · 14 answers · asked by Krysta 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Okay I forgot to mention and see that it may be important to some of the responses. This state park is in the middle of no where so lodging is limited as well...there are camp sites available for relatives. we have the main cabin for my parents/siblings and his parents/siblings, its a little nicer. This may add to the initial question and help with some ideas that you all may have...Thanks a bunch for the help already I do like some of the ideas
2007-09-03 12:28:39 · update #1
When discussing your wedding in front of people, always say that you and your fiance are having a very small, very intimate ceremony. Start with parents, g-parents, brothers, sisters on your list. Then add the absolute closest of any remaining relatives.
2007-09-03 09:36:36 · answer #1 · answered by sam1230 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If the guests are mature and it is explained to them that it's outdoors, they shouldn't have a problem with it. It's your special day not their's. Yes they may want to wish you both well and they can do that with a card or a little note. The cabins might even turn some off. Limit your guest list as you must but thank them for their best wishes.Don't expect a wedding gift though , except from family and those who are closest to you.
After your wedding, when you have the time and a little money. through a home party or a BBQ......weather permitting. This way they won't be completely left out and you may get some more lovely gifts. Keep that casual and something easy to make. Ask for the people to bring a dish if you can't afford to feed everyone. It can be as simple as hot dogs and hamburgers. The important thing is to make them a part of your wedding...............even if it's after. Let them know that your wedding is limited space and while you would love them to come, you must have a cut-off number as it is necessary.
Don't forget the Thank you cards for the wedding and a nice get-together for the rest of them. That should make everyone feel not left out.
Some people get married bungee jumping or parachuting from an airplane. There is no one right there except the two of them. It's your wedding and you deserve to have it the way you want it. Only the wedding invitations you send out , are the ones invited. Don't forget to put Mr and Mrs. or Ms or whatever they want to be called. Proper etiquette dictates that on a Mr. and Mrs. it is just for them and not their children.
The proper RSVP, if they are coming would be one or two. May God Bless your marriage. +
2007-09-10 16:38:06 · answer #2 · answered by luv2seashore1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your right to have the wedding you want. If that means keeping it small and intimate, and not inviting every single aunt, uncle and cousin, then that's what it means. Most people today understand that weddings have limits on how many can be invited, and those who don't have never planned one. Eventually, there have to be cuts in the guest list.
What you can do is send formal announcements to those you could not invite. Those are typically mailed the day of or the day after the wedding. Wording generally is as follows:
Parents of bride
and
Parents of groom
announce the marriage of their children
bride
and
groom
on Saturday, September 1, 2007 (spelled out)
at
place
People understand that an announcement is not an invitation, yet realize that you thought enough of them to formally announce your marriage.
Don't worry about hurting feelings here, ok? This is your wedding. If someone's going to get bent out of shape over not being invited to the wedding, then they're not really a close friend, you know?
good luck!
2007-09-03 10:33:37 · answer #3 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guest lists are always tricky for this very reason. I fidn it's best to make a list of the people you MUST have attend (parents, silbings, wedding party, best friends, etc). then move out from there to the uncles, cousins, and other friends/coworkers.
MOST people will understand if they're not invited to a wedding, because they've been through it before or at least realize how much it can cost. anyone on your guest list you decide not to invite should recieve an announcement card and/or letter after the wedding. I sent people a photo of the wedding party announcing the wedding and summarizing how things went.
you can also have a party later for any in-town guests you don't invite, whenever you return form the honeymoon. most people just want a chance to wish you the best.
2007-09-03 11:25:19 · answer #4 · answered by Erica S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I got married in a park -- we were limited to 75 guests. We simply created two invitations -- those to the wedding and reception, and those to the reception. By doing this, when we sent invitations to everyone at the same time I feel there were less hurt feelings. Family members didn't ask about what others got for invitations -- they just talked about coming.
Most people recognize that you may not be able to have everyone at your wedding ceremony -- many will be glad they don't have to "sit through the boring stuff" and will be thrilled to just join you for the reception.
Don't worry about "offending" people who you can't invite to the ceremony -- your family should understand that you have limits to your wedding, and just be happy for you. Remember, if anyone says something to you -- act like they were the last "person" you cut -- "I really wanted you there, but it was either you or his grandmother -- I just couldn't ask him to not invite her" will put them in their place.
2007-09-03 09:50:00 · answer #5 · answered by mj69catz 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You start out by telling everyone it is going to be a very small private wedding, with only immediate family -- both sets of parents along with brothers and sisters. That way, instead of people expecting to come and NOT being invited, you have the opposite -- and the few people you CAN invite will be pleasantly surprised. If anyone is ungracious enough to ask "Why did SoAndSo get invited when I didn't?" tell them that you picked the names out of hat.
2007-09-03 09:48:45 · answer #6 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would limit guest list to parents and siblings only to minimize the hurt and invite everyone else to reception.
2007-09-03 09:37:44 · answer #7 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was concerned with my number also. I asked that there weren't any kids (of course aside for the immediate family). People were very nice about it, too. And some liked the idea of not having to watch their kids. That literally cut our list 1/3.
2007-09-07 09:34:21 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just invite parents, siblings, grandparents then have for the reception something for everyone to come to
2007-09-03 10:46:53 · answer #9 · answered by Rukia K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to draw a very specific line. if its siblings, then its all siblings. if its cousins, then its all cousins. if there are alot of kids, just have an adult only reception, only make sure the same rules apply to both families.
if his half of the room as 15 kids and yours weren't allowed to bring kids, they will be annoyed
2007-09-03 10:45:13 · answer #10 · answered by twosey ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋