HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS (Actual writings from
hospital charts)
1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
2007-09-03 06:21:46 · 28 answers · asked by angeleyes 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
2007-09-03 06:23:50 · update #1
OMG DAMNN FUNNY HAHAHA.. to think im a medical student!! HILARIOUS STAR
2007-09-04 04:28:41 · answer #1 · answered by AA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Should have given the hospital address. I could use a good pelvic exam on the floor. Is the hospital taking applications for employment? lol - keep em coming buddy.
2007-09-03 06:32:12 · answer #2 · answered by GENE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uh oh... i think i'm in trouble... cuz... i LOVE waffles (and coffee) and...i refuse autopsy...i'm always icy cold... O NO!!!!!!! NO HOSPITAL! PLZ!!! I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE MORE INSANE THEN I ALREADY AM!!! *starts panicking* o no o no nonononono!!! um... uh... O yeah! THATS why i conducted a human guinea pig experiment a few months ago! "And my Scientific Observation of this day, using Human Guinea Pigs, parents plus i, have conducted that An Apple a day REALLY DOES keep a doctor away" that is EXACTLY what i wrote on that one 20 page essay. :3 I finnished it in a week. 6 days for the experiment, one for typing.
2007-09-03 07:09:57 · answer #3 · answered by Tobie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
lmao any more thanks
nurse .. i said prick his boil
god aren`t nurses the greatest lovers
i made love to this beautiful nurse last night
you ain`t seen or done nothing till you make love to a nurse
go on get out meet a nurse you will never want another woman again
god .. i hope i have the same dream tonight
2007-09-03 07:19:49 · answer #4 · answered by itsa o 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nice 1
2007-09-03 06:26:46 · answer #5 · answered by HaSiCiT Bust A Tie A1 TieBusters 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hahahahahahahahahahaha.
funny.
2007-09-03 06:26:17 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Ulrich von Lichtenstein 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I think I got most of those. The ones I got made me laugh, so good job I guess.
2007-09-03 07:34:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It makes me want to go back to the hospital to see what funny what not they might have written on me.
2007-09-03 06:26:29 · answer #8 · answered by Jaydalyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
teehehe! those where funny, i hope i never have to go to a hospital with doctors that stupid! i gave u a star =B
2007-09-03 06:29:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excellent ones.!!!
Funny so 10/10.!!!
Thanks for a good laugh.!!!
Cheers.!!!
2007-09-03 06:26:13 · answer #10 · answered by JAM123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋