Why So Timid?

Question

I am a confident, poised, intelligent and beautiful asian indian female that is financially secure and independent. My problem is that I'm attracted to white men. Always have been. But why are they so timid? I get flirted with constantly...really, I have no trouble gaining their attention...but they won't make that first step. What gives?

Answer 1

Well maybe you should try a different approach.

Go up to them and introduce yourself, why are you always waiting for them to come up to you?
Are you sure you aren't the "timid" one here?

*Guys love girls with confidence, so since you're not coming up to them (either) they might assume you also are....."timid" and introverted.
*Give them a reason to want to talk to you, talk to them first.

Answer 2

I'm male, 35, married. Have had some time to think about male-female issues. Not all-knowing, but have asked similar type questions. I think it has to do with the Western culture, where the female has become so independent, resourceful, and has a much higher status than in the past. This is truly a great thing for women, and for human society as a whole. However, there is a learning curve to this new-found independence - I believe women have lost a lot of their "original" ability to nurture and "relax". The male has lost some of his identity as well, in the process. White men are "timid" (and many other things not mentioned here) because they do not know what it is to be a man anymore. We're lost. Women are lost, too. We'll all find our way back, but we'll all be dead by then, and maybe the year 2200 or something. Mother nature will figure it out. In the meantime, for practical purposes, ask a dude out, and hope he's not gay. Cheers!

Answer 3

This is simple really...it's the way we're being raised out here, or rather it's that we're not being raised out here! America is suffering a moral drought in our emerging generations...I'm only 50% white myself, but I'm guilty of the same thing, I'm shy in front of a pretty face, especially if the pretty face has a kind heart too (if she's intelligent-I'm done for!)...I'm speechless, you'd think I was retarded or something...but the funny, or sad thing is that that's not my personality at all, I'm loud, bold...I come into a room & you can't help but to see me, love me or hate me you'll notice me...it's just that I simply don't have the experience of dealing with beautiful women, especially if they're half as good as you just said you are, most people in my situation are not like me at all, most of them are timid because most of them are what we in America call a "nerd" or a "dork"-lol...I simply had a lot happening in my life on such a regular basis that I could never have the time to spend around women...but things are different for me now, better...and I'm sure that as soon as I've had the opportunity to hang around a girl of good quality for a nice little time, I'll stop being shy...she'll tell the people we both know in future times, "remember when he was quiet?"',lol!!! As a man I like to apologize to you & all the other fine-*** women of the world coming here to America and having to deal with this cr*p because of the actions of me and my fellow american brothers, we have no leaders here and so naturally we as a society are going to suffer a little until we can sort this out & find a new path for our life- so please bare with us for a moment, some of us here ar still worth the effort...sh*t I'll go so far as to say we have more raw good worthwhile people than a lot of places around the world. If you feel you're sacrificing something sweetheart, first consider what you're getting in return...which is greater?

Answer 4

society hates us, that may be part of it. and It's not all white guys by any stretch, I know a few guys who do very well for themselves, me i come and go.

You say 'white' guys so i imagine you're talking about the stereotypical white guy--- the stereotypical white guy who has a good job etc, was never very popular if he was popular and had lots of friends he likely would not be as successful as he is and likely work in construction or something. the geek like bill gates, was never really loved by women and the various insecurities that come with it. It's not untill we have the good job and stability that women want anything to do with me (maybe i'm just bitter). So we learn over the years to flirt and wait for a sign, don't get any bites don't notch it up. sometimes the flirting is just friendly/ playful, so you don't know....... let me stop rambling.

Answer 5

A fear of rejection basically, its human nature, but it can be more abundant in some people than in others, not including a racial matter. It just has to do with the person, its just a coincidence that you have been around timid dudes that happen to be white.

Good luck with this new found knowledge

Answer 6

timid people don't like to make the first move, because they don't want to be embarrassed. solution, you make the first move, and don't stop talking to them until they've asked you out, gives them a confidence boost and makes them less nervous to initiate the next date.

Answer 7

maybe you are communicating with men who aren't mature.

Communication & honesty are the keys to good relationships.
If that cant happen they aren't for you & you shouldn't want them anyway.
Some men are a little scared of assertive women also.
Anyway they have done you a favour haven't they.

Answer 8

well maybe its because they dont like you in that way because i hear that most guys do make the first step because we all get flirting confused with just being nice

Answer 9

Some men want to be the aggressor, others are uncertain of your motives.

Answer 10

dat happens often! some have this wierd idea that women of different races are different from them........but not all of them .....why don t you make a first move then..it could help!
good luck