In the traditional South, was it considered rude to compliment the hostess on the dinner that she has served?

Question

My mother, who grew up in Selma, Alabama, told me that in her society it was considered rude to praise the hostess for the food served at dinner, on the grounds that that implied that she was too poor to afford a kitchen staff. (My mother grew up during the Depression).

Could this be true?

Answer 1

I have never heard this before, and have grown up my entire life in the South. It seems to be false logic, however, as it would seem to be a compliment regardless - if you did have a kitchen staff, then the hostess would be complimented on their selection of kitchen staff rather than their abilities as a cook.

Answer 2

I suppose it could be. Etiquette in the south can be pretty severe. People who think southerners are hicks and backward rednecks would get a rude awakening when living with, or mingling with, southern people. You wouldn't believe how harshly they judge people who do not adhere to the rules of polite society. Some will not even bother to talk behind your back....they will cut you right where you stand with words for being rude, or not having proper etiquette, especially when a woman is involved.

Answer 3

I never heard this one before. I guess she grew up among the rich & then lost everything during the depression. I've never known a compliment to be rude unless it was said in a sarcastic way.

Answer 4

As a true GRITS (girl raised in the south), I've never heard of such. It's always appropriate to complement your hostess.

Answer 5

I've never heard that. I suppose you could get around it by thanking the hostess for the lovely meal (would be applicable if she cooked or her staff did).

Answer 6

No. Compliments are always appropriate.