He's 33 and I am 22.. 10 yrs difference.. Now he's my EX.... Was it a mistake dating an older man?

Question

I met him when I was 19 and we dated for 2 1/2 years. He cheated and now we not together. I thought maybe dating an older man would mean that he was more mature, ready to be in a serious relationship and accomplished more. But I have more accomplished at the age of 22 than he does at the age of 33. I have my own car, apartment, and a great job. He STILLS leaves with his mother. I feel like he's used me for show and took my love for granted, maybe because of the age difference. I still love him. Or maybe I should not relate maturity level with a person's age.

Answer 1

When you are that young, that is a huge age difference. Maybe when you reach age 30, 10 years isn't that much difference...but also look ahead if you do get married. Guys typically don't live as long as women, so that should be considered during your retirment years. He'd be 70 when you're 60.

Aside from that, you should date people close to your age for the reason that you are in similar stages of your life. Its not uncommon to date guys a few years older, but it is nice to be able to experience life in the same stages with the person you are with. I.E. Most decent guys who are 30 years old don't want to be dating girls who can't have a drink at dinner or meet his friends out at the bar. They would definitely like to sleep with 19-20 year old girls...but not have serious relationships with them. And this guy sounds like a loser living with his mom at age 33. If he was 24 and just finished college and is paying off student loans and saving up to buy a house, that is one thing. But being in his 30s and living at home is a big red flag. Do what your heart tells you to do, but don't sell yourself short either. You're only 22, you should be enjoying yourself and not trying to make a relationship work with an older guy just because he's older. I think the guys who are 22-23 and graduated college are a lot more mature than the 33 year old who can't afford his own apartment. Obviously other women his own age didn't view him as a great catch, otherwise he wouldn't be single into his 30s.

Answer 2

an own car , apartment , great job ....you had better enjoy ur life than thinking about the previous relations . Everything would have been nice without his cheating . How could u still think about someone who cheated u ? u r still young and surely u will meet many many aged men in your rest of life . Then u dont need to worry if you used to have made a mistake in the past . An aged man should be a man who is mature , caring , loves you and doesnt make u cry . Honestly , difference of age doesnt matter , all just depends upon what their hearts say .

Answer 3

You should have a car, job and your own place at the age of 22. He should definitely have his own place at 33. He needs to grow. Just because a man is older than you, that doesn't mean he is mature. No it wasn't a mistake dating an older man. Most older men date younger women for sex and show. You have nothing in common with a older man. Most 22 year old female are inmature. The only thing they are good for is sex and show, that is because that is the way they carry themselves. Most of them drink, smoke and hang out in the club. I don't know you to put you in that category.

Answer 4

It wasn't a mistake dating an older man, just like its not a mistake dating a younger man(which I was and now married to him) Its boils down to the maturity level. You cant group all older guys in the same category. When you start dating now matter how old, find out some things about them b4 you become serious. I.E. dreams, goals, conversation, and plans. All of those things would have given you a heads up!
Good Luck in the future.

Answer 5

Isn't that an 11 year difference?

33-22=11

22+10=32+1=33

Answer 6

OK some women like older men for all of the reasons you said bout girl if he stills lives with his mom that should have been a hint from the jump that he wasn't about nothing because if he was really about something don't you think that he would actually have his own place. but maybe you should date someone around your age maybe you'll like that better but u have to look, you ask questions to c if that the guy and if he not then trash him an look for something better and go from there just don't let them stay with there mom cuz honey you are a independent women and u don't have time for a mommas boy unless you really like him but other than that i suggest you not to do it, good luck

Answer 7

It is different for every single person. I am 26 and my husband is 52. We have been married since I was eighteen. We have a wonderful, loving relationship. He treats me like a goddess and you will find someone like that too. It doesn't matter if the person is 10 years younger or 10 years older. What matters is that person is a good fit for you and is willing to give you what you need.

Good Luck!

Answer 8

If the guy cheated on you, HE'S the one with the problem. However, we can't make these decisions based on the person's age. Being 31 myself, I've dealt with immature women ranging from 21 up to 42! The only thing you can do is treat the person the way you want to be treated. If they can't accept that, then it's time to move on.

Answer 9

Well, you are learning a valuable lesson. Maturity has nothing to do with age. A jerk is a jerk is a jerk, no matter how old he is.
Move on. That's the mark of true maturity, you know. Knowing when to say enough and liking yourself enough to get rid of a guy who doesn't deserve you.

Answer 10

A jerk is a jerk. Age does not matter. There are lots of nineteen year old jerks. So forget the age and watch out for jerks, they are usually easy to identify. Do not fool yourself. Many women are delusional when it comes to men. Look more carefully.