What Has Happened To Our Good Manners? Why Are So Many People So RUDE These Days?

Question

Here in the South, we pride ourselves on good manners and a proper upbringing. We try to teach our children how to properly behave toward others. Slowly, these cherished values are eroding. What is causing this? What do you think?

EDIT: To UNDECIDED, you are correct. Unfortunately, so many people have moved down here from other places and they have brought their rudeness with them. Please don't tar us all with the same brush. People born and raised here really are nicer people to deal with than the "imports".

Answer 1

Parents are so convinced their children can do no wrong the children believe it and always go one step further

Answer 2

It is bad upbringing. Look to the parents. There are their children's first role models. My 4th cousins are undisciplined, rude and disrespectful. Why? Their father died and their mother went south. She didn't parent them most of the time. When she went to jail, they were home schooled very badly by an aunt (her sister). All they did was look up the answers in the back of the book. When they returned to public school, they were so far behind it was pathetic. How do you try to teach the right things to a 14 and 17 yr old? It is too late. There has been some bashing about day care. Most children don't learn social skills and behavior until they start school. Just because they are being raised by a stay at home mom doesn't mean they are learning the right things. Many adults don't behave appropriately themselves. They think it is cool or something. Put down humor is on the rise. Sarcasim isn't appealing or attractive. Children see adults acting like that and they emulate it. Parents these days are lazy and clueless about child development guidelines and social training.

Answer 3

Stan,
good question. I often see on inclimate weather days how all forms of civility are forgotten by people in a "rush" to get to where they want to be. On these days (as on other regular days) I still make it a point to allow a woman to exit the elevator before I do, or hold the door open for a woman or another if we enter at the building at the same time.

Reasons why common courtesy and basic forms of dignity have eroded and continue to wane? Likely many, but suggestions of cause are all around us. Instant "everything", give it "now", and "it's all about me" syndrome. The best you can do is the best you can do - meaning if you help someone, teach someone, remind someone of some thing good then maybe as individuals we can all give something to each other as opposed to taking from one another.

I enjoy watching the Space Shuttle take off (on-line) in replays. With each new mission there is more scientific research that will benefit mankind as a whole - no matter how small. As Americans we are conquering the outerspace, but no one seems to spend much time on conquering the "inner space". I didn't mean for this to be so long an answer - but now you have a perspective of one person.

Gerry

Answer 4

I think there are many reasons, and I could probably write an essay on it! However, I think one prominent reason is that society today is very career focused. While I agree that careers and working is important, and that any man or woman should pursue a career, family life has taken second place.

Many kids are rushed to day cares and don't receive the attention or time that they once did when women stayed at home. I'm certainly not saying that it's a woman's role to be a stay at home mom, but I am saying that perhaps the lack of "family time" is a problem. Young children pick up behaviours from what they see around them, and those behaviours can remain a life time. So if they are usered off to day care or other places where they don't have good role models to follow, then this could be why they grow up to be more rude than those who had their parents teaching them and bieng role models right from day 1.

Answer 5

I think people do not take the time to look around. I have noticed that wherever I am, people put too much emphasis on themselves and not on their surroundings. We live in a disposable society - marriage not working, don't fix it, get a divorce. Something get broken? First the question should be why it was broken but then getting another one to replace it is the final conclusion. Not many people are held accountable for their actions and figure that bulldozing others is just the way to get what you want. Never mind the feelings of others. Rudeness can be stopped. Instead of letting it bother you, smile to the rude person, get out of their way and enjoy what you were doing in the first place. Maybe they will get it, maybe they won't. You don't have to let it get to you. Set an example. Do unto others ... karma, whatever it takes. Smile, be happy and you will teach this to the people around you.

Answer 6

Thank you for typing this question! I have lived all over the country and in some parts of the world now I live in the south. I so looked forward to some southern hospitality. Unfortunatly I found that everytime I walk out of the house I am sickend by how rude people truely are here. I have never met so many fly off the handle angry people. I am one of those people that like to keep things peaceful but have found myself crack when doors slam in my face... I am being stared at ... when I want to spend my money and I do not even get a hello from a clerk! I am tired of the hipocracy of the south. I am sure there are still some southern belles and truely welcoming wonderful people in the south and I aplaude them and hold them in great esteem. To the rest of you disgracful, rude, volgar angry people..... get over yourselves and join the human race once again. Please hold the door for people.... say a simple excuss me .... do not push people out of your way.... be helpful and kind. Share a smile and try not to think the world is against you. By the way many of you are writting about parenting.... just because you have peice of **** parents doesnt mean you have to be a peice of **** too! Make a change!!!

Answer 7

Boy I encountered a very rude person just yesterday and she was with a friend and children. I really don't know why there is so many rude ignorant persons WITHOUT manners. But I will tell you that it is definately rooted in their personality they have had an upbringing that did not teach them to be compasionate towards another person.

Answer 8

Honestly, I think the root is the overstimulation that our world provides. We have become conditioned into thinking that we can instantly be gratified in every aspect of life. People simply arnt as grateful anymore for the effort that use to be put into things such as spending money, and a well cooked meal.

...And People on the street? Forget it, you may as well not exist considering the self-centered natures that are growing today.

Answer 9

I agree. I'm 15 and I have more manners than a 30 year old these days. Simple things like holding the door for someone or saying 'Excuse me' is the thing of the past now. Customer service is extinct and simple 'Hello' or 'How are you doing?' are dead. And I live in the South too.

But but but, you have to see the conditions people are living and working in these days. People have stress coming from their partner, job, family, bills, news, everywhere.

Take Bill for example. His partner is whining about fixing the coffemaker and why their favorite contestant didn't win on whatever reality show he's/she's talking about while he's trying to go to work. While driving to work, he has to deal with bad drivers who get in front of him and drive very slow and one driver that almost causes an accident. After finally getting to work, Bill is 20 minutes late and his boss threatens to fire him for the 3rd time this month. Before he can even get settled into his work, Bill has to deal with a customer who thinks the world revolves around them. He tries everything he could but the customer just isn't satisfied. Finally, the customer tells Bill "I'll take this to your boss."

For the rest of the day, Bill has to deal with rude customers and immature co-workers. As soon as Bill opens the door to his house, his son wants $30 for whatever reason and his daughter NEEDS a ride to the mall. He gives them whatever they want just as long as they leave him alone. After taking his daughter to the mall, Bill sits down to relax, turns on the TV and what does he see: "800 people were killed after a suicide bomber disrupted the Middle East." "America is the fattest nation in the world." "Teens as young as 12 are having oral sex." He turns off the news after an hour and his partner is cooking dinner. They sit down to eat, minus their children, and discuss their bills. They get into a huge arguement and don't talk to each other for the rest of the night. Bill's daughter comes in the house, talking on her cell phone, while giving her parents a simple wave. Skip a few hours and it's 2:00 AM and the House of Bill is sound asleep, minus Bill's son who tries to sneak in with his girlfriend/boyfriend. Bill hears him but is too tired and stressed out to confront him. Doesn't that sound like an everyday situation? You can't always be sunshine and lollipops all the time. Does this give people the excuse to be rude? No but it's usually the cause of it.

Answer 10

Somehow we have let society guide us and in order to be liked by others we have let our social graces fall to the wayside. When we started letting others tell us how to raise our children properly, our own old family traditions went out the window.
It is said that it "Takes a Village to Raise a Child" . . . . and I don't buy into that. It takes parents who care enough to pay attention, discipline and love, regardless what the rest of the neighborhood parents and kids are doing.
Getting a kid to say please and thank you these days is like getting a steak at McDonalds . . . . it ain't gonna happen because they haven't been trained to do that properly.

Answer 11

Popular culture - music, TV, cinema, radio and even dress transmit too many negative values. People are rude because families no longer sit at the (same) table to eat anymore. Folks are rude because thank you and your welcome are only used by the weak. Good morning and enjoy your food are phrases used by "old fashion" people. I could go on and on because it's something that irks me (too). I grew up in the North - and I wouldn't ever dare call my friend's parents by their first names. My relatives were always addressed with uncle this or auntie that - never by their 1st names. Seems like it's all gone to hell. This is why I've chosen to raise my children away from America.