I'm gonna be 20 next year & I still haven't had a girlfriend, still a virgin(obviously), prostitutes don't count for me so don't even go there. I'm a college sophmore already, am I one of very few people like this?, should I just kill myself since I'm never gonna get a girlfriend?, I feel I missed out on too much fun already, I sometimes don't see the point of having a girlfriend now since I didn't have one earlier, how many people do you know out there 20 or older & have never had a boyfriend/girlfriend?, all I've done is kiss a girl, like tongue to tongue, which was through truth or dare. I've never asked a girl out before & I don't bother because I know girls will flat-out reject me, I don't bother asking for girls numbers because I know they will say "I have a boyfriend, blah blah blah", which pisses me off because that shows I wasted my breath talking to them. As for the suicide part, I take Anti-Depressants & I already have a Psychologist, anyway, I feel worthless & pathetic
2007-09-02 23:41:01 · 26 answers · asked by introvertedguy06 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I get tired of people saying over & over "you haven't met the right one", or "there is someone out there for everyone", shut the **** up with that ****, I don't care if I have a serious girlfriend or not, I just want a random hot girl who will talk to me, cuddle with me, hang out with me, etc. I have Asperger Syndrome, which is a reason why I'm not that social with girls, I also don't have a lot of friends of my own sex either, but right now I'm worried about my luck with the opposite sex, cause c'mon, being a college sophmore & almost 20 is kinda late for not dating & not having a girlfriend yet, most people have their first boyfriend/girlfriend in high school, & by the time people are 18, 19 or 20, they have had at least 4 or 5 boyfriends/girlfriends already!!!!!. It's not fair, how do guys pull hot girls so easily?, like what are the magic words?, I think I need Will Smith, a.k.a. Hitch's help.
2007-09-03 00:01:37 · update #1
I hope I don't become like Steve Carrell in The 40-Year Old Virgin. First of all, I don't collect action figures, I don't ride a bike, I know how to drive a car, I have a car, a 2004 Honda Civic. I don't care whether I have a serious relationship or a non-serious one, I JUST WANT A FREAKIN' GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!, I'M TIRED OF GOING OUT IN PUBLIC WATCHING PEOPLE HOLDING HANDS & KISSING, I GET SO JEALOUS OF THEM, LIKE I FEEL I'LL NEVER EXPERIENCE THAT!!!!!!!.
2007-09-03 00:17:26 · update #2
it would really make me feel better if I can relate to people who are in the same situation as me, 19 & older who have never had a boyfriend/girlfriend, or 20 & older since I am almost 20, let me know if you know people who are in the same boat as me.
2007-09-04 15:14:32 · update #3
You have Asberger's, so you have an extra hard time being social with anyone. That just means that you have to work 100X as hard as anyone else to even have a conversation with another person, Add the opposite sex into the mix and everything goes to hell! Is there anyone whom you trust that you can get to be sort of a "social coach" for you? You are very well spoken in your writing, are you able to converse as well as you write? I was 24 before I had a boyfriend. (Very nerdy) I would tell you to try just being a friend first. then let it build into something more. I can hear your pain and frustration. Hang in there.
2007-09-10 22:47:28 · answer #1 · answered by booper 3 · 0⤊ 5⤋
I am 20 yrs. old, going to 21 next month and I still have never had a boyfriend. In my opinion you don't even really seem to care about whether or not that you have/had a girlfirend before, because you actually want one. You just want to have a girlfriend because most other people our age have already been around. I won't lie to you and say that I'm not bothered by the fact that I haven't ever been on a date before. It's just that you have already given up before you even tried, saying that you already know that they're going to reject you. Sometimes your attitude of yourself reflects onto others, if you think that your worthless other people will think that there's something wrong with you. I'm not saying any of this to be mean to you or anything, I'm just telling you what I think is the truth. I apologize if I sound rude and if I hurt your feelings in any way. But you have to learn that is there nothing wrong with you at all everyone is different and everyone sees eachother differently. Who knows you may even meet someone that you like? I'm not saying that you will, I am just saying that there is always a chance.
2007-09-10 22:32:34 · answer #2 · answered by koneko_bombay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A part of me wants to say that it will happen when you open yourself for it, try and let it happen.
I am 21 since december, never had a boyfriend till about a month after I turned 21. I'm single now and had my first heartbreak this year, but believe me i am TOTALLY over him! In between my last relationship and now, I have noticed how much I've changed when it comes to talking to guys! I've changed A LOT! I guess my main problem was that I wasn't letting it happen. Now I let things happen if there is potential (don't be desperate and take any opportunity!). I didn't lose my virginity till... not even a week ago! Things happen for a reason and I don't regret starting this late. When I was ready, I let it happen.
Don't be afraid to open up to girls. Once you start it becomes more natural.
I don't think you should worry about it. Not everyone will naturally develop in certain areas of their life. You might be hesitant in developing in this area because you feel like you're behind already or not sure where to start. Just act like you know, forget that you've barely done anything compared to the rest of your peers!
2007-09-10 23:15:56 · answer #3 · answered by xTiNA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're still young. I know it doesn't seem like it, but you are. I'm 30, as is my husband. We live by a university (he's a student at one the affiliated grad schools) and the other day we were either walking or driving and we passed a group of college girls walking. I made a comment how it just seemed like yesterday that I was that young and tiny and now they seem very young and taht they're still kids. I'm not exactly tiny around the middle now as I'm nine months pregnant. When we conceived, I had 170 pounds on my six foot frame. Now I'm about 35 pounds heavier. I'm not freaked out that I've gotten "fat" or that I'll have excess weight, I was just feeling like a big blob of pregnancy.
My husband has a sister who is 21 and in college. She has also been thinking the same way-- That she'll never have a serious relationship, never get married, have children, etc. I guess it's common at that age.
When my husband and I met, he had just turned 21 the month prior and I was two months away from 21. Before him, I wold date older men, because that's just the way things worked out. I was his first real girlfriend. Yet, he was much more mature and serious and "better", for lack of a better synonym, than some of the older men I had dated. For that matter, at the time my husband and I met, I was casually dating a man who was older than me, by about ten years, who was very commitment-phobic. I liked him and liked hanging out with him. I told him that I wouldn't wait for him. (Supposedly, he and his girlfriend had broken up, but she was still living with him. Yeah. That's feasible.) One day, I phoned him, told him that I started to date somebody and I wanted to be serious with him and that we couldn't see each other anymore. He was upset, but I wasn't, too much. (This all started when I said a prayer of desperation, a mustard seed of faith, and a Yahoo! Personals ad that I placed.) Since then, God has been the first personf our marriage.
Anyway, you don't "know" if a girl will turn you down. My parents always told me that I won't know if I don't ask. (This was usually when I wanted to ask for something that I wouldn't normally get and it was usually preceded by no. Yet, since it always wasn't preceded by no, I would still ask.)
You don't know if you don't try or ask. Yes, girls can sense confidence, so what are you emitting, consciously or subconsciously? I'm not sure, either at 20 or 30, I would want to date a man who is way too hard on himself.
2007-09-03 00:08:36 · answer #4 · answered by Vegan_Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are you treating yourself like crap? you should be feeling good about yourself because when you do girls will notice. when they see a guy who is confident enough to ask them out or who wants to spend time with them they see a guy worthy of their presence. You are probubly more attractive and charismatic than you give yourself credit for, I have a friend in the same predicament as you and that is his problem. Another thing might be that you are picking the wrong girls to want to be in a relationship with. There are alot of girls who may not be the prettiest on the outside but still have beautiful personalities, you dont have to have the cream of the crop. These girls wanna be loved to. So what are you waiting for? be daring and make your move your times not up yet....
2007-09-10 18:52:04 · answer #5 · answered by mr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, I'll be 27 in a couple of weeks and I've done less than you. It's partly because I'm shy. Then when a guy talks to me, it's the corny "hey lightskinned" lines. They never seem to be my type.
You're still young, you don't have to have the same experiences as the majority. This doesn't mean you will never meet someone. Stick with your therepist and gain the confidence to socialize with girls. Once you have more confidence in yourself, you will have a better outcome. Don't feel bad because you haven't had a wild lifestyle of casual sex with a variety of women. You're really better off in that department.
2007-09-02 23:50:23 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what a wrong way to look at the situation, i am almost 19, i have had only one bf, it lasted a month, my point is, the ball is in ur court, u want something, u don sit and feel sorry for yourself, u ask a girl out, there r 18, 19 year olds who would like a boyfriend, look at this way, u could be the reason that someone hasnt had a boyfriend, i mean if u don ask someone out,and as for the suicide side of things, u would want to kill yourself for something like a realtionship. anyway it is ur life
2007-09-10 20:12:21 · answer #7 · answered by angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you mean dude, really I do. But you seriously need to cool it. I don't think it's a matter of you finding the right person anyway, I think when the time is right and you're not thinking about it too much, something or someone great will fall into your lap. You may think you have a lot of things working against you but you also have a lot of things working for you. For one you are in college and have a car, so just wait man, it'll be cool.
2007-09-05 05:45:47 · answer #8 · answered by cRazY8s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be positive. The reason for this is because you are mature, girls your age go after guys that are mostly immature, in time as you age you will find a girl on your level who is also mature. You sound better than most people your age. Maybe try an older girl, around 25, who is more mature like you.
2007-09-02 23:45:17 · answer #9 · answered by ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont be so hard on yourself. If you rush it it will be a desperation and not a happy relationship...I never got a Tongue kiss till I was 25...The best part of my life STARTED at about 24 or so....take it slow man....dont get worried till your like 50....party have fun and dont think so negative the grass is greener on the other side....try to think of more positive things...then the fun comes (including the girls) no one wants to be around someone who is negative all the time. Maybe try excercise to your diet that helps alot when Im down in the dumps.
2007-09-02 23:46:40 · answer #10 · answered by Sandy B 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋