God lived in er...Khulala(since heaven wasn't created yet) with His dear angels. One day Lucifer saw that God's golden chair imbedded with diamonds looked way too tempting so he thought of something EVIL! So he gathered some angels to his room and said:
L: I declare myself as God! You will all join me and dethrone that old retarded man! Come now!
Lucifer and his angels approached God with their magical staffs.
G: What are you trying to do?!
L: Surrender old man! For I have come to personally FIRE your azz!
G: How dare you!!!???
God and Satan now started to cast their most potent spells agains each other!
L: "Avada Kadavra"
G: "Expelliarmus"
L: "Finite Incantatum"
G: "Morsmorde"
After days of relentless struggling between them...Satan offers his fatal blow
L: "Crucio !"
2007-09-02 21:43:27 · 19 answers · asked by Wild Tiger 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
God was unable to withstand the power of Lucifer and fell to His knees.
L: Ha Ha Ha...I now take your position and officially become "GoD"!
G: Y..o..u……y…o..u
L: From now on I will create little pesky humans as toys I will torture! I will become
The ultimate sexist! I will indulge slavery! And I will murder relentlessly!!! MuHaHaHaHaaa! And as for you!(Pointing towards ‘former’ God with his staff) I will now curse you to become a “serpent” and I officially will name you “SATAN”! “Serpensortia!”
G:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!...
L:And of course…I will create little dumblings among the humans called “Christians”, these Xtians will love me and obey me despite my wicked nature! They will be the most delusional among them all!MUHAHAHAHAHA!
2007-09-02 21:43:41 · update #1
This is why you shouldnt take acid and read books simultaneously.
2007-09-02 21:48:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
For Christians, God is the absolute truth and His words can be found in the bible.
Since your historical account is not in the bible and since the bible is the sole authority, this passage would not test faith but be viewed as another attempt to move the discussion from God's revelation to man's imagination.
Answer: Give a choice between God's words and man's words, my faith is in God.
2007-09-02 21:59:52 · answer #2 · answered by J. 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I believe there might be something similar to your story in the satanic bible. Are you a satanist. You need the love of God
2007-09-02 22:06:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
LMFAO! +1 to the Harry Potter comment
2007-09-02 21:51:31 · answer #4 · answered by Zakk Myles 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Dan Brown, stay out of Y A.
2007-09-02 21:59:20 · answer #5 · answered by Jeff E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Step away from the Harry Potter books and nobody gets hurt.
2007-09-02 21:48:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 1⤋
Thank you for the amusement I got from reading this, nice premise for a book maybe. :)
2007-09-02 21:59:05 · answer #7 · answered by Thor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm nonplussed. Where's the test?
Where's the beef???
Where's Waldo???
Is this NOT making enough sense for you yet???
2007-09-02 23:16:34 · answer #8 · answered by RIFF 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Coming soon to a Theater near you...
2007-09-02 21:50:29 · answer #9 · answered by Dr. Facepalm 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
And why should anyone take your account seriously?
Do you have witnesses?
Do you have the Spirit testifying to the truth of it?
No. you just have an absurd story to tell because rather than try to understand Christianity you dont want to so you mock it instead.
if you understood it, youd understand the law of witnesses. youd understand the power of the Holy Ghost to the convincing of people the truth of all things.
Faith is a firm knowledge of the truth. It comes from personal revelation from God. Everyone is entitled to it. Few actually try to get it.
2007-09-02 21:49:56 · answer #10 · answered by Avatar_defender_of_the_light 6 · 0⤊ 6⤋