How can I stop feeling so much pain? My dad died at 11:52 PM. It's 1:54 Am now. I can't sleep or eat anything, and haven't since he had the heart attack two days ago. He went into cardiac arrest while in the hospital recovering from the heart attack. I'm lost. I don't know what to do. I don't want anyone around me, I don't want to do anything. How can I stop feeling so much pain?
2007-09-02 19:55:53 · 118 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
May Allah bless his soul and give u and ur family that patience to move on in life without him. i cant say anything to make u feel good cause nothing in the world can compensate ur loss. All can do is tell u to use this time to read Quran Pak and pray for ur father and plz consider this that u have a family who also depends on u ,try to pull it together, i m really very sorry. MAY ALLAH GUIDE U. ALLAHAFIZ
2007-09-03 05:34:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 2⤋
I am so, so sorry for your loss and my heart goes out to you tonight!
My own father died of liver failure two days after Christmas this last year and shortly after Easter my grandmother was killed in a car accident. I thought I would die of the pain, I cried so much, and I am not a crier.
It's normal to loose your appetite and sleep badly when you're under severe stress. If this continues, though, you may want to tell your doctor or get some counseling from someone at the hospital (they often have those types of services available for the family).
What you're feeling is normal, and it is best to allow yourself to do what you have to to get through the next week. Your mind will probably be kept busy with all the arrangements that have to be made when a loved one dies. Once the memorial service is over and everyone starts to go back to their daily lives is when it can get VERY DIFFICULT! By then the confusion will probably wear off and that's when you need to make sure that you have your closest loved ones with you and the time needed to take care of yourself while you grieve. It is going to take some time and I can tell you it's not going to be easy for a while, but the pain does dissipate as the weeks go by. I, myself, am starting to feel normal again and even though it still hurts, I am no longer feeling horrified or tormented. I can honestly say that I'm O.K., now. Give it some time and you'll get there, too. Until then, just remember that it's O.K. to not be O.K. You have a right to it!
2007-09-02 20:35:47 · answer #2 · answered by Tea 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You have my deepest empathies my dear friend, (((((Shannon))))) I wished I could hug you.
Nothing can take away the pain, but it is sometimes therapeutic to share your feelings. Mourning takes time. There's no short cut in the grieving process I am afraid. Try not to suppress your emotions, as that can slow down the healing process.
What you are going threw is normal. People show grief physically, by feeling numbness, disorientation, tightness in the throat. Sometimes you feel crazy, lost, lethargic, you might sleep too much or too little. All this is normal. Shock is the body's way of delaying the trauma until it can be absorbed. The bigger the shock, the more detached you feel and the longer it will last. Hold onto a routine of some sort--- it can save you. Take care of first things first: stay healthy, manage the painful feelings, take care of your kids they love and need you, etc..
I am not very good at taking my own advice I am afraid, when my mom died, I nearly drank myself blind just to kill the pain. It was the most devastating thing that has ever happened to me. I don't think I will ever get over it, not fully anyways. My mom and I were very close, I not only lost my mother I lost my best friend too. I went threw a year of hell that year that she passed away, followed by this last year of feeling numb and in a daze. I find it hard to be around children because when I see them it reminds me of my mom and I, when I was younger. It really chokes me up inside. I don't know what I'd do if my dad dies too. I'd be an orphan. :(
2007-09-03 08:50:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
Hi and I know your pain since my father died very recently also. You need to grieve because this was your father. If you were close like I was with my dad it's going to be hard for awhile. You need the time to heal and if it's being alone at times then so be it but don't get into the schedule of being always alone you will need support from other family members and friends to help you get through this healing process. Remember the good times with your dad. One thing about our memories is that they are permanent in our thoughts. They are like photos in our mind that can't be forgotten. With time your heart and mind will heal but it will take time. Some individuals take more time to heal than others it all depends on the individual when in mourning for a loved one. Try to think of it as this way, your father was in a lot of pain and now he won't suffer any longer, he's at peace with his God. I'm sorry for your loss and you have my condolences. May you find peace. Take care.
2007-09-10 06:31:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Previous one, you can't stop feeling the pain - someone you love is gone and it hurts now, and will hurt tomorrow and will hurt for many days to come. My Dad has been gone for 15 years and I still get teary eyed. Just look up to the heavens and ask Jesus to give you the strength to bear the pain. Grief is a cross that everyone must carry on their own. There is nothing anyone can say that will help, it will still hurt. Just look to Jesus, he can heal the broken heart by that he can help bring to your memory the good , the funny times so you can laugh, the advice he gave so you can think, he can also give you a dream in which your Dad can minister to you and let you know that he still lives and lives inside you. Look in the mirror, you will see your Dad, just follow his good instructions and he will be proud even from the great beyond.
2007-09-10 18:56:29 · answer #5 · answered by Ann M. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I wish there was something I could say to ease your pain, but when the same thing happened to me exactly a year ago, nothing anyone said could help.
And the fact that other people have gone through it, and that my whole family was going through it with me, didn't help either. The pain is unbearable and will be for a while. You'll get through it day by day. The pain will subside slowly.
One comforting thought is that your dad isn't suffering where he is. And I know he's close to you. No matter what anyone may believe, your dad is close to you right now. And will be always. Be thankful for having met him, and having learned from him, and for receiving his love, and pray that his soul will always be happy.
You'll feel better one day. Grieving is something you have to go through. Let yourself feel it, and know in your heart, that in time the pain will go away, and only the good memories will stay.
May your father rest in peace, and may you and your family find the courage to go on.
2007-09-05 21:10:56 · answer #6 · answered by chloe 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry about your father. Right now, being that it is so recent that he has passed, there will be pain. It hurts right now, but in time, it will get easier. Allow yourself to grieve. it is a natural process that everyone goes through when a loved one passes on.
Remember all the good times you had with him and all the things he taught you. Think of what he would want you to do right now: Would he want you to know he is safe and for you to take care of your needs or would he want you to feel so much pain?
You need to take care of yourself right now, no matter how hard it is. If it continues that you can't sleep or eat, it might be a good idea to consult a professional to help you get through this extremely tough time.
It will get easier with time. Until then, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
2007-09-10 05:53:41 · answer #7 · answered by Debi N 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't stop the pain, sweetie. It is something that you have to work through. Take it in small doses or it will over whelm you. Make yourself get up and out and go through the normal things. You'll feel like a robot and really out of place, but it gives you some time away from the heaviness of the grief.I am so very, very sorry about you losing your father. I just buried my own father a little over a month ago. I know it seems cruel, and it is, but life goes on. You will understand as you go through each day. Life won't stop even for a minute and let you get caught up. It just keeps going and it has to. For your own sake, make yourself get up and out and see what you can do to help the rest of your family. Share your feelings with others. There is no shame in grieving. Your are in pain and sometimes sharing that pain can help relieve some of it. My heart goes out to you and your family.
2007-09-02 20:21:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
It will take time. The pain will always be there but it will lessen in its intensity. I experienced this same scenario with my dad. I am terribly sorry for your loss. Remember this, What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? - Romans 8:31. The Lord daily loadeth us with benefits, even the God of our salvation. Selah. - Psalm 68:19. Read Psalm 35 (Plead My Cause) - Take the time to ask the Lord to guide you against that which is known and that which is unknown. This is a very valuable and worthwhile psalm. True, it is long-winded but it is an asset that you deserve. Peace, Love and God Bless.
2007-09-10 19:17:18 · answer #9 · answered by In God We Trust 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your loss! I know when my father died, I remember feeling the same way! I lost my father to bone cancer. I know there are no words to console you right now. But just take it one day at a time. One minute at a time. God has a way of easing your pain in time. You have just lost your dad so you will be in mourning for a while. You will never get over losing your dad, but you will be able to remember him without feeling the horrible pain of loss one day. I know it does not look that way now, but it WILL get better! Right now, you are going through the process of mourning and this is very painful. Just take it day by day.
It is important to have the love and support of your loved ones around you. If you do not want anyone around, maybe you can get an hour or two alone in a quiet place to reflect. But really, you will get through this better if you are able to talk about your feelings with a family member. Again, I am so sorry about your loss!
((((HUGS))))
2007-09-02 20:18:44 · answer #10 · answered by Marie 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Im sorry for your loss, i cant imagine how you still feel. Take your time though, give yourself the space and comfort you need to recouperate from such a thing. When i was 11 my father had a heart attack, he was lucky... but i couldnt imagine losing him, itd be very painful. Anyways i send my deepest condolinces to you. Spend some time with your family when you are feeling up to it, but dont push yourself to do anything at the moment.
2007-09-08 22:53:28 · answer #11 · answered by Lamecore 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋