I know the bible says dont have sex until marriage but my boyfriend and I are are expecting a son next month and just got back together a month ago. We are totally in love and planning to get married in a year. He hasn't offically proposed tho because he can't afford a ring right now. Now we were trying to wait until marriage but its getting really hard for us. We have already had sex and we are already one flesh and for us it isnt about just having sex we are in love and getting married next year and want to express our love to eachother. I think that we should wait until we are officially engaged but then it would be ok to express our love together. What do you think?
2007-09-02 17:51:43 · 51 answers · asked by camdensmommy07 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
i think that as a Christian u should strive to fulfill all things correctly ... but i dont condemn you ....
2007-09-02 17:57:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
This is a question with a built in answer. As a Christian, the rules say no, absolutely not, you've already messed up so don't compound the problem.
As a human being, however, as long as you're safe and clean - condoms, the pill, etc. - then there's nothing wrong with it. Just don't forget the many other ways to express your love to each other and that sex isn't the only way, but if you really feel compelled and you're smart about it, then nobody's else's rules should govern your relationship.
That's the answer to the broader question you might be asking. Just don't look for approval within the ranks, you know? You know what the rules are.
2007-09-04 18:11:29 · answer #2 · answered by Penniwit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should wait till you all are married but I have had sex with girls before and I have never been married. I do regret all but 1. I was in love with this Japanese girl she had to move back to Japan and we broke up, to make a long story short. I do not regret having sex with her because I loved her, more than even myself or anyone. So while I do think it is wrong to have sex before you are married a lot of people do it. I say if you all can wait until you are married then it will be a wonderful experience for you both! This will give you all more time to get to know each other better and without the sex being involved. That means you all will get to know each other on a deeper level. I say wait and enjoy being with each other without the sex that will help show you all how compatible you are together. If the urge becomes to much then do other things other than intercourse. I mean there are other ways to relieve the built up frustration with each other ;) I wish you two the best of luck and a long and happy marriage. I hope you have a healthy and wonderful child as well!!! Good luck. =)
2007-09-02 18:06:13 · answer #3 · answered by Prof. Dave 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think the premarital sex is a relevant one for you two. Without being married you have already had sex. What is important is what you do from here on.
Not having a ring is no reason not to be married. Your bf needs to propose and marry you now or I would question his honesty.
How is the bf set to take care of you and your son for the next twenty years? Does he have a good job and savings? And drugs and booze have no place around a new baby.
By having a child together you have taken on the roles of adults. If appropriate, you should get married and set up a stable home. He should have a career or a job and means for education to get a career.
You need to think like a mother and how to best provide for you family.
If these seem like challenges then you really must use birth control and other protection until you can manage them.
You will do fine.
2007-09-02 18:05:10 · answer #4 · answered by San Diego Art Nut 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like you put the cart before the horse. Yes it is a sin to have sex before marriage your son will be born into the world as a child with out having a traditional family. If you are truly in love why wait to be married? He can bye you a ring any time your son only has one chance to be born into the world with a married mother and father. But yes any sex outside of marriage is a sin even when you are engaged.
2007-09-02 18:16:53 · answer #5 · answered by saintrose 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sex is a gift to married couples from God, if you help yourself to this gift without being entitled to it you are going against Godthis is why it says this in (Ephesians5:5)5For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. But if you truly love each other what is stopping you from getting married?After all you have a son to considerwhat is so important about a ring or an expensive wedding?Isn't it more important to make sure of a good relationship between you 3(You, your boyfriend and your son) and God?If you values are more pointed towared a ring or a huge wedding celebration than to your relationship and son then you are aiming your arrows in the wrong direction, why not have a simple more affordable wedding earlier and get the ring later but be obedient to God. Wouldn't it be a better way to express your love to one another God and your child, with no need to have to wait as long to make a commitment to each other and to God, what really are your priorities?Are you really expressing your love to each other by having sex without commiting to each other? I personally think that it is God's thinking you should consider not other peoples. God knows best what is good for you and your child.
2007-09-02 18:24:44 · answer #6 · answered by I speak Truth 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you need to wait a year? The only reasons I can think of are selfish-- jewelry or your dream wedding. It would be really hypocritical of you to have a white wedding with your illegitimate son crying and wailing during the ceremony, and why can't you get a ring next year as an anniversary present?
If you really love each other and intend to be together forever, then for the sake of your son you should get married as soon as possible so that he is born into a family with married parents. I'm sorry for being so harsh, but you really need to think about whose interests you're looking out for here. Start thinking like a mom and put your little boy first.
2007-09-02 18:21:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
ABSOLUTELY! Even if you two aren't just about the sex it is wrong! Being "one flesh" before marriage isn't as rewarding as being "one flesh" after marriage. I think that those who wait are the ones who will get the most enjoyment. I think you should pray about it for a while. Read your Bible and let God speak to you through the Word. "You know if virgins were only sleeping with other virgins then there wouldn't be AIDS or Hepatitis C you know?" That is out of the mouth of one of my best friends. Well, anyways that's my view of it but you can decide what you want. I'm not gonna be the one responsible for your actions and you aren't gonna be responsible for mine! Love ya and God bless!
2007-09-02 18:09:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is about following the teaching of your religion. If your religion prohibits you from having sex before marriage, then you should follow the teaching of your religion. Is a ring a must in a marriage? If it is, then buy an inexpensive ring, then get married. After that you can have sex or make love as many as you want.
2007-09-02 18:00:54 · answer #9 · answered by Ray Mystery 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the Bible says it is wrong, and yes you should not do it, my boyfriend and I are also Christians, and it is really hard for us not to. We have had sex and no we should not have had and we are trying to wait until we get married. The only things you can do is not put yourself in positions that will make you want to do it. That is what we have found out. Otherwise it is really hard and yes you fall to the temptation. Just pray that those desires will be taken away until you get married. I hope this advice help you.
2007-09-02 17:59:51 · answer #10 · answered by Laughing with you not at you 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What do I think? He should go to Wal-Mart and buy a ten dollar ring and make the commitment. Is the price of a ring really that big of a deal?
You can always buy another ring. I bought my wife's ring (sterling silver) for under six bucks (hers were size issues) mine cost $12. About 2 1/2 years later I bought us matching Harley Davidson wedding rings. (funny, just realized her ring was twice as much as mine, this go round!) The rings will come. I'm glad I waited on the rings. We eloped btw.
oh, about having the sex now.... um, I think you have already crossed that bridge and are heading to the mountains.
but not to poke fun at you, you do have it right about being one flesh. What if you were in the wilderness, no preacher around? Your two are three, now.
2007-09-02 18:09:44 · answer #11 · answered by Diver Down 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋