How do you keep friends when you're naturally a silent person?

Question

I've never been much of a talker. I feel awkward when I do. Sometimes it feels hard to form kinships with people because I haven't got a lot to say. I guess I could try to stay away from them but certain situations can't be avoided.
Thanks for anybody who answers seriously and genuinely.

Answer 1

i think you should seriously push yourself to talking to your friends if you want to keep them, but then again they shouldn't turn on your because your a naturally silent person. it might still be alright even if you don't talk to them much, just don't ignore them and say hey every chance you get.

Answer 2

I'm also naturally silent, so I try to stay around people and keep friends in a number of ways. I seek out people who are very talkative in nature, they always appreciate having someone around who will listen to them, so it works out pretty well. Also, find some games or activities that you enjoy with your friends so you don't have to do a lot of talking, but can share an activity together. Perhaps even a word game, which can get you talking on the subject of the game, but you don't have to think of topics (this is usually my problem, coming up with an interesting topic to talk about).

Answer 3

I'm the same way, i'm a very quiet person, not shy really, just not very talkative. and it is really hard to make and keep friends. especially make because it takes me a while to get to know a person well enough to have something to say to them sometimes. Also, quietness can sometimes be mistaken for snobbyness, as if people think that by being a quiet person you are putting yourself above speaking to them, which probably isn't true. I think that maybe the best thing to do though is to smile, that way you don't seem too crabby, and listen good, and try to make yourself participate in conversation even if your just nodding or making pysical respones like that, even better though if you can atleast give a one or two word answer/contribution. I think that our being quiet has something to do with how we grew up, for example there is research to show that younger siblings tend to be quieter than older sibs because the older sibs have a habit of talking for the younger ones. Being quiet is a really hard thing to get past, I know, because i've been trying for years to become a better conversationalist, its just been a part of my personality for so long. so, i totally hear ya! I think i heard someone say once, conversation is an art, and if you think of it that way, any art takes practice, concentration, and some skill, so just concentrate on trying to become a more talkative person and eventually maybe you will be. :D

Answer 4

i'm quite like you but this hasn't prevented me from having as a best friend the most talkative person in the world !
our phone conversations may last up to 12 hours non stop. ( she resides in a different country than mine)
i never get tired listening to her because
- she has interesting things to say
- she has a sense of humor
- she's very intelligent
- she's a good listener
- she's kind and emphatic
- she's a true friend and another sister to me.

How is she keeping a friendship of nearly 20 years with a 'silent' person like me, you'll have to ask her !!!

Answer 5

I'm a very shy person and could easily go days without talking to anyone if I had a choice. But I've found that if I'm with a person who is funny, or a person with whom I have a common interest, it is very easy to talk to them. I don't think it's important to have lots of friends, just one or two who are good and loyal friends who are a pleasure to be with.

Answer 6

I'm in the same boat. I'm normally a very quiet person. I have few close friends because of it. You get used to it. You have to be social to have friends. I find that I can only open up to people I know well, and that limits the number of close friends I have.

If you want more friends, then you'll need to learn to function in a social environment.

Answer 7

I used to be very quiet and somewhat shy when I was younger. Until I got a job as a bartender. Dealing with the public (especially that kind of public) made me more adept at conversation. After years in the Customer Services type jobs I find that I can easily start conversations with almost anybody.
I'm not saying be a bartender... but you need to put yourself in more "social" situations so that you can get used to talking to people and interacting in a more sociable way. The awkwardness goes away with time.
And although it's the quality of the conversation not the quantity that helps you establish and keep friendships.... no conversation at all isn't going to promote a relationship. We bond with people we can identify with... and for that to happen we have to get to know them a little at least.

Answer 8

I would advise you to not focus on 'keeping friends'
find somethings to join
volunteer to help carry food out to cars at the local food bank
find out of school classes in something that you are interested in

whatever it takes to be amongst people that can accept your presence that can allow you to mix and see people more

there are many out there that well know still waters run deep and appreciate the presence
and you will naturally be drawn to those you resonate to
but you have to do the stepping outside your door in order to activate it

Answer 9

Some of my very best friends are more "good listeners" than good talkers, the world has lots of talkers, not near as many good listeners........and if you listen carefully, it'll come to you what to say......and you don't have to say a lot to be a good friend.

Answer 10

Lots of people are silent...
Your friends I'm sure except you the way you are..