URGENT!!! Boy help!?!? Please help meeeee...?

Question

My parents organized a neighborhood party at our house for today, without telling me till yesterday. They didnt tell me probably bcuz they knew id be upset, here's why:
A boy who is my neighbor asked me out in 7th grade (last year), but lets just say he isn't my type.... so sadly i had to say no. We havent talked since, but my friends tell me he still Really likes me. Im upset because the party starts in less than an hour and he's coming to it. I have a feeling its gonna be extremely awkward, because my parents will probably make me talk with him since we will be the only teens at the party. Please Please Please help... how should i act around him?? What should should i say to him?? And how do i escape to my room without my parents getting mad at me (or acting rude)??? help plz...!!!

Answer 1

It is an age thing. When you grow older and mature (note that a lot of people grow old but never mature) you will learn to deal with this kind of problem. The way we old folks deal with it is by moving on to a different subject. Simply put we have gotten used to either saying no or being told no. You ask, you get the no and you accept the no as an acceptable answer. It doesn't mean we like the answer but it is what it is. The thing here is that you don't have to become enemies with a person just because you had difference of opinions in one subject. Albeit it does happen often. Boys especially take no very harsh. You see when it comes to dating a no is not just a simple no. For example if my kid asks for a new toy and I say no he doesn't like the answer. However, he doesn't take it as far as thinking that he is an inferior person. He may not agree with me about why I say no but he will not take it personally as in he won't think there is something wrong with him. He probably think there is something wrong with me though. In dating is different because being told no denotes that there must be something wrong with us. Not the person saying no but the person asking. This gets especially accentuated when other boys seem to have such an easy time getting dates while us poor ugly people get turn down all the time. A lot of times is the approach we do or we simply don't know how to date and atrack women. Is really an art form. All men even to older age have problems. Even to this day I myself have some problems aproching women. The difference is that I am now married with kids so I do not fear being turn down because well, I don't ask that sort of question since I don't need to anymore right. Still is nice to know you still got that special something even though you know it will never lead to anything because you alrady have that special someone. Well, this boy is angry because he feels rejected and he thinks the cause of rejection is partly him and partly you. The first half is that he feels that there must be something wrong with him. Also, he doesn't know how to deal with rejection. He still doesn't understand due to lack of experience that no is an acceptable answer. What most guys do is move on and try somewhere else. I guess that if you try 1,000 different girls then at least 1 will say yes. Because of this lack of acceptance he blames you for his suffering. He may see you as an evil person who hurt his feeling. There is a lot of psycology behind all of this and it is all due to age and inexperience. I have had experiences where I have been told no and I accepted the outcome. Yet, the people that said no did not accept my reaction. They have acted afterward as if I was supposed to be mad or not honest about my behavior. This is in referance to my job. I think over time they also accepted that I accepted the no. It took them a while though and I still see some people with a bit of uncomfortableness.

My advice to you is to bring out your probes. There is no reason to be mean to the boy unless he is mean to you. Just go to the party and talk to people and enjoy your time. If he shows up then say hi to him. See how he reacts to your presence. Don't be forcefull, just see how he reacts. Offer him a drink of soda or what not. Ask him about X or Y movie. If he opens up then great. If he doesn't then thats is his problem because you at least tried to make amends. Again, note that this is an age thing. As you get older you will view the world differently and so will him. If things work out and you guys go back to being friends then great. If it doesn't then oh well, such is life. You however, should not stop living your life and enjoying yourself.

Answer 2

First of all, I know I'm not a guy but I'm gonna answer anyways. It really depends on the type of guy. But yeah a lot of guys like innocent girls, and some like dumb girls who pretend the have a brain of a 5 yr old. But most guys aren't usually attracted to the type of girl who "pretends" to be dumb and innocent for an actual relationship since I could understand that they would easily get bored with that kind of girl since she acts like she doesn't know anything. And the guys ur talking about probably only give her that kind of attention when she's around becuz they know they can easily use her and then dump her. Sooo yeah

Answer 3

OMG. i know what you're going through! only this guy didn't ask me out. he's a year younger than me and is like obsessed with me..ugh what you need to do is just invite some other person (preferably a guy!) to the party and just all three of you hang out! if it's a girl then you can just do girly stuff so he doesn't want to join you! ugh but i knowww what you're going throu it sucks and is so awkward. just wear something really ugly and hopefully he won't be hitting on you too much lol best of luck!

Answer 4

talk to anyone you can at the party as long as it is not him, don't make eye contact.

stack some stuff in the bathroom and make a get away when he comes by and go to the bathroom. When he leaves tell your parents your stomache hurts and u wanna lay down. So then stay in your room for the rest of the night.

Thats what i would do :]

Answer 5

This is one of the agonies of socializing. You HAVE to appear, and be pleasant, and make small talk.
But, realize that you are in your power position, since you're in your own home during the party.
You will feel much more confident, and be able to handle it, don't worry.
You owe him nothing, except what you would to any guest in your home. Smile and say meaningless things.

Answer 6

i think that being honest is the best policy, don't shy away to your room let him know how you feel and that you dont think things will work out between you two. as i boy who has been rejected by many a girl, the shock lasts for about a day max... depending on the level of infatuation, trust me, if the kid is normal, he will get along with rejection just fine.

just be nice about it, or you might come off bitchy

Answer 7

This is a good, sneaky trick--You could always find and adult to talk too. If there is one you know, use them. If not pick one at random. Then just spend the whole party with them, or a couple of them.

For example-
-Pick out a 'mom' and ask/talk about cooking
-Pick a vet and ask about thier service
-Pick someone and ask about thier job

Answer 8

well you wont be able to escape to your room. you best chances are to deal with the problem. first thing do not resent the guy or ignore him trust me that is whne he is going to persist even more. talk to him say hi wassup so how your summer tryt o amke conversation and if you guys have a common ground stick to it try to get him ditracted and so on. one thing if he starts staring into your eyes that is kind of bad news for you which basically means that he really likes you so try to like avoid the question (again) hope that i was able to help

Answer 9

Just talk to him for a little bit so you don't appear rude but then say you have to go and help with the party (but don't forget to look a little busy once in awhile) :)

Answer 10

Try and not avoid him, the longer you try the harder its going to be to confront him, You can either just talk to him normally and pretend like nothing happened or attempt to laugh off his whole asking out thing (not recommended since the breakup wasnt exactly neutral :)).

Just cause you dumped his **** like a tonn of bricks doesnt mean you cant be friends, maybe :)