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I'm a nurse practitioner and my husband is an engineer and we are both thinking about starting a family but i'm still on the fence about quiting my job and becoming a full time mom or becoming a super mom

2007-09-02 13:37:11 · 10 answers · asked by Wanting...But Can't 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting Other - Pregnancy & Parenting

10 answers

I was a happy, fulfilled professional with a full time job that I loved when I got pregnant with twins. I assumed that I'd go back to work after my six weeks was up. What I found was that after six weeks, I was just getting to know my kids an wasn't ready to leave! 7 years later, I'm not back at work. I love being totally connected to what my kids are doing. It's a little tough not being able to identify with my prior profession, but it was worth it for me to stay home w/the kids. It's not for everyone, but it worked for me.

I can't stand it when people make mean comments about the choices that mothers make. Everyone is different and what works for one woman won't always work for another. I have friends that have stayed home and friends that are in demanding, fulfilling jobs. Both sets of friends are happy and have wonderful children.

It's a hard decision, and it may be one that you end up changing once you have a baby. Stay flexible and know that you'll pour all the love you have into that baby whether or not you quit your job. Either way, you'll have a happy baby.

2007-09-02 13:47:43 · answer #1 · answered by Liza 6 · 0 0

I was a full time teacher and I decided that I would stay with my son for the first year. I can't imagine doing anything different. He is now 13mo and I don't regret leaving my job for a minute. You do need to make sure that make time to be with other adults. When your baby is old enough utilize drop in day care so you can have lunch with a friend or just have some YOU time. When he or she is old enough you may consider going back part time, then see how that goes. I tutor part time to have a little "me" money. I have a hard time depending on my husband when I want to buy something for me.

I couldn't stand putting my son in daycare full time and having someone else tell me what my son's schedule is or what he does and doesn't like or about his first words or first steps. I feel like that's not why I became a mother. I want to be the one with him all the time. I want to be his main influence. For example my son is an excellent sleeper and I think that has to do with the effort I put into it.

One final thing...in the beginning always nap when they nap. You'll need it.... but a mid day nap is a little perk I enjoy from time to time even these days.

Also you're children are only small once. You only get one chance to do parenting right. Stay home with them if you can. Your baby deserves it....(ps. breastfeed too...its a lot easier when you stay home and do it)

2007-09-02 14:09:58 · answer #2 · answered by Lil'Mama 2 · 0 0

They say being a stay at home mom is the toughest job there is..... not true.

The hardest thing is being a working mom. You have to do everything a stay home mom does, in a fraction of the time!

The thing I love about staying home is that I"m never in a hurry. If my kids were well behaved at the store, they can do the mechanical rides when we get finished. If it's a nice day out, we can hang out at the beach or playground or go for ice cream. I like being able to take them to do special things and just take our time.

I've also been a working mom and it is sooo hard to work a full day, come home and have the energy and patience to be the mom I want to be....(proper disciplining, home cooked meals, etc). After an 8 hour day its hard to not snap at the baby when she throws food on the floor (her current phase) and not yell my son for doing something that doesn't deserve yelling.

We do suffer financially because I don't work, but we wouldn't be much better off if i WERE working. I do a lot of things to help save money, like clip coupons and do laundry with cold water. It's also frustrating sometimes because my husband works long days (sometimes 15 hours) and doesn't always have a clear understanding of how much work it is to
"parent properly." He has to solve problems like... an unmotivated staff, but I have to teach a 15 month old not to pull things off the counter (most recently an entire pitcher of apple juice) and a 3 year old that he can't pee in the front yard.

It's a lot to think about!! There is a middle ground... you could work part time, maybe opposite your husbands hours/days off so you wouldn't have to worry about daycare, and you would still get time out of the house if you're not meant for constant mothering.

Good Luck!

2007-09-02 13:55:08 · answer #3 · answered by beach answerer 5 · 1 0

I am a stay at home mom and I love it, the pro's are seeing your child grow up and never missing any of the milestones it pays for itself.
Con's are small but you seem to loose alot of your freedom even when the hubby comes home because you are expected to work 24/7.
If you can deal with loosing your social life to be with your baby that I would totally recommed it!
for me being with my daughter is way more important than socializing at work.

You could always take maternity leave and if you decide you need the money or would like to return to work early you job would be there!

2007-09-02 13:48:51 · answer #4 · answered by Kat 2 · 0 0

Pros:
- One-on-one time with the children allows them to learn more quickly and strengthens the bond between you
- You have more flexibility in adjusting your daily routine
- Getting things done during business hours is easier (pick up drycleaning; hair appointments; renewing driver's license)
- You can pretend you are watching Disney movies because your kids like them.
- You don't have to work.

Cons:
- You are completely dependent on your husband financially (not a good lifestyle for control freaks like me).
- You have less say in financial decisions unless he decides otherwise.
- You might get bored with baby talk and housework.
- You are likely to be stereotyped more as a "typical" woman.
- You will miss the pride that comes with earning your own way.

2007-09-02 13:57:45 · answer #5 · answered by curiousme 3 · 1 0

Initially - you must both know your priorities and financial standing. If you are financially secured relying on your husband's income alone then its time for you to start a family. Being a full time homemaker is physically exhausting but the rewards are great. You can attend more to the needs of your husband, you have enough time for yourself and be able to focus on having a baby.

2007-09-02 14:42:11 · answer #6 · answered by addicted too 3 · 0 0

I am an R.N. who took a break for my kids care. I loved it!! My biggest con was NO ADULT CONVERSATION during the day, and when my hubby came home he didn't want to talk about my day at all. I now take in kids for fun....I just love to have them around. I did the 'Supermom' thing too. I have 4 kids 19, 17, 11, 10. We do Hockey, Gymnastics, Wrestling, Baseball, and Football. I usually have a break for 2 weeks in the summer, then running 4 different places at one time continues still.

2007-09-02 13:48:52 · answer #7 · answered by Momma P 5 · 1 0

Consider this as well. You could take some time off and work part-time. Many nurses do that. They feel connected with adults while still being there for their kids.

2007-09-02 14:23:13 · answer #8 · answered by CarbonDated 7 · 0 0

If he's willing to pitch in with the responsibility of raising a kid. and loving that kid and teaching his kid responsibilities. It takes a village to raise 1 child.

2007-09-02 13:50:41 · answer #9 · answered by jennajade 4 · 0 0

none you still work and get insulted at the end of the day

2007-09-02 13:44:14 · answer #10 · answered by Michael M 7 · 0 1

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