How do I handle my husband's valid criticisms when I am usually severely depressed?

Question

I have bipolar and am married. As with any couple, there are areas where we don't get along. We've been together 5 years.
In my case, the usual sticking point is that I am not good about picking up after myself. I was not trained to do that as a kid, and learning it as an adult is hard, but my husband admits I do better. However, I still am not good at it, so he criticizes me. Trouble is, that most times I am trying, and just forget, sometimes due to the short attention span of bipolar itself. Other times, I am forcing myself to make supper and I already figuratively have one foot in the mental hospital, and then I can't clean up afterwards. I tell him I am severely depressed but he forgets because I try to act normally and don't go on and on about it. He feels that he can't criticize me because then I get VERY upset (true!) But I really CAN'T take it when I am depressed. How can he have his upsets & me not be ready to suicide over them? I get good medical care & take my meds.

He's not being a jerk, he has a bad day like anyone else, it's just that when he has a bad day, it is beyond what I can handle. He gets ticked off when I say things like "I belong in a group home" or "I want to die, so why are you giving me a hard time when you already knew that?" So he feels he can never say anything negative. However, it is TRUE that I want to die, most times, and I often DO feel I belong in a group home. Is marriage just impossible for a bipolar person whom the pills aren't helping very much? (I've tried them all, in combinations, always take them, been for years of competent counseling, gotten many medical opinions, follow good nutrition and sleep habits etc. etc. )

Answer 1

If you are doing what you need to do medically (are you on anti-depressants?), then perhaps you two need to go for some counseling. A certified counselor is trained for all scenarios. It helped my parents greatly.

If your meds aren't working, you need to talk to your doctor or maybe even a new one.

Answer 2

Don't feel guilty about having a problem. Make a list on paper, The Pros and Cons of Cleaning Up. This may have an effect on your rational thinking for the moment.