Tips for getting over your first break up?

Question

We're still trying to be friends, and it's going ok. It took me a long time to get back to being friends. But for me, it still hurts sometimes. What are some ways of getting my mind off everything...it's been a month and a half?

It's harder because I still love him.

Answer 1

well, from experience i can tell you that time might heal it, but maybe not i was just dumped by my boyfriend of 14 months. you just have to get out and be with your family and friends. your very luck you are still friends, my ex wont even take the time of day to talk to me even though we were best friends. and its going to hurt, its going to make you cry and its going to make you miss him, but all you can do is keep your chin up and be thankful your still friends and realize that it could be so much worse. people may tell you time will mend your broken heart, but from what i know...it doesn't. its only been 2 weeks for me and i am still as depressed as the day he broke up with me. all i can tell you Hun, is think positive, stay happy and healthy. don't get too worked up about it, its okay to cry and its okay to let go.

Answer 2

TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS, although scars always remain for reflection.
Personally I believe it's not something anyone should ever forget, because this is just another lesson in your life to reflect upon...
BUT to help cope with the anguish and/or hurt:

1st of ALL I've personally found ALL breakups to be easier by just making NEW friends whenever you can.

Work can help take your mind off things.
Also spending time with playful or comforting pets (eg cats, dogs, bunny's, rats, horses etc) just any pets requiring social attention.

JIC there's a child involved, I'm not specifically saying you have any) but in case there is alway remember when you look at that child and all you see is him/her (depending on the relationship) always REMEMBER that it's your child too, which I find the BEST FOCAL POINT to move on, and that way a child will have a better chance of avoiding neglection.

Anything Spiritual may help, like meditation or joining a likeminded group.

But if your emotion is in any way too overbearing you could see some sort of councellor, besides it's the in thing to keep a check on our own mental stability.
The days of embarrassment to see shrinks is OVER.
Everyone does it from time to time now anyway.

I must admit though these are only a few ways, which MAY help, but honestly there are sooo many methods and it really just depends on what works for you :)

Hope this helps in some way.
Good Luck :)

P.S. Remember my capitals are NOT shouting just enhancing on what I want to stand out :)

Answer 3

Hey,

It is a sad thing when the relationship is over. I recently suffered a break up in March. It hurt alot. It still hurts. Each day passes and I know that you will think of him at least once a day.

I find that it is best not to hold your life back. Go out mix with friends. Have a huge b!tch session. Point at all his faults and laugh at the thought of "Why did I like him in the first place."

There is going to be lots of crying and feeling depressed. A lot of what ifs will go through your mind.

It is great your still friends. Which can be hard. I am lucky I am still friends with my ex. Even though he has moved on. He moved onto a woman who is 44, has FIVE kids and is an ex-herion addict who lives interstate. He still says their friends but hey once he slept with the whore I dont think I can see him in a romantic light again.
He is 33 and I am 23 so yeah hun we are both young and we will go through this with many other guys before we find the right one.

Hope you cheer up.

Answer 4

Sorry to say, but usually it doesn't work out just being friends. Usually one of you will find a new partner and then the others heart breaks all over again. It's been a year since I broke up with my first, and I still sometimes think about him, and it still sometimes hurts. But I saw him the other day and it was nice to see him and not want to be with him, knowing that it wouldn't work instead of wanting it to work. Try to have some alone time just yourself. Try not to spend time with him as it will make you want to be with him more. It's going to be really hard, as relationships are such hard things. I hope you feel better someday. Good luck. :)

Answer 5

Millions have had a first break-up---Hey that's life---there are NO guarantees in life--and stuff happens. If you don't get over this and move on, you will stay unhappy and confused. We all lose once in a while. Being friends means staying in contact--is it to watch him and see what he is doing every minute of the day?? If you stay friends--remember he has a life and can do what he wants without getting your approval--anything else is stalking and domineering---so make up your mind to move on--get a new guy when you are ready---live your own life. Good luck

Answer 6

You may never get over him to be honest. I think there's something about a first love. I'm still friends with my first love....we dated for awhile and broke up because he did not want to get married (I'm 27 and not getting any younger!!), but we're still friends. We broke up almost 9 months ago and it still hurts when he talks about his other friends. They're not dating or anything, but the fact that he spends so much time with them and not as much with me, it really hurts. It's even harder when you're still friends. About the only way to really get over him would be to not see him at all. I know that even in my case, but I want to remain friends with him so I put up with the hurt. I wonder why I do sometimes, but I don't want to throw away a friendship, either. One way you can get your mind off him is to keep your mind focused on someone or something else. Try to go out with other people, make new friends, join a club, church or something that will take your mind off him. That's what I'm trying to do. It's not easy, but it's really the only way. Good luck!!!

Answer 7

The first thing you should do is stop yourself from not to think about him. The more you stop yourself the more you'll think. I'd suggest not to meet him or even call him. Over time you'll get over it. In the mean time you can engage yourself into something new.
What you are going through now is absolutely normal and happens to everyone. The only cure is TIME. It'll take time, no matter what. after few months you'll feel better.

Answer 8

unless your in the same circle of friends, don't bother trying to stay friends, do you really want to hear about his new girlfriend? The best way to get over him is to stop all contact. Also focus on your self. a new hair cut can make you feel better (as does chocolate) and its also a good time to call up all the girls for a night out and a few cocktails. If your having fun your not thinking about him! plus shagging other fellas will help!

Answer 9

Start hanging with friends and family a lot. Get your mind off of him for a bit. Spend some time with yourself also. But more time with friends. And don't start to get a boyfriend right away. But it's okay to date other people. Just try not to get to serious with them right now.

Answer 10

I've been in love twice in my life; and in both cases I thought I would die when the relationship ended. I was in such pain that I expected my heart to explode from the pressure. And yet, in both cases, the day came when I didn't hurt anymore. The pain just lifted and I was able to go on with my life. There's a place in my heart where I keep the memory of both love affairs. I keep them both in the past, where they will always be.