My wife showed our small kids (7 & 4 y.o's) this video today... and I flipped out at her?

Question

Today, my 4 year old runs away from my wife outside our mall, heading toward the street. We tell him time and time again, but unless my wife collars him, he pushes his luck.

He didn't come close to getting hurt...THANK GOD, but my wife was infuriated with him. When she returned home, she marched him to our computer and forced him to watch this very graphic youtube.com video of a guy carrying a pizza getting hit by a car.

I believe, it scared him too much, as he started to cry ,hoping for his mothers console. (This is when I returned home myself). She then had a hard love talk with him, and he went on to play with his toys.

I saw the video in question and grew mad at my wife, I think the video was much too graphic for his young mind to handle.

So please, if you have the nerve, please watch this video (VERY GRAPHIC) and tell me if my wife did the wrong thing.

I strongly believe she did.

the youtube link is

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JwJnBOZm00

Serena...Your way off base...I can't believe your words, and Arabmuslim...thanks for offering NO help to a very serious issue.

I cannot believe some of the people's responses here. How you try to turn the tables and make this about me getting mad at my wife. Someone even suggested spanking ...and shared a laugh with her husband when learning they both spanked their son a different times.

I UNDERSTAND (THOUGH DISAGREE) WHY MY WIFE SHOWED THIS CLIP...MY DISCUST WITH HER AROSE BECAUSE SHE SHOWED IT OUT OF ANGER HERSELF.

newbie...your sarcasm is not needed by anybody, I guess you don't possess the brainpower to think of a better method.

Answer 1

I think that there is a better way to tell a kid not to run in the street besides a graphic video of someone getting hit by a car. That was a grown man getting hit, a 4 year old would be worse. I think she was very wrong for doing that. I watched it and it was too graphic for me. And I am 20 years old. I would never show my kid something like that.

Answer 2

I have to admit i'm very torn.....On one hand I think 4 is much to young, but I work as a paramedic, so on the other hand I think it is good. I can understand your wife feeling very frustrated and maybe this is something they have been working on that he just can't seem to understand. I do think that her feeling upset lead to him watching this video. If you think this is going to be an ongoing problem with teaching him lessons then yes talk to her and let her know you do not agree, but if this was out of frustration then take a minute and talk to her and try to understand what's going on. In all honesty he's 4 so he more then likely dosen't even remember it anymore. I wish some of the kids I have picked up had seen that video. Not for the graphic details but to show cause and effect. I don't mean to sound harsh, but when you have to do CPR on a 5yo that was hit by a car you begin to wish that parents were just a little more honest and detailed about what happens. I'm not saying take him to an ER or watch a detailed video but maybe he needs to have the effects explained just a little rougher then you have been doing. As for your 7yo I do think he is at an age where he needs to see what can happen. I'm not saying he needs to see blood and guts but watching someone get hit and seeing what happens is a good way to really explain why you get so mad. Sorry if i'm rambling.......Good Luck to you guys it will work out.....I think you're both just to passionate about it right now.

Answer 3

Although the video is graphic and absolutely horrible sometimes there is nothing else you can do but be upfront and honest with you kids no matter what age they are. If this was the only way to reach him to get him to stop running out in the street then she did the right thing.

Although you are angry and think that she did the wrong thing you have to be able to agree to disagree. Your wife may have just saved your son by sitting him down and showing him that video. Children are free from fear until they are taught it. Fear is a learned behavior. Remember as a kid how you felt that you could conquer the world. You weren't afraid to jump off of things until you fell and got hurt right? You learned the consequences of your actions along the way. Your wife was just trying to do the right thing by showing him the consequences of being in the street and what could happen to him. Too many parents fluff up life and kids go out into the world blind and then wind up coming home defeated. You have to arm your kids with the knowledge of the real world and try to teach them to make the right choices. After that they are on their own and there isn't anything you can do.

Good luck! Try not to be too mad at her for trying to protect your child. Her intentions were good.

Answer 4

It was a fake video anyway, but a small kid at 4 year old would really be scared from videos like that, I believe it was very graphic for him, I'm sorry but this might create a big fear for him, I mean he might never even think about crossing the street or worry about his parents crossing streets maybe for a long time if you don't talk with him a bout it... But there is a way you could handle this, you could sit down and talk to him and tell him that the video he had to see would NOT happen everytime he crosses the street, it could only happens when he does that alone or run away from you. But it wouldn't happen if he crossed the street with an adult or his parents, try to make him understand that what he saw will NOT happen as long as he crosses streets with you and never run away from you... I believe he will understand that this is an acident that only happens when a small kid runs away from his parent to streets like that or when an older parents doesn't pay attention while crossing... Tell him at the end that he is a strong boy and he will always avoid this accident as long as he listens to you and walks right infront of you and try to smile and encorage or support his will and let it be a sign of being a 'good healthy boy'. :)


I believe you and your wife, as parents should always try your best to avoid scary stuff and voilence into your child's life, even when he is older.

Answer 5

I think it is a very well staged video, and I am guessing noone was harmed in it (because of the "dummy" at the end, and who would just happen to be taping a guy crossing the street with a pizza??) and maybe your wife could have taken a different tactic in teaching the boy a lesson, but I can almost see her point. I have had the vision of my daughter running away in the street with such results, since she had little fear of the street at that age.

In any event, the video was viewed and your wife made the point to the boy. Let it go now. I am sure she knows of your displeasure.

Answer 6

i think that would be pretty graphic for a 4 year old but 7 i might be on the border line with........now a days, you can easily turn on a TV and see a show or movie with a scene like that.........and everyone has different parenting methods....and for some children only the most graphic or tough love situations will work. in no way am i trying to justify her actions...i'm just saying things from another point of view. I DO HOWEVER think she should have sat down with you to discuss an approach to the situation.........It could have been handled a bit differently. its time to have a conversation....good luck

Answer 7

OMG...

Well, if your four year old is anything like mine (he actually walked into a moving car and runs into the road without hesitation) I can understand her reasoning. Its desperation to make him understand that its DANGEROUS!!!

ON the other hand the video is very harsh for a small boy.

I don't know what to say. I still can't get my son to grasp the dangers, I just yell a lot in parking lots and look like a crazy woman.

I wouldn't say she did a wrong thing, maybe an age inappropriate thing. Perhaps if you both had sat down and worked out a strategy to teach your son road respect. I wouldn't beat her up too much but I would stress that in instances like those, she needs to discuss her proposed methods with you first and you both have to agree.

Answer 8

Well, I can guarantee he won't do that ever again, because you're right he is probably traumatized. But, some things, like crossing the street without looking, and putting your fingers in the socket are too serious for a slap on the wrist. I think your son will be okay, and I think your wife meant well, so just tell her in the future you would like to be included in the decision next time she decides to show your child a video.

Answer 9

I can understand that she is scared that he'll get hit but that was too much. The next time he runs away towards a street u spank his butt that will change his mind about doing that again. At 4 years old he should know better.

Answer 10

Too graphic. Just watch TV with your kids during Primetime one night and you'll see many things worse than this. Right on to your wife, if a four year old can't comprehend the implications of what might happen, or can't have a little bit of fear for not listening to his parents what else can you do. Thanks to society for reducing the amount of discipline that a parent can induce upon their own children. Hence the reason for rising crime rates, greater teen pregnancies, earlier drug and alcohol usage.